We made each other

Since the day Kaylani was born, there have been many times when we'll look at her and go "we made you!" Today being Father's Day made me realize that I didn't just make Kaylani, but she actually made me. Without her, today wouldn't have nearly meant as much to me. Sure it meant a lot already since I love my own Dad (Happy Father's Day Yea Yea!) and would celebrate with all the other dad's I know, but this year I could join in on the celebration, thanks to Kaylani.

The day started off great with Kaylani sleeping in until 7am (only because she woke up at 4:30am and Mommy nursed her and put her back down). Then, after a quick breakfast with Jes and Brian, we headed off to a post-wedding brunch for Tommy and Gretchen. To end out the day, we made a 5 hour drive home that took us 8.5 hours and 4 stops because Kaylani was over tired and sick of being in her carseat (luckily a quick "human swing" session at a rest stop put her to sleep for the last 2.5 hour stretch). And even though it sounds like a long, tiring day, it didn't matter because this was the best Father's Day ever (and yes, it was my first Father's Day ever). But in all seriousness, I couldn't be any happier being a Dad. To top it all off, I got an unbelievable gift from Kaylani (and Mommy).

For the past 4 weeks Mommy has been hiding in our office doing something at night. With Kaylani not napping, Mommy was forced to do all her "work" at night. Every night she would be in the office for 2+ hours at a time and I had no idea what was going on. This morning I was let in on the secret. Turns out that Mommy had been working on our first album. Not just Kaylani's first album, but actually OUR first album ever. And it wasn't just a collection of pictures. The amazing part was that it chronicled our first 7 months together with Kaylani through pictures and through excerpts taken straight from this blog. I was speechless as I flipped through the pages. In fact, I'm still in awe of the time and thought Mommy put into making this for me on behalf of Kaylani. It involved going through all 226 of my posts to date, plus the 11K+ pictures that we've taken in that timeframe. Then, she handpicked the pictures, the right quote, and added some color. Incredible.

My words are failing to do this any justice, so instead, here are 6 spreads from the 30+ that were in the album. These pictures won't even be enough to showcase the album the way it deserves, so if you want to see the real thing, come on over. It's proudly displayed on our coffee table. All I can say is that I feel like I'm the luckiest Dad ever. Happy Father's Day to the rest of you!

A Day Away

Saturday marked the first official day away from Kaylani. We didn't pull one of those Daddy leaves like he always does for work. This time it was a legit Mommy and Daddy are BOTH leaving for a few hours so you're on your own Kaylani.

Daddy left for Tommy and Gretchen's wedding at right around 11:50am. Before I left, I drove Kaylani through town for her first nap of the day just to make sure she was on the right track for the day. Due to some morning timing issues (due to a very relaxed breakfast buffet), Daddy and Kaylani drove around until 11:15am, even though Daddy wasn't showered or ready to meet Tommy and the gang at 12:00pm.

Shortly after Daddy left, Yin Yin and Yea Yea arrived and took Kaylani to lunch so Mommy could get ready for the day. That's when the separation anxiety kicked in...for Mommy. It can be summed up by a short phone call to Daddy where Mommy fought through some tears and got out one simple question:

"How do you leave every day for work?"

Daddy often hears about how I don't understand what its like to be home with her all day (which I don't), and how its easier for me to be at work (which it is). But the one thing Mommy never understood was the pain I felt inside when I had to leave Kaylani each morning until now. Just like Daddy did, after a little bit, Mommy adjusted okay. When Kaylani got back from lunch, Mommy nursed her one last time and then was off to meet Daddy at the wedding.

The wedding itself was gorgeous and it turned out to be a nice, sunny day after raining for the previous three. Ceremony was beautiful, music was great, drinks were flowing, and Mommy and Daddy enjoyed Tommy and Gretchen's wedding thoroughly for the first 5 hours. After that, Mommy started to get a little anxious to go home and see our little girl, so we made our exit right near the end.

When we got back to the hotel, Kaylani was about to take her 2nd bottle (2oz) of milk. She ate her lunch and dinner with Yin Yin and Yea Yea, took 2 naps (totalling 3 hours), and had a great time with them. And to make sure that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't think twice about leaving her again, she nursed for 15 minutes and then went right to sleep without a peep.

All in all, our first day away went as smoothly as we could have hoped. We got to enjoy Tommy and Gretchen's wedding, and Kaylani got to enjoy spending time with Yin Yin and Yea Yea. Who could ask for anything more? Or the better question is, when can we do it again?

Best Baby EVER!

I may be slightly biased, but I have the best baby EVER. Sure most parents say that about their baby, but I really mean it. Kaylani's pretty easy most of the time, but yesterday, she solidified herself as best baby EVER. Just how do you earn the title of best baby EVER you ask? Well, it starts with sleep, but encompasses much, much more than that.

After only crying for 20 minutes in a metal, narrow crib in a brand new place for her, she slept for 9 hours. Then, she took a 1 hour nap in her carseat after breakfast, a 1 hour nap in her carseat after lunch, and then a 30 minute nap in her carseat (sensing a pattern here yet?) before we headed to the wedding rehearsal/welcome party dinner. Those naps were the perfect length (well, maybe the 30 minute one could have been longer if Doug hadn't woken her up and scared the living bejeezus out of her when he got in the car) and helped us make it through a long day, but we were only getting started.

The welcome party was held at Swan River in Denisport, MA and started at 7pm. Now, everyone knows that Kaylani's usually in bed by 8pm, so you can bet we were a little worried to be just arriving at a restaurant when normally it would be Kaylani who was sitting down for dinner at that time (and by dinner, I mean nursing). And when you add the fact that there were ~100 people with ~40 of them wanting to say hi to and possibly hold Kaylani, you've got yourself a potentially scary situation, especially with this whole separation anxiety thing. THIS is where Kaylani earned the title of best baby EVER.

Not only did she smile and go with people (after 10 minutes), but she ate her dinner, she nursed, and most importantly, she fell asleep (in her carseat). At around 8:30pm, our time was up. As expected, it was right when the food came out. So Daddy downed his cup of chowdah in one gulp and took Kaylani and her carseat out to another room. After about 10 minutes of playing "human swing" or what I like to call "ow my arm and my back", she was asleep. ASLEEP! With ~100 people talking, music, and waiters/waitresses buzzing by. Not only that, but she stayed asleep all the way until we got home around midnight. Sure she missed out on hanging out with our friends, and she even missed my awesome wedding speech, but it's okay because she was ASLEEP!

To top it all off, she went right back to sleep when we got home after we changed her and nursed her. And the really amazing part? She woke up at her usual 5:30am time, played by herself in our bed for an hour, and then nursed herself back to sleep. It's 7:15am right now and my baby is sleeping. Best...baby...EVER!

Oh, and when I said its about more than just sleep, I was lying. I mean, it is, but the fact that she played nicely, was quiet, cute, cuddly, smiley, and everything else just doesn't matter when she naps well, sleeps in public places, and goes to sleep quietly and by herself at night and in the morning. The real question is...what the heck am I doing awake if everyone else is sleeping? Oh well, guess it's time to get ready for the wedding. T-minus 4.5 hours before I leave, and 6.5 hours before Mommy leaves Kaylani with Yin Yin and Yea Yea for 8 hours so we can enjoy the wedding. It'll be Mommy's first time away for that long, and Kaylani's first time alone without both of us. Sure hope she's still the best baby EVER today...for Yin Yin and Yea Yea's sake!

I Loved Her First

I got in my car after a long day at work today and the first thing I heard was the beginning of "I Loved Her First" by Heartland and a woman thanking the station for playing it since she was getting married this weekend. It instantly wiped away any lingering thoughts I had about my long day, and put me in a different place for the first 4 minutes of my drive. For those of you who don't know, that's the song that I've already designated as the Father-Daughter dance song at Kaylani's wedding.

I've been reluctant to think of Kaylani in the future because time is already going by so quickly, but it does happens occasionally. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy will talk briefly about what she'll be like as a toddler, or Daddy will make a remark about how Kaylani won't date until she's 30, but it doesn't come up often since we think 6 months is far away, let alone 6, 16, or 26 years. But when that song was playing over the radio, I really connected with it today. It was probably because the song talks about those moments felt at the very beginning, and that's something that's so fresh in my mind right now (and hopefully forever). So for a 4 minute period tonight, Daddy allowed himself to think of Kaylani getting married and it made me a little sad to be honest.

I wasn't sad that Kaylani was getting married because I do hope that she does to someone that loves her as much as I love Mommy. I was more sad that I'd be losing my little girl to someone else. Sure it's selfish to think that way, but you can't really blame me because she's only 3.5 months old now. Now when she's much older and I'm still thinking selfishly, then you can blame me. But for now, it's my little girl that I'll be losing.

I'm sure every parent wishes the best future for their children, and I know I'll be just like every other parent in that regard. But I just can't imagine what I'll be feeling whenever that day comes. I can't even imagine what it will be like when Kaylani can roll over from her back to her belly, or sit up, crawl, or even walk, and those things all will likely happen within 1 year!

Anyways, I'm sure I'll post again sometime about how I'm deathly afraid of what's going to happen when Kaylani is a toddler, or worse, a teenager, but for now, I'm not going to think anymore about Kaylani getting married. It's way too soon and I'm being a bit ridiculous. But to end this post, here's the chorus (and video) of "I Loved Her First" that put me in this mindset to begin with:

I loved her first

I held her first

And a place in my heart

Will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

Her First Production

It's over. Kaylani's been baptized, and it's over. It sounds terrible to say, but I'm just glad it's over. And the funny part is, the actual baptism part wasn't the hard or tiring part. She actually behaved real well during the entire Mass/ceremony. It was everything else that led up to that point that was the hard part.

It actually started out a few weeks ago when we scheduled her baptism. With most of our friends and family living out of town, there were certain logistical challenges with having Kaylani be baptized at our church in NJ. So after weeks of planning and scheduling, we got to a good place (thank you Mom and Dad for voluntarily staying at a hotel) and everyone was squared away. We had a Mass scheduled with our favorite Priest (Father Vince) and a place to host a brunch at (our favorite restaurant, Sotto Ristorante in Princeton). All we had to do was get to Church, and then get to brunch on the day of the baptism, and we even had a plan for that.

We were going to wake up at 7am, shower and get mostly dressed (not fully in case of spit up), then wake Kaylani up around 8:00, nurse her, and put her in her beautiful handmade dress from Puerto Rico (thank you Abuela)! And then, she would nurse again before getting into the car, which she would fall asleep in on the way to 9:30 Mass at Church, which we planned on getting to by 9am so we could make sure she stayed asleep and was okay. That was the plan.

We actually woke up at 7:25am, showered and started to get ready before Cousin Alisha and Rohan woke up and required some attention. Mommy was ready enough to wake Kaylani up around 8:30 and start to get her ready. By the time we were even remotely close to get out the door, it was more like 9:15, and we ended up being at Church by 9:25am. Father Vince gave us the 30 second version of the 10 minute prep course on what we had to say and when we had to say it, and we headed in to present Kaylani to our Church.

The Mass itself went great, except for a few awkward moments. First, while Mommy, Daddy, Kaylani, Godfather Tim, and Madrina Maria were standing at the Altar in the front of the Church being introduced, Madrina Maria was mouthing "The Flash, The Flash" to Titi Glendalys to make sure she had the flash on while she was taking pictures. The funny part was that Titi didn't even have Maria's camera, but I'm sure anyone who saw Maria thought she looked pretty funny. Then, when Father Vince asked us "and to the parents, what do you ask of the Church?", Mommy and I looked at each other at a loss of words because we didn't remember what our line was (although we're pretty sure it was left out of the 30 second version at the onset). Luckily, Father Vince prompted us to say "Baptism" (duh!) and we moved past it. Kaylani even behaved when they poured water on her head, and basically slept through the entire Mass.

Brunch also went off without a hitch (although I think we overwhelmed the restaurant by seating 40 people at the same time and placing individual orders). At the end of the day, what I took away from all of this was that in 40 years when I let Kaylani get married (that's right, I said 40), this is what her wedding day will be like. We'll get up early, scramble to get everyone ready, and get off to the Church in time. And I'm guessing that we'll also be cutting time a bit close on that day too, but on that day, it'll be her day and her day alone, so time won't matter nearly as much.

Here are some pictures from the Mass, the brunch, and also of Kaylani dressed in a NY Giants outfit that she'll unfortunately never wear again. And before we move on, we must thank Godfather Tim for spending his birthday with us down in NJ and at the Baptism, so Happy Birthday Tim and thank you! As for the rest of us, it's on to the next big production, which will be her Moon Yuet next week in Boston (a traditional Chinese welcoming ceremony). So enjoy the pictures of today, and for all of you that shared it with us, thank you. And for those who did not, we hope this made you feel a part of the day as well. Until next time...