Unspoken Fatherly Love

This past weekend, my Dad told me how proud he was of me as a dad. He never imagined that I'd be this good of a father, or this dedicated. Between the blog, the pictures, the videos, and of course the time I spend with her, its more than he would have thought I would become. I've always been good with kids, but never this good according to him.

When he said those things, it kinda blew me away. Hearing things like that from your own Dad is the greatest compliment anyone could ever give. After all, most peoples Dads are what the aspire to become. My Dad worked (and still works) real hard to support his family. He has overcome a lot to get where he is, and while he worked a lot, he was always there for us. He rarely missed one of my Little League baseball games, or concerts, or anything else that I had going on. We went to Yankees game together and played baseball or basketball together. We rode roller coasters and climbed the nets at Sesame Place together. We did all types of things that made us close.

As many things as we did together, we still weren't the closest of friends. We were Father and Son, which is definitely different from being close friends, but not in a bad way. We didn't show emotion to each other often, and in fact, probably went out of our way to hide emotion (either good or bad) on occasion. But despite all of that, I still feel a close connection with my Dad and I know he feels the same for me. It was just made even clearer to me last weekend.

I hope Kaylani and I have a close connection now and especially when she's older. It's way too early to tell if she'll still be Daddy's Girl, or if she'll be more of a Momma's Girl. I want her to feel comfortable with me. To come to me in good times or bad times. To know that I'll always be here for her and how I'd do anything for her if she asks or doesn't ask. I want all of this from her because that's what I have with my Dad. I know he's there for me 100% of the time, no matter if he says it or not. I just hope Kaylani feels comfortable saying it. That's the difference between Daddy-Daughter and Daddy-Son closeness. So while I wish for all these things for Kaylani to say outwardly, I'm going to take the cheap way out and say it here. Thanks for everything Dad. You're the best and I love you.

I thought this post was especially fitting since it's Fatherhood Friday so I waited all week to post it. Now do your part and click on over to Dad-Blogs to read other posts from the great group of Dads (and Moms) we have over there. Oh, and give your Dad a call and tell him you love him. Or at least write it down. I'm sure he deserves it.

Dads, Not Babysitters!

After much anticipation, my official Dad-Blogs shirt finally arrived. And conveniently it arrived just in time for the very first extended Daddy-Daughter Day. Today, Mommy went to get a 90 minute massage from her favorite massage place (Hillsborough Massage Therapy) to redeem part of her Mother's Day gift, which meant that Daddy and Kaylani (and Padrino Tim) were alone with Kaylani for a whole 4 hours. Sure that doesn't sound a lot, but it was by far the longest Mommy has been away. But I wasn't babysitting today, I was Daddy-ing (Fathering? Papi-ing? I dunno, but it wasn't babysitting).

To many of you, babysitting may sound like the right term for what I did today, but it's not. Babysitting is what someone does when they just watch Kaylani. But as Kaylani's Dad, it's about more than just watching Kaylani. I'm her Dad, which means that I'm going to love her, take care of her, teach her, guide her, and be there for her whenever and wherever she needs me. Some babysitters do that, but still not the way Dad does.

I could get into a whole rant about the way society views Dads as babysitters, but there are a host of posts already on the topic over at Dad-Blogs. So instead, let's recap just how Daddy and Kaylani's day went today. It started at 5:30am when Kaylani decided she wasn't going to wait until noon for Mommy to leave and for Daddy-Daughter Day to start. But since she's still not a pro at the sippy cup (and because Mommy and Daddy had grand visions of her nursing then going back to sleep until 7am), Mommy nursed her and Daddy-Daughter Day started at 6:30am. From then until 8am, we played with blocks, blankets, other blocks, animals, curtains, the exersaucer, the jumper, and finally a doll before it was time for cereal. After that, it was Mommy's turn to nurse her before Kaylani's first nap.

The real Daddy-Daughter time (without a safety net) came at noon, and was comprised of some more blocks, some more jumping, lunch (mmm..green beans), some flying (courtesy of Padrino Tim), and then a nap in the car as Daddy the realtor showed Padrino Tim the neighborhoods. And to round out the time, Kaylani got to see Auntie Meredith and Katie before a trip to Panera for lunch. Soon enough it was time to say bye bye to Padrino Tim and Auntie Meredith, and hi to a new, refreshed, relaxed Mommy. After a trip to the park and some time in the swings, we were back home for a nice dinner of carrots and prune juice (poor baby needs to POOP!)

Now Kaylani is doing the one thing that Daddy can't help with...nursing. As hard as I tried today to do everything just like Mommy, I couldn't bring myself to get her to latch on (which was probably for the best since we avoided something like this happening). So Daddy-Daughter Day is over for now. Soon enough she'll be a pro at this whole sippy cup thing which means Daddy-Daughter Day could be extended even longer. I hope it's soon because I had a blast. Plus, I've got another Dad-Blogs T-shirt to wear, and these times are perfect to show them off.

Much overdue, but check out pictures from the last many days. They include pictures from today obviously, as well as her first Veggie Puff, real apples, and everything else that's happened. And don't forget to click over to Dad-Blogs to read my latest Sports IllustraDad post on the rules of golfing with a baby! Oh, and lastly, if you want your very own Dad-Blogs "Dads, not Babysitters" T-shirt, buy one now from The Dad-Blogs store! They make great Father's Day gifts! Just saying.

Nice one, Dad

I'd have to say Kaylani adjusted to being home from vacation pretty well. She woke up once last night after about 5 hours, but went back to sleep on her own for the next 7. Then she took 2 two hour naps, and even a 30 minute nap in between them. And to top it all off, she ate all 3 meals without complaining too much, and went to sleep by herself after crying for about 30 minutes on and off. Everything was going so well...until Daddy got home.

Daddy had a Little League playoff game tonight so he missed out on pretty much everything. He did get spend a quick lunch with Kaylani, but her second nap happened to be in the 20 minutes Daddy got to spend at home before going to the game (we lost 8-6 by the way). And when he got home from baseball, Kaylani was already in bed for awhile, so the only glimpse he got of her was through the video monitor which should have been good enough. Apparently, it wasn't.

After Mommy and Daddy had a late dinner, Daddy was walking back towards the kitchen to drop off the plates. That's when IT happens. Now in the past, IT has referred to a Code Brown, so to get that out of the way, IT did not mean a Code Brown. Instead, the knife fell from Daddy's plate onto the floor. And it didn't just drop lightly to the floor. It dropped like a rock to the floor. Like a rock that makes a loud metallic clanging sound when it hits the floor. And you know what loud metallic clanging sounds do to sleeping babies? Yep, it wakes them up.

That was 90 minutes ago. Kaylani JUST went back to sleep now. And all it took was 2 trips in to her room to try and calm her down, and then a third trip which involved a diaper change (to make sure that the knife didn't scare the poop out of her), some swaying, and a whole lot of calming kisses. After a few minutes, Kaylani was back in her crib. And after a few more minutes, she thankfully gave in for the night, or at least for now. Hopefully it's for the night.

Now it's time for Mommy and Daddy to call it a night. It's not so much that we're tired, but being in bed means that there's less chance that Daddy can make any more sudden loud noises. And it also means that he won't have to worry about Mommy saying "Nice one, Dad" again. At least not until Kaylani cries. Speaking of which, I think I hear her crying right now. Nice one, Dad.

The Embarrasser

Several people have told me that Kaylani is going to be so embarrassed of her dad when she is old enough to read this blog. While that's true, I'm pretty sure that I'll be embarrassing to Kaylani for far more things then just this blog. She's not old enough to realize it yet, but she will very quickly.

Kaylani is only 12 weeks old, and already I can tell she's embarrassed of me. Just today, Mommy, Uncle Tommy, and Auntie Gretchen were out at Triumph having lunch and some beer. Daddy was dared to put his mouth around an entire 5 oz beer and down it in one gulp, and of course he tried. But, being the responsible Dad, I didn't actually drink the beer like that, but I did pose for a few pictures with Kaylani. I could tell she was embarrassed though because she closed her eyes and hid in her carseat. Sure, some people may think she was sleeping. Call it Daddy's intuition, but I'm pretty sure she was just embarrassed instead.

If that's what happens at 12 weeks, I wonder what's going to happen as Kaylani gets a little older and I get a little goofier (if that's possible). Will I be the Dad who does crazy things like run into walls, or juggle various objects, all to get a laugh out of Kaylani and/or her friends? You bet I will! Will I be the type of Dad who tells embarrassing stories of Kaylani to her boy friends (not boyfriends because those aren't allowed)? Sure will! And will I be that Dad who goes to all the school trips and dances and makes stupid jokes all the time all to keep an eye on her? Of course!

In a way, I almost feel bad for Kaylani for all the things that I will put her through. I also hope that Mommy is as strong as she says she is and can actually stop me from going over the top. But keeping me under control would be quite the task for any one person, but if anyone could do it, I guess it would be Mommy. In order to do it, one of two things is going to have to happen. The first, and less likely of the two things, would be to have a talk with me to make sure I understand the repercussions of my actions will be for Kaylani. Since that's not going to work, the other, and very likely of the two, will be to leave Dad behind whenever possible. But until they can do that, I guess both Mommy and Kaylani will both have to deal with The Embarrasser.

Daddy vs Papi

Back when Kaylani was born, I made a point of ensuring that everyone knew what Kaylani's name was, how it come about, and importantly, how it was pronounced. And now that we're approaching the 12 week mark, it's come to my attention that I probably only call her Kaylani 10% of the time. The other 90% of the time are a mix of various alterations including (but not limited to) Kaylancita, Mamor, Mamorcita, Baby Girl, Little Girl, Munchkin, Little Munchkin, Poopymonster, Poopy Queen, and a million others.

I'm very curious to know if she'll even know what her name is when she gets older. At some point, I'm going to have to start calling her Kaylani all the time so she recognizes it. Otherwise, she may grow up responding to Poopymonster, which probably isn't the best nickname to take through life. The other part of this is I haven't exactly established what my name is yet. Well, not officially at least.

Daddy seems to make the most sense. Besides the fact that it would lend a bit of credibility to "The Daddy Diaries", it's also closest to what I'm used to. After all, I grew up calling my Dad, Dad. Daddy is just a cuter way of saying it, and maybe I actually used to call my Dad, Daddy, but I'm not really sure. I'll check with my Mom on that one. So besides Daddy, the other option on the table is Papi, which of course is the Spanish version of Daddy, and what Mommy is used to.

Mommy actually wants to go by Mami. For those of you who've read a majority of my posts, you may have noticed a few instances where I actually use Mami instead of Mommy, but it's rare because I forget. I can't even remember to use Mami in a post, let alone remember to use Papi in front of Kaylani. Plus, if I do decide to go by Papi, do I have to change the name of the blog to "The Papi Diaries?" That doesn't sound right, so it'd have to be something like "The Papi Posts," which just doesn't flow as well as "The Daddy Diaries." One point for Daddy.

As far as what's easier for Kaylani, Papi sure seems like it's easier to say then Daddy. Okay, I guess the ending "e" sound is the same, but don't you think "pah" is easier than "dah?" I feel like the "puh" sound of the "p" will come first, and since Mami and I are fighting over whose name she'll say first, we've got to make it as easy as possible. One point for Papi.

Another factor to take into consideration is the difference factor. If we're out on the playground, or in public somewhere, and I hear someone say "Daddy," I'll have to look to make sure it's not Kaylani who's calling me. But if Kaylani calls me Papi, then public confusion may not be an issue (unless we're in Puerto Rico or Florida). That's two for Papi.

But I have to go back to the part where Daddy just comes naturally to me. More than 50% of the time, when I (or even Mami) are talking to Kaylani, we refer to me as Daddy because that's just what comes out first. In certain conversations, I'll go back and forth between Papi and Daddy, but that's gotta stop. So since Daddy comes out the majority of the time, chalk one up for Daddy.

We're tied at 2 points each and I'm out of points to make in either favor. It looks like no decision is going to be made tonight unfortunately, so I guess I'll have split personalities as far as Poopymonster is concerned for at least one more day. But if I don't figure this out soon, Mami is going to have a clear advantage in the name game, because no matter what, Mommy and Mami both sound the exact same to Kaylani. D'oh...or P'oh!

Oh, and here are pictures from the last two days including a few pictures with Uncle Tommy that we just took. Uncle Tommy and Auntie Gretchen are in town this weekend, so come back on Sunday to see pictures from their visit. Until tomorrow, Daddy/Papi out!

The early days...REAL early

Here's my first post into this blog. It's so early, that I don't even have a baby yet. I'm technically not even a dad yet so this shouldn't even be posted under "The Daddy Diaries." Should I be? Yes. Am I? No. Baby has decided that her due date (which was November 3) means nothing to her. I think I'm in for a big shock once she comes out. I'm ALWAYS on time...and I think that's about to change. I guess baby wants to set expectations early...REAL early. You think you're always going to be on time? Think again...Dad. That sounds nice. "Dad." I'm in for a big shock...but it's going to be worth it!