SAHD Week: Day 2

So here we are. Day 2 of SAHD week, which is anything but sad. It's not sad, but it sure is tiring. I think Mommy put it best today when she saw me looking completely drained around 3pm. "It's tiring when your brain doesn't work all day right?" It was a funny thing to say, and could even be seen as an insult to stay at home parents all over, but it's true. At least in our case.

You would think we had nothing to be tired about. Mommy passed out last night around 10:30pm, and I fell asleep shortly after (with the Yankees game on) around 11:30pm. We both slept the night until Kaylani woke us up around 7:30am. Do the math and it means we got 9 and 8 hours of sleep respectively, which for me, is more than I would get if I was working. The morning went by quickly with breakfast (blueberry pancakes) and then some play time before nap time (which thankfully was much easier today with Kaylani falling asleep after 20 minutes). During nap time, we met with a basement contractor to see about getting things finished (hoping to make a decision and get ourselves a basement before her 1 year birthday).

Conveniently, Kaylani slept the entire visit and right up until it was time to meet Sonia and Aadi for lunch before Gymboree class. Gymboree was a lot of fun, with Kaylani crawling and walking (with our help) up and down some padded mats/ramps/toys, and wasn't that tiring since she clung to us for awhile instead of running off by herself. After class, we made a quick trip to Whole Foods, and then it was home for a yogurt and a nap. Thankfully again, Kaylani went down like a log and nap time was on. That's when Mommy made the "tiring without the brain" comment to me.

Looking back on it, we really hadn't done that much. We stayed at home, Kaylani napped once, we drove to a few places to have lunch and errands, and then that was it. It was 3:30pm and I was exhausted. Normally at work, it'd have to be a really tough day for me to be wiped out by 3:30pm (or a really bad day). At work, I could be in meetings, on the phone, writing a presentation, or digging through data for hours on end, and I'd still truck on through until 5 or 6pm without a problem. Sure I'd be pretty tired when I got home, but today was a different type of tired.

I think it comes down to being the type of person that can handle being a stay at home parent, or stay at home anything for that matter. Maybe I'd get used to it over time, but so far, 2 days has not been enough to adjust to being a stay at home dad. Again, I love spending the time with Kaylani and Mommy, but I just don't think I'm cut out for it. Mommy didn't think she was cut out for it either, but she's much better at it (or much more used to it). What I'm trying to say is, kudos to all of you stay at home people out there. And to Mommy especially, thanks for doing what you do. Kaylani and I both appreciate it more than you'll ever know!

That's just the way it is

It's finally Friday. Not only does that mean the week is finally over, but it also means it's time for another round of Fatherhood Fridays over at Dad-Blogs. Don't forget to check out the great posts over there...but not until you're done here of course. Don't worry, you'll be done soon, because I'm pretty done myself.

It's been one heck of a week over here. 5 long days filled with back to back to back to back to back meetings, which left actual work to be done in the few minutes in between, or late at night. Add on 5 long days of teething and you get one heck of a week over here. Did I say that already? By all definitions, this would be considered a bad week. Long work days mean shorter time with Kaylani. Long, sleepless nights mean less energy to handle a long work day. As a one off, not so bad. But when repeated for an entire week it starts to wear on you.

I'm actually not even going to complain about the number of meetings or the amount of work I had (and still have) because in this economy, any work is good work. The worst part of all of this is that it's taking away from the time I spend with Kaylani, and also the way I spend my time with Kaylani. Instead of relaxing and having a great time, I spend an occasional hour in the morning with her, which is usually just me talking to her while I get ready to leave. Then, by the time I get home it's usually holding her for a few minutes before she has to get up to bed and get some sleep. And after a few more hours of work, it's off to bed for Mommy and Daddy so we can get up in a few hours to start it all over again.

My ideal view on Fatherhood would be to spend quality time with Kaylani by playing with her, teaching her, loving her, and watching over her for as long as I can. Sure there are days that I wish I could spend all day with her (in addition to weekends) and do all of those things on a regular basis, but that's not something I can do. The other, less glamorous part of my journey into Fatherhood is to be a provider for both her and Mommy. And if having a lot of work means that I have a job, and having a job means that Kaylani is taken good care of by Mommy, then that's a part of Fatherhood that I'm willing to accept.

So while going to work and spending less time with Kaylani isn't ideal for me, that's just the way it is. I still wouldn't trade my version of Fatherhood for anything in the world. Well, maybe a foolproof get rich scheme or a lottery jackpot, but that would only change the working part of Fatherhood. I'd still find the time to play with her, teach her, love her, and watch over her. Hmm, maybe I should play the lotter. Hey, you never know. All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right?

Just 1 more hour...

Since we got Kaylani back to sleeping more than 3 hours on her own a few weeks ago, things have been okay. Not great, but okay. I know I shouldn't be complaining since she's been sleeping 8-9 hours straight every night (that part has been great), but its the mornings that are only okay.

Kaylani is usually in her crib and asleep by 8pm on a normal day. Add 9 hours to that and it means that Kaylani has been waking up at approximately 5am for the last couple of weeks. 5am is early. I don't care how you look at it, but 5am is EARLY. Even when I was pulling all nighters in college watching infomercials studying, 5am was still early. 3 or 4am was late, but 5am was early. Anyways, you get the point.

One thought was if she went to sleep a little later, then she would wake up a little later. That theory went down the drain when Kaylani went to bed at 9pm, and woke up at, yep, 5am. Then, instead of just being awake, she was awake, tired, and cranky because she only got 8 hours of sleep. And when Mommy and Daddy are up at 5am too, tired/cranky baby is not a great way to start the day.

Over the past 5 days or so, my body has started to adjust to waking up at 5am. I've even been awake enough to hear her first babbling sounds instead of her ear piercing screams that she lets out when she's bored of herself. But every day while changing her 10lb diaper and watching the sun come up, I ask her why she won't sleep for just 1 more hour.

The way I look at it, an hour isn't a lot to ask for. She doesn't even need to sleep during it. All she has to do is lay in her crib and talk to herself (quietly) until the clock hits 6am (or 7am, but I don't want to get greedy). Out of nowhere today, Kaylani listened. She started talking around 5am, and let out a few of her standard cries of "HEY! COME GET ME!" but then, she went silent. Mommy and I both picked up our heads to stare at the monitor after a few minutes to see if she was messing with us, but she was asleep again. Amazingly.

At 6:30am, I woke up...luckily. I hadn't set my alarm the night before because who needs an alarm when you have a rooster baby sleeping in the next room. I looked over and she was still sleeping. I woke Mommy up and asked her what she did to our baby, and she said nothing. Groggily I started getting ready for the day. I was all thrown off since my day had been starting with a baby cuddle, playtime, THEN my turn to get ready, but not today. I was dressed and ready to go, even caught up on sports, blogs, and tweets, and Kaylani still wasn't up.

At 7:30am, Kaylani finally woke up. 11.5 hours after she fell asleep, or 2.5 hours after her morning cry and normal wake up time. Luckily for me it was 10 minutes before I had to leave for a long day in NYC, New Brunswick (where I got my picture taken with Spike Lee after winning a James Burke Marketing Award for my work on AMBI), and then a Little League playoff game to see if we made it into the final round or not (we didn't) so I got to hold her for a few minutes. Maybe this is the start of her sleeping a little bit later each day now. Maybe we're about to get just a little more sleep each morning now. Or maybe this was a one time thing that is just going to confuse us going forward. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. After all, when Kaylani asks me for 1 more hour of sleep many years from now, I'll probably only let that happen every now and then too.

Using it all up

Kaylani's not even close to being able to play sports, but I'm not sure I'm going to have enough in me when she is ready. For the second straight day I was at the fields coaching until 10pm. And tonight, we had a back to back doubleheader that started at 5 (we ended up splitting the games by the way).

At least today I got to spend the hours before the game with Kaylani. That didn't make being away from her at night and during her bedtime routine any easier. I really shouldn't be complaining since some of the league administrators were at the field from 7am to 10pm, but
that's them. I don't know when they started that crazy schedule, but I'd guess that it wasn't when their kids were 6 months old.

If I keep this up, I might be burnt out of organized sports by the time Kaylani is 7 months (okay, maybe a bit after that). Luckily Kaylani is sleeping at night again (5 straight nights over 10 hours!) so I'm able to get some rest. But for now, I'm mentally tired, I'm physically tired, and I'm just plain out tired. So goodnight for now. Tomorrows another day. A Little League free day too!

Stick a fork in me

It's been basically one long week of family activity. Between Mommy's family being here Saturday to Wednesday, and then Daddy's family being here Friday to Sunday, we've had a lot of things to do in the past 8 days. It's all been fun and it's always great to spend time with family, but now it's time to relax.

Combine the amount of family activities we've had with the possibility that Kaylani is going through her 6 month growth spurt about 2 weeks early, and you've got yourself one tired Mommy and Daddy. But, when all is said and done, it's quite possible that Kaylani is more tired than we are. And to show us how true that may be, she's passed out right now in her carseat in her room. It's 9:45pm and we just rolled in from our last family dinner. We're not just past Kaylani's bedtime anymore. We're WAY past it.

And you know what? With the way this last week has been, we're way past Mommy and Daddy's bedtime too. The original plan was to try and stay up and watch the last Yankees-Red Sox game, but since it looks like they're currently tied and it's only the 5th inning...forget it. Daddy's going to sleep now and won't wake up for at least an hour (assuming that's when Kaylani realizes she's in her carseat and not her crib). So stick a fork in this weekend cuz we're ALL done.

Why can't I sleep?

It's well known that having a baby significantly alters your sleep routines. With them waking up and being hungry, or wet, or just uncomfortable, it's no surprise that us parents would be awake also. So if those are the things that wake Kaylani up, then why is it that I find myself as the only person awake in the middle of the night lately?

The past few days have started early. First it was 5:30am, then it was 5am, and the latest was 4:30am. You would think Kaylani's schedule would be similar, but she's been waking up at 8:30am or 9am on each of those days (after waking up at 2am or 3am for the first time). So no baby awake to take care of meant that there was no reason to be awake. But I was.

I'm not sure what exactly is going on with me, but I can't blame Kaylani. I've had sleeping issues dating back to my college days. Sure the college sleeping issues were related to playing computer games, drinking, or watching pointless infomercials...I mean, studying (forgot my parents read this), but they extended past college too. Luckily I didn't use to need a lot of sleep to function. That's only partially true today.

Today, I can get by on 4 or 5 hours of sleep as long as I have my coffee and my family, both of which give me some sort of energy. And I could probably get a few more hours of sleep if I went to bed at 8pm like Kaylani instead of 11pm, but then when would I watch things like Chuck, 24, The Amazing Race, and Hell's Kitchen? So there's no real answer (okay, no real acceptable answer) to solving my recent sleep issues.

As I'm sure you realized by our customary picture that today is Kaylani's 5 month birthday (the sign says Happy Birthday in Chinese obviously). I can't believe it's been 5 months already, but she has grown so much recently that it's more than believeable. It almost feels longer than 5 months (in a good way). Now that she's older, maybe I can learn from her by staring at her sleeping through her monitor when I wake up. She might just be able to teach me something.

Anyways, I just got home from baseball practice and am exhausted, so Happy 5 Month Birthday to Kaylani, and feel free to celebrate along with us by checking out her latest pictures. It's time for me to go watch some mindless TV. What'd you think I was going to do? Sleep?

Seat's Taken

It's been 52 hours since we left home on Friday night to head up to Boston for the weekend. And of those 52 hours, Kaylani spent 23 of them in her carseat. To put it in Asian/mathematical terms, she spent nearly 50% of her time away from home (okay fine, it's 44%) in her carseat. 12 of them are accounted for in the drive between NJ and Boston. But where did the other 11 come from?

We drove around quite a bit while we were in Boston, but everyone we visited was within a 15 minute car ride. So the fact that we made 5 different stops, most of them being back to back instead of roundtrip, totals to just about 2 hours. That leaves about 9 hours that Kaylani spent in her carseat, and none of those 9 hours were actually in a car.

Being away from home meant that we were limited to the places we could put Kaylani down. Sure she could lay on a couch or a bed or even a blanket on the floor while we were out, but there was little possbility that she would have napped in any of those places. That meant Kaylani's naps while we were out (which was all the time) were in the comfort of her carseat. And I use the word "comfort" in the loosest of terms because each time went something like this:

Go in the carseat and look around. Get out of the carseat and get held by people. Get real tired and get put back in the carseat. Cry a bit and get swung around in the carseat. Time to go and get put back in the carseat. Fall asleep in the car for about 5 minutes. Get woken up because we're at our next destination and start the cycle again.

On the rare occasions Kaylani would fall asleep because she was so tired from us screwing with her nap schedule, it would be in her carseat. Since it's not particularly comfortable and she's used to moving around in her crib, each nap lasted no more than an hour in length, and more often than not, lasted about 5 minutes. So 9 hours of Kaylani's weekend were spent napping, swinging, or just sitting in her carseat. Sounds like a blast right?

After Kaylani finally fell asleep on our ride home (after Mommy nursed her because she cried for the first 30 minutes), she woke up 2 hours later which was great, except we were still 2 hours from home. We did our best to distract her, but when she cried the last 40 minutes, even after we stopped for a quick dinner because she was crying already, we didn't complain. I would have done the same thing if I was in her position. But now we're home and we promised Kaylani that she wouldn't have to go back in her carseat again...until Tuesday.

Anyways, I'll try and post pictures from the weekend tomorrow. It's pretty late for all of us and I have to wake up Mommy and Kaylani and put them both to bed. Hopefully I can do it gently since Kaylani and Mommy are both sleeping while nursing. Luckily for Kaylani, she gets to sleep in her own crib tonight. Hopefully she'll actually sleep for a long time so Mommy can sleep in her own bed tonight too. But whatever happens, it's still better than being in a carseat.

4:09am

When we sent out Kaylani's birth announcement via email, one of the emails we got back simply said "Congrats! And welcome to 4:09am (the time she was born) - it's a time you'll grow very familiar with." I hadn't really grown familiar with 4:09am, or really anytime in the early morning yet. Sure, I had paid it a visit every now and then, but nothing that I would label as familarity. Until a few days ago that is.

Lately, she's been falling asleep just fine on her own at night, so that part of sleep training has worked. But the frustrating part is that she's been waking up every 3 hours on most nights, and only sleeps 6 hours at a time as the exception. We'd much rather have it work the other way like it used to, but there's nothing we can really do about it right now (although we're sure gonna try!)

The funny thing (not funny "haha", but funny "awww, that's sad") about Kaylani waking up after 3 hours is that it's usually only an hour after we've gone to sleep, or more specifically, an hour after Daddy has fallen asleep (it takes Mommy much longer to fall asleep). Also, Kaylani's cry after 3 hours of sleep isn't a full cry. It's more like a staggered cry that drags out over a long period of time. It goes something like "Wah..........wah......wahhh......wah..............wah"

So when Mommy has just about fallen asleep for the first time, she has to get up and calm Kaylani down or actually nurse her if she looks hungry or inconsoleable. Then, after another 2 to 3 hours, this all happens again. It's usually not until the 2nd or 3rd time before Daddy gets moving (typically between 3 and 5am). And whenever Daddy does finally decide to get his butt out of bed, it's like Kaylani knows it because she starts to play games.

Daddy will be halfway out of bed and towards the door when Kaylani stops crying. Conveniently, halfway happens to be right in front of the video monitor, so he can then stare at Kaylani who seems to be peacefully sleeping. Off comes the robe, and back into bed. And without fail, as soon as Daddy pulls the covers up over him, Kaylani cries again. Back out of bed, robe back on, and head towards the door again. And of course, silence...again.

This goes on for about 2 to 3 trips out of bed, or 10 minutes, which seems more like an hour when its early in the morning. But when she actually cries, Daddy goes to calm her, pick her up, rock her, bounce her, or whatever her until she falls asleep. Then, just to make sure she stays asleep and doesn't make a random cry to wake Mommy up, Daddy will head to his computer for a little bit to check his mail, read some sports, or play around on Facebook. And on days like today, by the time he's sure Kaylani is asleep, it's 5:45 or 6am, which is too close to the time he normally gets up to head back to bed.

I actually don't mind being up at 4am and staying up. Of course I'd rather be sleeping, but if I'm out of bed either with Kaylani or on my computer in the office, it means that Mommy gets a few hours of uninterrupted sleep which is important since she's the one that holds this family together. So if starting my day 3 hours early is what it takes, then that's what it will take. At least that's what it'll take until we figure out how to get her to sleep for 6-8 hours again. That's tonight's mission, which starts now (or more likely 3 hours from now).

Anyways, Kaylani's about to go into bed (late night for her!) and so is Daddy so that he can take the first shift and try something new with her. I'll let you know how our new plan is working in a few days, but in the meantime, here are pictures from the last 3 days. Enjoy!

No Sleep Makes Daddy Something Something

No sleep makes Daddy something something. Go Crazy? Don't mind if I do! Sorry, that was a Simpsons reference for those of you non-fans. But seriously, no sleep does make Daddy go a little bit crazy. It also makes Mommy go a lot bit crazy. And to be fair, it's not like we're getting "no" sleep, it's just that we're getting less sleep. More Mommy than Daddy, but still, less sleep all around. And less sleep (or "no" sleep), does make us just a bit crazy.

Well, it doesn't make us crazy necessarily but it does make us very much blah (again, more Mommy than Daddy). For the second straight night, Kaylani woke up every 2 hours and wanted to cry, to be held, to nurse, or just to fuss about for an hour before she would fall back asleep for more than 10 minutes. So for the second straight night, Daddy turned off his alarm 30 minutes early to try and help out at 6am. That's why Daddy was a bit blah today. Well, that and the fact that he had to shovel snow again this morning manually because he still hasn't opened his snowthrower. Mommy was a lot blah because Mommy was the one who got up with Kaylani at 11, at 2, and at 5. And Mommy was the one who had to nurse Kaylani each time.

We really shouldn't be complaining because we did get 12 weeks of good sleep from Kaylani, and that's a lot more than most people with babies that I've talked to. And we also shouldn't complain because she usually stops crying as long as one of us is near her, so at least she doesn't cry for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. So don't consider this a complaint. Consider it more of a rant, or maybe just a blog post. Ah yes, a blog post. I'm not complaining...I'm blogging.

Anyways, we're hoping Kaylani snaps out of it tonight, and today, she did show signs that it was a possibility. She napped well, she played well, she even let Mommy and Daddy enjoy dinner at their favorite restaurant, Sotto, and didn't cry until we were about to leave. She also took a bath when we got home (with clear, not brown, water) and was calm the whole time. So hopefully, when she's done nursing in about 2 minutes, she'll sleep for way more than 2 minutes or even 2 hours. If she gets back to 6-7 hours of sleep, then she would make Daddy something something, and this time something something would not be the same as "go crazy!"

You've gotta turn it on first

What did people do before baby monitors were invented? Our baby monitor is probably one of the most used gift that we've received for Kaylani. We use it each and every night, and also several times during the day. Up until last night, we had no problems using it. The reception is great, the coverage is great, and even the sound-sensor mode works great. But we learned a valuable lesson last night. In order for the monitor to work right, you've gotta turn it on first.

For anyone who is jealous or upset that Kaylani sleeps too well for an infant or a baby, you'll be happy to know that she didn't sleep well last night at all. She was in bed by 8:30pm as usual, but she didn't stay asleep for 8 hours. She didn't even stay asleep for 6. She barely even slept for 3 hours before she woke up for the first time. So when the clock hit 11:30pm and she was awake already, it automatically became an unusual night for us.

It was around 12:30am before Mommy woke me up. She had been trying to get Kaylani back to sleep for an hour and was having no luck. Daddy tried for about 35 minutes and it was Mommy's turn again. Back and forth we went, with Kaylani falling asleep in our arms, but screaming out as soon as she realized she was in her crib alone again (which was about 10 minutes after she was put in there...or the exact amount of time it takes to get back to our bed and just about fall asleep). Around 2am, Mommy came into bed after Kaylani finally stayed asleep. 10 minutes passed and she didn't make a peep...maybe.

From 2am to 7am, Kaylani might as well have been in Vegas, because whatever happened in Kaylani's room stayed in Kaylani's room. Daddy's alarm was going off after it's 3rd snooze, and he was just about to get out of bed finally. All of a sudden, Mommy woke up and rolled over. It was at that moment that she realized that she didn't turn the monitor back on before coming back to bed. It happened lightning fast and heartstoppingly slow all at the same time. When Mommy flipped the monitor on, the cries came through instantly. I'm not even sure of the exact order of things that happened next because they happened at the same time. The monitor was barely in the on position before Mommy was out of bed and into Kaylani's room.

The next hour was spent holding and cuddling Kaylani to make sure she knew we loved her and didn't mean to abandon her. In truth, we have no idea how long she was crying for before we turned on the monitor, but if I had to guess, I wouldn't think more than 10 minutes. That's a complete guess, but based off the fact that her face wasn't completely red and her voice was definitely not hoarse. Mommy hopes that was true, but definitely fears that it was longer. Either way, the only thing we're sure of is that Kaylani was crying to herself for some amount of time.

We can't blame Kaylani for crying and screaming at the top of her lungs to try and get our attention no matter what the reason was. And we definitely won't blame each other for not being awake or alert enough to make sure that monitor was turned back on before passing out or for not being able to hear her. But there is an obvious thing to blame...WD-40. Some of you may remember the WD-40 incident, but it's because of WD-40 that Kaylani's door can't be as open as we would like. In fact, it can either be wide open, closed, or 3" open, and that's only when we use the binder clip and ribbon contraption that Mommy came up with to get the door to not be wide open or fully closed all the time.

So there are 2 things that we learned from last night into this morning. 1) WD-40 still sucks. And 2) you've gotta turn the monitor on for it to work. Consider them both, lessons learned.