I've always thought that we were busy people. We always had something to do, whether it was a local trip to Target or Stop&Shop/Wegman's, or a weekend trip up to Boston. It just always seemed like we were on the move. Looking back now I can see how much downtime we actually had before Kaylani.
Just to preface this, I'm not complaining that life is different now that we have Kaylani. I just can't believe how having a baby changes your perspective on certain things. I look at some of our friends and can't believe that just a few years ago (or even last year) we were as "free" as they are still.
Gone are our days of sleeping in, sitting around all day and watching TV/movies, going to the movies (was actually never a big fan anyways since it involved sitting still and staying quiet for 2 hours at a time), driving off to run errands whenever we so chose, or having dinner out on a whim. Now, they're replaced with early morning errands, naptime, quiet time around the house, and quick dinners at home before an early bedtime for everyone.
And instead of heading to bars to watch a game, or wandering around a mall or shopping for hours, we take trips to the park or to the zoo, or other family friendly environments where we can make a quick escape if necessary and don't have to worry about disturbing people if Kaylani happens to be cranky. Everything else is put on hold, or squeezed into the limited amount of time we have to ourselves, or more specifically, times when Kaylani is napping.
And when it all comes down to it, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have no real desire to sit at a bar all day anymore (even if the Yankees were on). I find sitting in front of the TV for more than 2 shows boring now (and tiring since we only do this after Kaylani is already in bed). TV during the day would mean Kaylani was watching too, and there are much better ways to help her develop. Making sure she gets her sleep and then taking her around to see new things and new places are what our lives have become about.
We got everything we asked for, and there's no way I'd want anything else. Well, except maybe a few hours a night this weekend to watch the Yankees and the Red Sox go at it. Good thing 2 of the games are night games and she'll be asleep already. Plus, watching baseball on TV is a good way to help her develop, right? No? Just me?
Showing posts with label free time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free time. Show all posts
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
On the outside looking in...
It's a sad day here in Daddyville. Today, we made an executive decision to rotate nights of putting Kaylani to bed individually, and tonight is Mommy's turn. Actually, we made that decision last night after Daddy came home from baseball practice. Apparently once Daddy said good night and went to practice while Kaylani was still nursing, it caused a serious disruption in the bedtime routine. Instead of nursing calmly, then going to sleep by herself, Kaylani stared at the door and cried for 30 minutes without finishing nursing because she was looking for Daddy. Finally, after being picked up by Mommy and soothed for 30 minutes, she fell asleep with an occasional whimper.
Some may think that not being involved in the bedtime process would be a good thing for me. After all, it basically means that Daddy is "free" for 30-45 minutes to do whatever he wants while Mommy and Kaylani are closed up in Kaylani's room. But that's not how I look at it. Instead of "freedom", I'm in "confinement." The fact that "confinement" actually means I can be anywhere but Kaylani's room doesn't matter because it means I'm on the outside looking in.
Right now, I'm sitting on my living room couch staring at Kaylani's monitor while writing this post just to feel like I'm still part of bedtime. I can't actually see anything except an empty crib since the camera angle is only of her crib, but it's the closest I can be. When Kaylani has to burp or is done nursing, she won't be able to look over and smile at me like she usually does. So sadly, she can't see me, and I definitely can't see her.
But this is one of those things that just needs to be done to help Kaylani in the long run. Crying when one of us isn't there isn't a good thing. It makes for restless nights for everyone involved and is a habit that we really want to break now. We've been a big fan of our bedtime routine for quite some time now, but the problem with routines are that they're too routine. And with other commitments creeping in now and then, a routine just isn't going to cut it anymore. It's too sad to watch Kaylani go to bed sad. This is good for her. At least we hope it is.
Tomorrow night will be Daddy's turn to put Kaylani to sleep by himself. It'll be a little different since Mommy will still have to nurse her since Kaylani still won't take a bottle and Daddy still isn't producing milk. But after she's done nursing, we'll do the hand off and Daddy will say good night all by himself without Mommy there. I have a feeling tomorrow night will be even harder than tonight, but that's tomorrow. I'm still not over the feeling that I'm an outsider. So tonight, I guess I'll just keep staring at the monitor trying to catch a glimpse of my little girl. Maybe, just maybe, she'll see me too.
Some may think that not being involved in the bedtime process would be a good thing for me. After all, it basically means that Daddy is "free" for 30-45 minutes to do whatever he wants while Mommy and Kaylani are closed up in Kaylani's room. But that's not how I look at it. Instead of "freedom", I'm in "confinement." The fact that "confinement" actually means I can be anywhere but Kaylani's room doesn't matter because it means I'm on the outside looking in.
Right now, I'm sitting on my living room couch staring at Kaylani's monitor while writing this post just to feel like I'm still part of bedtime. I can't actually see anything except an empty crib since the camera angle is only of her crib, but it's the closest I can be. When Kaylani has to burp or is done nursing, she won't be able to look over and smile at me like she usually does. So sadly, she can't see me, and I definitely can't see her.
But this is one of those things that just needs to be done to help Kaylani in the long run. Crying when one of us isn't there isn't a good thing. It makes for restless nights for everyone involved and is a habit that we really want to break now. We've been a big fan of our bedtime routine for quite some time now, but the problem with routines are that they're too routine. And with other commitments creeping in now and then, a routine just isn't going to cut it anymore. It's too sad to watch Kaylani go to bed sad. This is good for her. At least we hope it is.
Tomorrow night will be Daddy's turn to put Kaylani to sleep by himself. It'll be a little different since Mommy will still have to nurse her since Kaylani still won't take a bottle and Daddy still isn't producing milk. But after she's done nursing, we'll do the hand off and Daddy will say good night all by himself without Mommy there. I have a feeling tomorrow night will be even harder than tonight, but that's tomorrow. I'm still not over the feeling that I'm an outsider. So tonight, I guess I'll just keep staring at the monitor trying to catch a glimpse of my little girl. Maybe, just maybe, she'll see me too.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Kaylani made me a procrastinator
Before Kaylani was born, I used to be prompt and get things done early. I used to plan out my every move and execute on a strict schedule. I was never a procrastinator before Kaylani. And I used to tell the truth, unlike now since I've actually always been a procrastinator. The difference between then and now is that then I used to be able to make up for it in my "free time." Now, "free time" is something I only say in quotations (and make the hand gesture for quotes when I say it in person too).
There were only a few times prior to Kaylani that being a procrastinator has bit me in the butt. But since then, it seems like I'm being bit in the butt enough times to have to tap into Kaylani's supply of Desitin, but they've never been serious things. Sure I have a few things in the living room that need to be moved down to the basement, and sure my garage could use a cleaning, but those aren't major things. And yes my grill and patio furniture are still outside and could be moved into my shed, but they are made to be outdoors. And maybe I've had to work late (or real early) before deadlines at work a few times, but that's usually when I'm at my best anyways. But this morning, being a procrastinator left me out in the cold...literally.
It snowed early today. So early that most people would refer to it as last night. But since I'm usually in bed and asleep by 10pm instead of staying up past midnight, it's early. We got a decent amount of snow too. Probably around 4", followed up by some nice freezing rain to top it all off. I know that's nothing compared to those of you a bit further North, but for Central Jersey, it doubled the amount of snow we've received so far this year. 4" isn't a lot to shovel off my driveway, so I wasn't concerned about that. But our house is a corner house, and corner houses have a whole lot of sidewalk to clean. So 4" of snow across many feet of driveway and sidewalk is a lot.
Now you might think I procrastinated shoveling this morning, which would have led to a messier time with the rain that we got later in the day, but that's not it. I was up early with Kaylani (around 6am) and I was outside by 8am and finished shoveling in just over an hour. The procrastination part was because I actually have a brand new snowthrower that throws up to 1700lbs of snow a minute up to 30' away in 21" wide lanes. The problem is that since I bought it (which was before Kaylani was born), it's been sitting in its box in the garage. And because I'm a procrastinator and because there were no big snow storms, it meant that my time was better spent looking at, playing with, or holding Kaylani instead of getting things ready in case we had some significant snow fall.
So, Kaylani didn't make me a procrastinator, but she sure doesn't help it at all. After all, if you were me, wouldn't you rather play with Kaylani instead of moving things around or setting things up? That's what I thought. Speaking of procrastinating, I waited until the last minute to post pictures last night and never actually did it, so they're here tonight instead. And now, I'm going to take the snow thrower out of the box. Or maybe not. There's no more snow on the way for at least a few more days anyways.
There were only a few times prior to Kaylani that being a procrastinator has bit me in the butt. But since then, it seems like I'm being bit in the butt enough times to have to tap into Kaylani's supply of Desitin, but they've never been serious things. Sure I have a few things in the living room that need to be moved down to the basement, and sure my garage could use a cleaning, but those aren't major things. And yes my grill and patio furniture are still outside and could be moved into my shed, but they are made to be outdoors. And maybe I've had to work late (or real early) before deadlines at work a few times, but that's usually when I'm at my best anyways. But this morning, being a procrastinator left me out in the cold...literally.
It snowed early today. So early that most people would refer to it as last night. But since I'm usually in bed and asleep by 10pm instead of staying up past midnight, it's early. We got a decent amount of snow too. Probably around 4", followed up by some nice freezing rain to top it all off. I know that's nothing compared to those of you a bit further North, but for Central Jersey, it doubled the amount of snow we've received so far this year. 4" isn't a lot to shovel off my driveway, so I wasn't concerned about that. But our house is a corner house, and corner houses have a whole lot of sidewalk to clean. So 4" of snow across many feet of driveway and sidewalk is a lot.
Now you might think I procrastinated shoveling this morning, which would have led to a messier time with the rain that we got later in the day, but that's not it. I was up early with Kaylani (around 6am) and I was outside by 8am and finished shoveling in just over an hour. The procrastination part was because I actually have a brand new snowthrower that throws up to 1700lbs of snow a minute up to 30' away in 21" wide lanes. The problem is that since I bought it (which was before Kaylani was born), it's been sitting in its box in the garage. And because I'm a procrastinator and because there were no big snow storms, it meant that my time was better spent looking at, playing with, or holding Kaylani instead of getting things ready in case we had some significant snow fall.
So, Kaylani didn't make me a procrastinator, but she sure doesn't help it at all. After all, if you were me, wouldn't you rather play with Kaylani instead of moving things around or setting things up? That's what I thought. Speaking of procrastinating, I waited until the last minute to post pictures last night and never actually did it, so they're here tonight instead. And now, I'm going to take the snow thrower out of the box. Or maybe not. There's no more snow on the way for at least a few more days anyways.
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