Family Time

Other than the weekends, spending time as a family is tough. By the time I get home most days, its usually 6:30, which is about an hour before Kaylani is in bed and asleep (ideally). That leaves enough time for me to join Kaylani and Mommy for dinner (normally in progress already), watch an episode of Dora, and give a bath and read some books before saying good night. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is and it isn't all at the same time.

When it comes down to it, I'll take an hour, or even 30 minutes, or even 10 minutes if I can only make it for storytime or to say good night. Some nights I miss the "routine" all together, and others I miss the mornings, so weekday time is limited. But, the time we do get together is great, and I'm hoping its developing into something special for Kaylani and Mommy too. On typical days when I get the full hour or more, we sit around the table and I ask Kaylani how her day was. If she went to school, she likes to say "good. I play play play with friends." And if she went to music class, its along the lines of "good. I dance and sing "helloooo." And if its a gym class day, she goes with "good. I run around and play." But the best part is that she's started to join in and now asks "Papa, how your work? Your work good?" Cutest thing that makes my heart melt.

After dinner, it gets even better. Kaylani automatically washes her hands, and then runs over to the couch, sets up 2 pillows (one to sit on and one to lean against), and plops herself there with her milk. Then she asks for a blanket, and for Mama and/or Papa to sit and watch TV with her. The next 22 minutes are just cuddly, quiet, TV time with the family. And to top it off, Kaylani dances for 2 minutes at the end, then goes a little crazy climbing on us or jumping around before its time to go upstairs.

Bath time is always an adventure, and usually starts off with naked Kaylani "being chased" from her bedroom to the bath. Then there's all types of splashing, swimming, toys, sillyness that goes on. With a quick brush of the teeth, and a towel off, its a naked run back to the room for pajama time! Storytime is another adventure with anywhere from 1-3 books being read 1-3 times each (depending on the days mood). Next is lights out, hugs and kisses, then song time (usually by Mommy).

All of that is our normal weeknight routine. In fact, its our normal nightly routine, but it means that much more on weeknights since its the only time I get with her. So whether its an hour, a minute, or an entire day, I'll take what I can get when I can get it, because nothing beats family time! Click here to see pictures of just some of our family time moments over the last two months.

Ever dress a fish?

I'm not a big fisherman. In fact, I'm not any type of fisherman. I went deep sea fishing once on a boat with my Dad when I was probably around 10 and I ended up getting seasick and throwing up off the side of the boat the entire trip. Then, to make matters worse, we got fined $50 a fish for the 2 measly fish that my cousin caught because they were too small. Then, on top of all of that, the cop took the fish for us. What a terrible trip.

So while I didn't take Kaylani fishing, and probably never will, I've decided that getting Kaylani ready for bed is like trying to hold a fish. Not a frozen fish or a dead fish, but an actual live fish. Kaylani squirms so much when we try and get her into her pajamas that if she was a fish and we were on a boat, she'd be back in the water and I'd be standing there looking over. Then, to top it all off, I'd probably get fined for letting a fish go.

Okay, maybe I'm stretching this whole fish thing a bit far, but she really is squirmy. She's so squirmy that I've given up on the changing table and I now change her exclusively on the floor while she's pinned down with my left leg. Sure she's crying most of the time because she hates when "the man" holds her down, but it's the only way to keep her still. The problem is that I can't get her pajamas on when my fat leg is over her. That means I've gotta let her loose.

Kaylani sleeps in full, long sleeve, footie pajamas that button all the way up (or down) through both legs. I can usually get her sleeves on just fine, but the rest is a challenge. Getting her to stay on her back doesn't work. Getting her to stay still and not flip over doesn't work. Trying to button 12 buttons between both legs and all the way up top while she's on her belly doesn't work. Trying to button her up while she's crawling away from me doesn't work. After about 10 minutes of flipping her over, buttoning a button, pulling her back to me, buttoning a button, holding her in a bear hug, buttoning a button, and so on, it's finally done. Finally she's ready for bed and released into the wild for a few minutes before the routine continues on.

Thankfully tonight's routine is over with and she's asleep peacefully in her crib. Tomorrow night we'll do it all over again. Maybe I'll head downstairs and turn on the Animal Channel or Discovery Channel to see if I can find a good fisherman's show. Or maybe I'll just keep trying to dress the cutest little fish I know.

Riding off into the sunset

Every night, we try and do quiet activities before bedtime. Whether it's a song, a book, or maybe even listening to a prayer from a doll that Titi Mayra Lee bought us, it's always something to relax Kaylani just a little bit. Then, she'll nurse for 30-40 minutes with Mommy and go quietly off to sleep. It's a good routine and it's been working well for us, but it just didn't have that Western flair to it.

At the end of old Western movies, the hero would ride off into the sunset on their trusted horse. The music would fade out, the picture would fade out, and a happy ending would be had by all as the movie and the story concluded. It all seemed so nice that I thought I would replicate something to that effect for Kaylani's bedtime routine.

Tonight, we decided to mix it up a bit and ride off into the sunset with Kaylani. I think it went pretty well since she's nice and tired now so maybe we'll keep this new routine up. Or maybe we should go back to our old song/book/prayer routine. What do you think?

On the outside looking in...

It's a sad day here in Daddyville. Today, we made an executive decision to rotate nights of putting Kaylani to bed individually, and tonight is Mommy's turn. Actually, we made that decision last night after Daddy came home from baseball practice. Apparently once Daddy said good night and went to practice while Kaylani was still nursing, it caused a serious disruption in the bedtime routine. Instead of nursing calmly, then going to sleep by herself, Kaylani stared at the door and cried for 30 minutes without finishing nursing because she was looking for Daddy. Finally, after being picked up by Mommy and soothed for 30 minutes, she fell asleep with an occasional whimper.

Some may think that not being involved in the bedtime process would be a good thing for me. After all, it basically means that Daddy is "free" for 30-45 minutes to do whatever he wants while Mommy and Kaylani are closed up in Kaylani's room. But that's not how I look at it. Instead of "freedom", I'm in "confinement." The fact that "confinement" actually means I can be anywhere but Kaylani's room doesn't matter because it means I'm on the outside looking in.

Right now, I'm sitting on my living room couch staring at Kaylani's monitor while writing this post just to feel like I'm still part of bedtime. I can't actually see anything except an empty crib since the camera angle is only of her crib, but it's the closest I can be. When Kaylani has to burp or is done nursing, she won't be able to look over and smile at me like she usually does. So sadly, she can't see me, and I definitely can't see her.

But this is one of those things that just needs to be done to help Kaylani in the long run. Crying when one of us isn't there isn't a good thing. It makes for restless nights for everyone involved and is a habit that we really want to break now. We've been a big fan of our bedtime routine for quite some time now, but the problem with routines are that they're too routine. And with other commitments creeping in now and then, a routine just isn't going to cut it anymore. It's too sad to watch Kaylani go to bed sad. This is good for her. At least we hope it is.

Tomorrow night will be Daddy's turn to put Kaylani to sleep by himself. It'll be a little different since Mommy will still have to nurse her since Kaylani still won't take a bottle and Daddy still isn't producing milk. But after she's done nursing, we'll do the hand off and Daddy will say good night all by himself without Mommy there. I have a feeling tomorrow night will be even harder than tonight, but that's tomorrow. I'm still not over the feeling that I'm an outsider. So tonight, I guess I'll just keep staring at the monitor trying to catch a glimpse of my little girl. Maybe, just maybe, she'll see me too.

Stand Up, Sit Down, Cry, Cry, Cry!

We had a full day today. Okay, a full half day since it didn't start until 2, but Mommy, Daddy, Yin Yin, Yea Yea, and Kaylani all went shopping today. We headed over to the Jackson Outlets to see if we can take advantage of cheap deals on even cheaper clothes. The past few journeys out with Kaylani had gone off as well as they could, but this trip had a slightly different twist.

First of all, the Outlets are outdoor so we had to walk outside to get from store to store. Normally, not bad, but when it's 40 degrees out, it poses its own little challenge. We bundled her up nice and tight every time we stepped outside, and only had to stop once to feed her in the 5 hours we were there. From a baby-outing standpoint, it went great. She slept the entire time, cried when she was hungry, and went back to sleep. No diaper blowouts, no tantrums, just sleep.

So, in anticipation of what I'm sure will be a 1 on the scale of 1 to sleep tonight for Mommy and Daddy, I present to you, Jon's 10 Step Sleep routine (a spin on the Johnson's 3 Step Sleep Routine found here).

Step 1: "Bubbles Away to Dreamland" - Taken straight from the Johnson's routine. Every other night, we give Kaylani a nice tub bath (tonight was only the 2nd time, so before her umbilical cord came off, it was sponge bath time). She gets nice and clean, a quick towel cuddle, then dried off.

Step 2: "Massage Your Way to Sweet Slumbers" - Also straight from the Johnson's routine (although we use Aveeno Baby cream instead of the Johnson's Bedtime lotion - sorry Jbaby team)! After she's all lotiony, she gets pulled into a onesie (seriously...pulled), and her nightgown.

Step 3: "Quietly Off to Sleep" - Last step in the Johnson's routine, and we adhere to it. Mommy will read her a few books (headlined by Buenas Noches Luna), Daddy will soothe Kaylani with the sweet sounds of a keyboard typing away (currently happening), and Mommy will hum song like tones at Kaylani while she nurses.

Step 4: "Sway Like the Wind Blows" - The last step in the Johnson's routine sounds nice, but it doesn't work, so we added on. After gliding in the glider until she's almost asleep, the trick is to get to your feet and still keep that same movement for Kaylani. This usually causes her to stir, but not wake up...yet.

Step 5: "Swaddle Like a Duck" - Not so much like a duck, but here's when Kaylani goes in her crib and gets swaddled up real tight. The key is to keep a hand (preferably Mommy's) on her chest so she thinks she's still bundled next to her. It's like asking for someone to put a finger down when you're tying a bow, except instead of a finger, it's a hand, and instead of a bow, it's a baby.

Step 6: "Quiet Please" - Here's where the "shushing" comes in. The next few minutes are spent with rhythmic "shhhhhh" noises that I believe are to simulate sounds within the womb. Don't quote me on that, but I do know it works.

Step 7: "Run Away!" - If she's asleep, or calm, here's where we make our exit. We head to the bedroom, and then turn on the monitor to see if all's calm on the bedroom front.

Step 8: "So, do you come here often?" - When step 7 lasts less then 10 minutes, it's time to pick Kaylani back up and repeat Step 4. On a good night, Step 4 can be done standing with a side to side sway (which is much easier than a back and forth sway while standing...unless you're drunk).

Step 9: "Sit Down and Shut Up" - When standing Step 8 doesn't work, it's time to get back into the glider. If we're lucky, we don't need to unswaddle her, because that would take us all the way back to Step 4 instead of just going through the motions. Either way, if this doesn't work, then it's Step 8, Step 9, Step 8, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Step 8...you get the point.

Step 10: "Baby is a Four Letter Word" - Hopefully it doesn't come to this, but if all else fails, you call for reinforcements, which is Mommy's boob. Sorry to be so graphic, but hey, it works. I try not to resort to this for at least an hour so she can get some rest.

Alright, well sorry for the long post but that held me over pretty well. It's time for me to follow Step 4 for real. Hopefully I'll only have to do it once tonight...