Failed Night Out

With Abuela in town for only a few more nights, we planned on taking advantage by sneaking out for a dinner alone. No highchair, no stroller, no variety of toys to distract Kaylani, and no having to move silverware away from her until finally giving in and letting her play with them. We had planned on heading to our favorite restaurant, Sotto in downtown Princeton, to celebrate Mommy's birthday a day late. We even had a plan for our plan that involved putting Kaylani down by 8pm so we could eat sometime before 9pm and be back well before 11pm. We planned on enjoying our dinner without having to look at a monitor or listen to see if Kaylani was crying. What we didn't have was a plan for when everything went differently from our plan.

I got home from work around 6:30pm which was during Kaylani's dinner time. Word on the street was she was being a bit fussy today, so after struggling to get Kaylani to eat all 4oz of her dinner tonight, it was time for bed. By 7:15pm, Mommy was ready to nurse Kaylani, and by 8pm, Kaylani was passed out and ready to be put into her crib. So far, our plan was going perfectly. But that's as far as we got. After 15 minutes, Daddy went in to check on Kaylani for the 2nd time. With a little bit of gentle forehead stroking, Kaylani was practically asleep, but not asleep enough to get out of the room without her making a stink out of it. Literally. Kaylani got so upset that she pooped.

Poop is the one thing that gets Daddy to give in and pick her up after she's been put down for the night. So after changing her and some gentle swaying, back into the crib she went. The crying commenced immediately, and after another 30 minutes and 2 trips in, things were looking grim for our hopes at dinner. At 9pm, Daddy went in for the 5th time tonight and tried to calm her down so she would fall asleep. And just like the other 4 times, she would quiet down, close her eyes, and try and get comfortable as long as Daddy had a hand on her. But once the hand disappeared, the crying came back.

At 9:15pm, Mommy and Daddy pulled the plug on our night out. Besides the fact that Kaylani still wasn't asleep, it was also too late for us to go out because we're old and lame. Instead, we headed down to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers and settle in for our nice dinner "alone" in the kitchen while staring at the monitor and listening to Kaylani cry, just like every other night. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as we sat down to take our first bite of food, Kaylani fell asleep. Just like we planned.

I'm convinced Kaylani knew we were trying to go out. As calming and reassuring to her as I tried to be to get her to sleep, apparently she saw right through me. She cried for 1.5 hours, and kept staring at the door and the monitor to make sure we knew she was looking for us. She calmed down only when I was there, and cried all the way until we sat down for our dinner. She knew. She had to. Why else would she have been crying?

Anyways, we're planning on trying again tomorrow night. One thought is to put her in her crib by 7pm, but knowing our luck, she'll pass out right away and wake up at 4am like she did 2 days ago. Hopefully tomorrow night will go better. If not, tomorrow will just be failed night out #2.

A Day Away

Saturday marked the first official day away from Kaylani. We didn't pull one of those Daddy leaves like he always does for work. This time it was a legit Mommy and Daddy are BOTH leaving for a few hours so you're on your own Kaylani.

Daddy left for Tommy and Gretchen's wedding at right around 11:50am. Before I left, I drove Kaylani through town for her first nap of the day just to make sure she was on the right track for the day. Due to some morning timing issues (due to a very relaxed breakfast buffet), Daddy and Kaylani drove around until 11:15am, even though Daddy wasn't showered or ready to meet Tommy and the gang at 12:00pm.

Shortly after Daddy left, Yin Yin and Yea Yea arrived and took Kaylani to lunch so Mommy could get ready for the day. That's when the separation anxiety kicked in...for Mommy. It can be summed up by a short phone call to Daddy where Mommy fought through some tears and got out one simple question:

"How do you leave every day for work?"

Daddy often hears about how I don't understand what its like to be home with her all day (which I don't), and how its easier for me to be at work (which it is). But the one thing Mommy never understood was the pain I felt inside when I had to leave Kaylani each morning until now. Just like Daddy did, after a little bit, Mommy adjusted okay. When Kaylani got back from lunch, Mommy nursed her one last time and then was off to meet Daddy at the wedding.

The wedding itself was gorgeous and it turned out to be a nice, sunny day after raining for the previous three. Ceremony was beautiful, music was great, drinks were flowing, and Mommy and Daddy enjoyed Tommy and Gretchen's wedding thoroughly for the first 5 hours. After that, Mommy started to get a little anxious to go home and see our little girl, so we made our exit right near the end.

When we got back to the hotel, Kaylani was about to take her 2nd bottle (2oz) of milk. She ate her lunch and dinner with Yin Yin and Yea Yea, took 2 naps (totalling 3 hours), and had a great time with them. And to make sure that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't think twice about leaving her again, she nursed for 15 minutes and then went right to sleep without a peep.

All in all, our first day away went as smoothly as we could have hoped. We got to enjoy Tommy and Gretchen's wedding, and Kaylani got to enjoy spending time with Yin Yin and Yea Yea. Who could ask for anything more? Or the better question is, when can we do it again?

Dads, Not Babysitters!

After much anticipation, my official Dad-Blogs shirt finally arrived. And conveniently it arrived just in time for the very first extended Daddy-Daughter Day. Today, Mommy went to get a 90 minute massage from her favorite massage place (Hillsborough Massage Therapy) to redeem part of her Mother's Day gift, which meant that Daddy and Kaylani (and Padrino Tim) were alone with Kaylani for a whole 4 hours. Sure that doesn't sound a lot, but it was by far the longest Mommy has been away. But I wasn't babysitting today, I was Daddy-ing (Fathering? Papi-ing? I dunno, but it wasn't babysitting).

To many of you, babysitting may sound like the right term for what I did today, but it's not. Babysitting is what someone does when they just watch Kaylani. But as Kaylani's Dad, it's about more than just watching Kaylani. I'm her Dad, which means that I'm going to love her, take care of her, teach her, guide her, and be there for her whenever and wherever she needs me. Some babysitters do that, but still not the way Dad does.

I could get into a whole rant about the way society views Dads as babysitters, but there are a host of posts already on the topic over at Dad-Blogs. So instead, let's recap just how Daddy and Kaylani's day went today. It started at 5:30am when Kaylani decided she wasn't going to wait until noon for Mommy to leave and for Daddy-Daughter Day to start. But since she's still not a pro at the sippy cup (and because Mommy and Daddy had grand visions of her nursing then going back to sleep until 7am), Mommy nursed her and Daddy-Daughter Day started at 6:30am. From then until 8am, we played with blocks, blankets, other blocks, animals, curtains, the exersaucer, the jumper, and finally a doll before it was time for cereal. After that, it was Mommy's turn to nurse her before Kaylani's first nap.

The real Daddy-Daughter time (without a safety net) came at noon, and was comprised of some more blocks, some more jumping, lunch (mmm..green beans), some flying (courtesy of Padrino Tim), and then a nap in the car as Daddy the realtor showed Padrino Tim the neighborhoods. And to round out the time, Kaylani got to see Auntie Meredith and Katie before a trip to Panera for lunch. Soon enough it was time to say bye bye to Padrino Tim and Auntie Meredith, and hi to a new, refreshed, relaxed Mommy. After a trip to the park and some time in the swings, we were back home for a nice dinner of carrots and prune juice (poor baby needs to POOP!)

Now Kaylani is doing the one thing that Daddy can't help with...nursing. As hard as I tried today to do everything just like Mommy, I couldn't bring myself to get her to latch on (which was probably for the best since we avoided something like this happening). So Daddy-Daughter Day is over for now. Soon enough she'll be a pro at this whole sippy cup thing which means Daddy-Daughter Day could be extended even longer. I hope it's soon because I had a blast. Plus, I've got another Dad-Blogs T-shirt to wear, and these times are perfect to show them off.

Much overdue, but check out pictures from the last many days. They include pictures from today obviously, as well as her first Veggie Puff, real apples, and everything else that's happened. And don't forget to click over to Dad-Blogs to read my latest Sports IllustraDad post on the rules of golfing with a baby! Oh, and lastly, if you want your very own Dad-Blogs "Dads, not Babysitters" T-shirt, buy one now from The Dad-Blogs store! They make great Father's Day gifts! Just saying.

Meet the Family

Daddy's family has spent a bit of time with Kaylani since she was born, but it's been a little bit since we've all got together, especially for a big event like this weekend was. It was Yea Yea's birthday party at our house so that meant a few of our family friends from Jersey were going to come around to celebrate. Now while all of that seems good and well, it's been awhile since Kaylani has been exposed to "strangers," and she's definitely different now.

I think it's the 6 month mark that babies start to develop (or show) their separation anxiety from their parents, so it wasn't a real surprise to us to have Kaylani cry a bit around other people. But at the same time, it's kinda sad to see her cry when she sees Yin Yin and Yea Yea. After she took a nice 3 hour nap she was definitely friendlier, but there's gotta be a better way to help her adjust.

Maybe we'll have to start letting go our our little girl just a little bit. Maybe we need to have a baby swap with some of our friends so she gets used to being held by someone other than us. Maybe we need to let someone else take care of her for awhile to help her adjust. Or maybe we continue to spoil her and never let her go because she's our little girl. Tough call. For now, we'll sleep on it. But maybe tomorrow morning will be Yin Yin and Yea Yea's turn to take care of Kaylani. Gotta start somewhere!

Daddysitting

I've been alone with Kaylani for an hour or two all by myself before. And usually during that hour or two, Kaylani would sleep and I would sit and watch TV. It was a pretty sweet life. But today, I had Kaylani for 3 hours by myself. And those 3 hours happened to stretch from the end of one nap time straight through dinner. All in all, it wasn't so bad.

As a little treat for Mommy, we decided that once Daddy got home from work she would go get her hair cut (and colored). Kaylani had been sleeping for about an hour by the time I got home so the plan was to wake her up and let her nurse before we lost Mommy. And just like anyone waking up when they're not ready to, she cried. Not off to the best start.

She ended up nursing just fine so it was the beginning of Daddy-Daughter time, and this time, we didn't have our safety net. The first 20 minutes or so were spent wrapping up some loose ends from work while Kaylani laid on the bed next to my desk and stared at me. Then, Kaylani spent about 20 minutes in her exersaucer before she started to look pretty tired. I mean, she had been awake for almost a full hour by this point.

After Kaylani spent 20 minutes in her pack and play trying to fall asleep on her own (she didn't and screamed the whole time), Daddy gave up and moved her to her swing. She fell asleep instantly, which meant that Daddy could spend the next 1.5 hours finishing up his taxes and watching the Yankees game. That left about 30 minutes before Mommy would be home, so we started cooking dinner (frozen pizza for Mommy, pre-seasoned salmon for Daddy, and barley cereal for Kaylani). When Mommy got home, dinner was almost ready, and Kaylani was almost done eating. Everything looked great...especially Mommy's hair!

So Daddy's first real shot at babysitting alone went as well as it could have. Part of me thinks that it's because we have the easiest baby ever, but the other part of me thinks that it was all a ploy between Mommy and Kaylani so that Mommy could leave us alone more often. I'm okay with either right now, but whenever Kaylani has one of her bad days and we don't have our safety net, we're going to need a Daddysitter for Daddy the babysitter. Any volunteers?

Even if you don't want to Daddysit, check out these pictures from the last couple of days. And don't forget to check back over the weekend. I'm sure we'll have some great pictures from Easter!

Babysitter Try-outs - Round 1

September 24th. Giants Stadium. Mommy, Daddy, and U2 (and maybe you too if you have tickets). It sounds like a perfect evening, but you may notice there's one key component missing - Kaylani. When Daddy got tickets, he expected joy and excitement to be the response he got from Mommy since she's never been and always wanted to. Instead, he got a much different response.

The first words out of Mommy's mouth were "what about Kaylani?" It's a fair question, considering that Kaylani has never been away from both Mommy and Daddy for more than 30 minutes (and that was just so Mommy could come relay a message to Daddy at the pool in PR during nap time). Finding a babysitter was not one of Daddy's top priorities, especially when the concert wouldn't be for almost 6 months. It was, and has been, on Mommy's mind for quite some time though.

We have plenty of babysitters to choose from, and all of them have significant babysitting experience. There's Danika who lives 10 minutes away and has raised 2 daughters already. There's my Mom who would be willing to come down to visit and watch Kaylani for awhile. There's Neha who would love to babysit (although there's a chance she may try and steal Kaylani instead). Or there's all of Kaylani's friends parents in the area who would be happy to babysit (in exchange for their own night out some other time of course). Experienced options were not the issue.

When choosing a babysitter, it's important that Kaylani feels comfortable. And the only way we can judge Kaylani's comfort level would be for her to spend more time with her babysitter. So today, we took the first step, or round 1 in our babysitter try-outs. We headed over to Danika's for lunch, and after about an hour, Kaylani looked pretty tired so we issued a challenge to Danika. If she could get Kaylani to sleep, she would pass a major checkpoint in our search for a babysitter. We didn't think there was any chance since Kaylani has never fallen asleep with anyone other than us. Danika, loving a challenge, gave it a shot and wouldn't you know it, had Kaylani asleep in less than 10 minutes.

Now, you would think this would be a joyous occasion from Mommy, but like the U2 reaction, it was mixed. Instead of complete joy that we were one step closer to having some time to ourselves, it was a little sad that our little girl was moving on. It was one less thing that Kaylani needed from us. But at the same time, it was one step forward in Kaylani's independence, which is definitely a step in the right direction. It's also possible that she was just so tired from not sleeping last night or that Danika drugged her with Benadryl, but I guess we'll stick with the independence thing for now.

In any case, looks like we have our first babysitter past round 1. We're not sure what will be in our round 2 interviews, but one of these rounds will certainly involve a bottle. Sleep is one thing, but eating is an entirely different story. For all you potential babysitters, I'd study up now. But I bet it'll end up being harder for Mommy to handle whenever it happens. Oh well, seeing U2 should fix that.