That's just the way it is

It's finally Friday. Not only does that mean the week is finally over, but it also means it's time for another round of Fatherhood Fridays over at Dad-Blogs. Don't forget to check out the great posts over there...but not until you're done here of course. Don't worry, you'll be done soon, because I'm pretty done myself.

It's been one heck of a week over here. 5 long days filled with back to back to back to back to back meetings, which left actual work to be done in the few minutes in between, or late at night. Add on 5 long days of teething and you get one heck of a week over here. Did I say that already? By all definitions, this would be considered a bad week. Long work days mean shorter time with Kaylani. Long, sleepless nights mean less energy to handle a long work day. As a one off, not so bad. But when repeated for an entire week it starts to wear on you.

I'm actually not even going to complain about the number of meetings or the amount of work I had (and still have) because in this economy, any work is good work. The worst part of all of this is that it's taking away from the time I spend with Kaylani, and also the way I spend my time with Kaylani. Instead of relaxing and having a great time, I spend an occasional hour in the morning with her, which is usually just me talking to her while I get ready to leave. Then, by the time I get home it's usually holding her for a few minutes before she has to get up to bed and get some sleep. And after a few more hours of work, it's off to bed for Mommy and Daddy so we can get up in a few hours to start it all over again.

My ideal view on Fatherhood would be to spend quality time with Kaylani by playing with her, teaching her, loving her, and watching over her for as long as I can. Sure there are days that I wish I could spend all day with her (in addition to weekends) and do all of those things on a regular basis, but that's not something I can do. The other, less glamorous part of my journey into Fatherhood is to be a provider for both her and Mommy. And if having a lot of work means that I have a job, and having a job means that Kaylani is taken good care of by Mommy, then that's a part of Fatherhood that I'm willing to accept.

So while going to work and spending less time with Kaylani isn't ideal for me, that's just the way it is. I still wouldn't trade my version of Fatherhood for anything in the world. Well, maybe a foolproof get rich scheme or a lottery jackpot, but that would only change the working part of Fatherhood. I'd still find the time to play with her, teach her, love her, and watch over her. Hmm, maybe I should play the lotter. Hey, you never know. All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right?

The Juggling Act

Work-life balance is an ideal state for any working parent. The life part of that equation typically means spending time with your family. In that sense, my work-life balance has been great because I'm able to spend the time I need at work and the time I need with my family. So leave it up to me to throw another variable into the plan.

I started coaching baseball a few weeks ago for the Lawrence Little League. My team, the Lawrenceville Fuel, is made up of about 11 kids between the ages of 10 and 12. I volunteered to help out as an assistant coach because I love watching baseball, I love playing baseball, and most of all because I love teaching baseball. I spent a few years helping out my brother's team at Trevor Day School, but I wanted to do more. And now that we've settled down in our new home, when the opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it.

It wasn't until recently that I've started to wonder if I've taken too much on. I haven't heard of anyone talk about work-life-baseball balance, so I may be entering uncharted territories. For most of the other coaches in the league, baseball and life go together since their sons and/or daughters are playing with them. Kaylani's still a bit young to be in the league, so for now, I'm on my own and baseball is something outside of life. And like baseball, it's how far outside that matters.

Luckily, Mommy is pretty supportive of me coaching since she knows how much I love the game. Just like when I went back to work, it's an adjustment for me to make sure that I'm spending quality time with Kaylani since I can't make up for it in quantity. Coaching takes up about 3-4 hours a week of my non-work time, which doesn't sound like much, but it is. It sure feels like a lot of times when I miss things like putting Kaylani to sleep like I did tonight.

There's no way I'm going to give up coaching because I've committed to it already, so I guess I'm complaining about nothing. But when the kids are goofing around instead of trying to learn baseball, it really makes me question if it's worth sacrificing an hour I could have spent with Kaylani. Maybe in 5 years I'll coach Kaylani and not have to sacrifice anything, but until then, I just hope that it is worth it. And the only way to make that happen is to win a championship. Go Fuel!

Working Late

One of the reasons we moved to Lawrenceville about a year ago was so that Daddy could work closer to home. With our house being less than 10 minutes from the office, I'd say we did a pretty good job at accomplishing that goal. And now that we have Kaylani, having my office so close to home allows me to maximize my time at work AND my time with Kaylani...most of the time.

On normal days, I'll be home by 5:45 or 6pm at the latest, which gives me a good 1-2 hours to spend with Kaylani before she gets tucked away quietly in her crib. Back when Kaylani was just over a week old, I didn't think that 1-2 hours would be enough time for quality Daddy-Daughter bonding time. Over the last 16 weeks though, I've made the best of it and learned to maximize quality, not quantity (and make up for the quantity part on the weekends).

But today, I ran into my first "late" day in a long while. There are days when I take work home with me and get to it after spending my time with Kaylani (and Mommy), but today, was one of those days that I couldn't just take it home with me. I had a 4pm meeting at one of our partner agencies in NYC today that ran late. And since NYC is a solid hour train ride away (plus the 10 minute drive), I didn't get home until 7pm. This is going to make me sound real old (and spoiled) but 7pm is late!

Luckily for me (and unluckily for Mommy), Kaylani actually took a later nap then usual and woke up at 6pm, which meant her bedtime is being pushed back an hour. Breaking her routine isn't the best thing to do, but I gotta say I'm okay with it. After all, it gave me an extra hour to spend some time with her, and that's exactly what I needed after a long day at the office.

I know I'm one of the fortunate ones to be close to home. Not everyone gets to spend as much time with their kids and have a great hours and a great job, so for that I'm thankful. I can only imagine what it's like to go through this every day, but at the same time, I'm very glad I don't have to. Days like today make me realize that maybe my work-life balance isn't as off as I think it actually is. I guess the question is, is there actually such a thing as work-life balance?