Kaylani's Big Announcement

Sometimes it takes a minute to figure out what Kaylani is saying. It takes even longer than a minute if you're not around her often, but for the most part Mommy and I "speak Kaylani" pretty well. But a few months ago, it took me a couple of minutes myself, and I even had help.

It was the morning of September 23rd and Mommy told me I had to get Kaylani because she wanted to see me. Nothing unusual there, especially since I had gotten home late from NYC the night before and missed bedtime. So around 7:15am, I wandered into Kaylani's room. She stood up as usual, and started to say something. I, of course, went on with my usual routine of turning off her nightlight, opening her blinds, and turning off her humidifier. Still Kaylani was saying something that I couldn't make out so I kept on going.

First I said "Good Morning Kaylani" and asked her how she slept. I gave her a hug and a kiss and knelt down in front of her crib to talk to her. She kept saying "pajamas" and "I have girl" which I thought nothing of since Mommy had told me the night before that she bought Kaylani new pajamas with a little girl on them. But when I noticed Mommy standing in the doorway, and Kaylani looking at her and repeating "I have girl I have girl" while they both smiled, I started to think I was missing something. Boy was I ever.

Slowly it all started to come clear and I started to understand what Kaylani might have been talking about. I looked over at Mommy and she was smiling wide as could be and on the verge of tears. I looked at Kaylani again and looked at her harder to see if I understood correctly. I looked back at Mommy and she confirmed it. It was true. Kaylani was telling me in the clearest way possible. She had a little girl on her pajamas. And with that picture of the little girl were two words that she couldn't be happier to have learned: Big Sister. Kaylani was gonna be a big sister. She had a little girl on her pajamas, but Mommy had a little girl (or boy) in her belly. Wow.

Immediately all the feelings I had over 2.5 years ago when we found out that Mommy was pregnant the first time came flooding back in. But this time, It wasn't just 2 of us hugging and smiling. This time it was 3 of us. We're not entirely sure if Kaylani grasped exactly what being a big sister meant (she does now), but she was happy enough to just be a part of it. Thankfully we have some of this time documented through pictures you can see here. Also thankfully I didn't have a recently peed on stick stuck in my face as I was waking up like last time.

So here we are, 11.5 weeks into Mommy's 2nd pregnancy and its like its all new to us. She just had her 12 week ultrasound and we stared at the little baby inside her with what seemed like the same amazement as the first time. It was still hard to believe a little baby with a head, arms, legs, and a rapidly beating heart were inside there. Just a few weeks ago we saw a dot that was supposedly the same thing. Its grown so much but we have no concept of size even though we've been through this before. Guess we should re-sign up for those Babycenter newsletters to find out if we have a peanut, pear, squash, or some obscure fruit sized baby each week.

Already we've seen differences from the first time, like Mommy not being able to sleep for the last 7 weeks, or the nausea caused by the cooking of food, or of course from the presence of Kaylani. But the biggest difference is that I've got the blog up and running already and I plan on documenting the next 6 months and beyond in addition to the normal blogs on Kaylani. So stick around, keep on reading, and look ahead to May 29, 2011 with us, which is when all three of our lives will change again. And change is always good...especially in this case.

Time flies when you're turning 2!

At this very moment, 2 years ago, we were in the hospital in absolute disbelief at the little girl that we were blessed with. Now, 2 years later, here we are still in absolute disbelief that our little girl is two years old. And to top it all off, I almost ended up back in a hospital. Confused? Hear me out. Warning: Long overdramatic post ahead.

The past 5 days have been nothing but birthday birthday birthday. Since September, Kaylani has had to celebrate each of her friends birthdays, and kept saying "I'm not two yet. Almost two. I'm turning two. Not yet!" So when her birthday became next in the queue, she could hardly contain herself. On Thursday, she kept saying she wanted to sing "Happy Birthday" and blow out a candle. In fact, she insisted so much that Mommy gave in and had her "practice" blowing out a candle in a cupcake. On Friday, Primitos Alisha and Rohan (and Titi Glenda) arrived, and she got to open up and play with her first gift. Then, on Saturday, it was time for her birthday celebration. That's when things got out of control. And by things, I mean me.

Kaylani's birthday party was at Uptown Playaround, which is a giant indoor play area. They had a giant structure with nets, slides, rope swings, blocks, tunnels, and ramps to climb up and through. There was also a play house and kitchen, grocery store, basketball area, puppet theater, and block area. If that wasn't enough, there was a dance area, virtual floor soccer, and bubbles. And if you still wanted more, there was just a giant space to run around in. Might seem excessive, but for 14 kids, and 20 adults to boot, all that space was absolutely necessary. I fully expected the kids to have tons of fun. I was not expecting the adults to do the same.

While Kaylani's favorite areas were the calmer ones (kitchen, grocery store, giant play area), Daddy, Bat Bat and most of the other adults ran around through the net maze and down the super fast slides over and over. After an hour, it sure felt like I needed to be back in the hospital, but this time, it would have been me with the back pain instead of Mommy. But instead of going there, I toughed it out, had pizza and cupcakes with everyone, and finished up the big party.

To continue the celebration (and after a nap), Kaylani cut into a piece of Papa's heart and soul, which was transformed into a Dora shaped cake. After slaving over baking and decorating it the night before, and seeing it come out better than I could have imagined, we cut up Dora's head ("Dora got a head cut" according to Kaylani) and had cake. Guess its true that you can't have your cake and eat it too (which should really be "you can't eat your cake and have it too" but whatever).

Sunday, the fun continued with a trip to the Animal Kingdom Zoo with the cousins to feed monkeys, giraffes, donkeys, and more. Thankfully we distracted Kaylani from having more cake, and instead opened up a few more of her presents that we hid from the party. And then, finally, Monday rolled around and with it, Kaylani's official birthday.

Kaylani was born at 4:09am on 11/08/08, so I guess it was inevitable that she'd wake up shortly after that 2 years later (at 6:35am). Can't blame her since who doesn't remember being so excited that you just can't sleep on special days? And after Kaylani spent the whole morning playing with Alisha and Rohan, and then talking to Mommy about her birthday, she took a nice nap so she could spend the night with Papa, Yin Yin, and Yeh Yeh at home. That's when she got crazy again.

After the last of her gifts were opened, she focused on a few of them, like her new roller skates from Padrino Tim and Auntie Meredith, and her house from Yin Yin and Yea Yea. And with one more round of Happy Birthday to Kaylani and another cake (ice cream cake this time), it was time to call it a day, or a birthday that is.

All in all it was an amazing 5 days of celebration, which is fitting since its been an amazing 2 years ever since Kaylani was born. Not a day goes by that we don't thank God for how lucky we are to have such a wonderful family, but its still hard to believe that its already been 2 years. Luckily we've got plenty of pictures and even videos to remember most of the time. So check out our pictures from Kaylani's birthday, and some more from Halloween too. And if you've got 5 minutes, watch Kaylani's video "interview" with Mommy below. Its priceless, especially the end. Or click on her YouTube page to see her using her roller skates with the Paparazzi around. So for now, its time to say good night, and Happy Birthday Kaylani. Until next year!

Quiet Mornings

You will NEVER hear us complain about how Kaylani sleeps at night. EVER. In fact, we don't complain so much that it bothers some people. For as far back as I can remember, Kaylani has slept around 12 hours a night, and that's a GREAT thing. Well, at least we thought she was sleeping for 12 hours.

Most nights, Kaylani is in bed by 7:30pm, and asleep by 7:45pm. And most mornings when I wake up at 6:45am, she's still asleep. Then finally, around 7:15am, she's awake in her crib, which according to Mommy, is because I woke her up while I was showering. On days when I go to the gym much earlier, she sleeps in a little bit until 7:30am or so before she wakes Mommy up. And on weekends, when we're fortunate enough to not have anything to wake up for, we've slept in until 8am or even 8:30am. But somedays, like today, she wakes up at 6:15am, but is back down at 7am, awake again at 7:15am, but back down again at 7:30am. So the question is, what time does Kaylani wake up, and what does she do?

During the week, its easy to say that Kaylani seems to wake up between 6:45am and 7:15am. Since that's 5 days of the week, you'd think that she wakes up at that time on Saturday and Sunday too since I don't think she has concept of weekdays vs weekends yet. Some days, I've seen her asleep still at 7:30 or later (especially on days I have to leave for work early), so its not consistently the same time. But one thing we have noticed is that there are definitely days when she wakes up and sits there. Quietly. By herself. The scary thing is that we have no idea for how long.

We have a video monitor and a sound activated audio monitor in her room. In the mornings, the audio monitor rarely goes off, which means either she's not talking, or its not picking things up. Since it works fine when we test it, its not the latter, so we can fairly confidently say she's just not talking. So that leaves the video monitor. On the mornings we wake up on our own, looking at the video monitor always surprises us because she doesn't move much, at least not enough to be picked up by the camera.

When we look closely, she's typically laying there playing with her belly button, or sitting there staring out into her room. A few days ago, she was laying there and said "I see green light" to me when I finally went to get her (which means she was staring at the camera which has a green light on it). Other days, I'll walk in and she'll just stare through her crib at me and smile until I come closer. And then other days she'll proclaim that she's still sleeping, or that Grover/Telly/other animals in her bed are still sleeping. And on some days, she'll stand up and start clapping and proudly announce (and show) that her socks are on her hands (which is pretty impressive when I think back to the struggles of trying to put mittens on by myself as a child).

What's all of this mean? It means that our little girl is quite easily self entertained, but that doesn't stop us from feeling guilty for leaving her to her own devices for who knows how long. It also means she may not be sleeping for 12 hours since she could be doing all of this in the middle of the night too. Most importantly, it means that we're used to Kaylani being in her crib for 12 hours a night which allows us to watch TV, sleep, etc. And its that last part that might come back to bite us some day. But for now, we'll take what we can get because the way it is now means we're all happy, and we've got no guilt about that.

Speaking of happy, check out new pictures I posted in Kaylani's album. They're from the past month, and include a sneak peak at her Halloween costume. More to come from that! Happy Halloween!

Our Little Munchkin

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Completely true in my case. The way to a little baby's heart? Not entirely that far off, at least not for Kaylani.

Our little munchkin has been eating solid food for a long time now (which means more than half her life). And while there are some foods she likes (pasta, mac and cheese, french fries), there's only one that gets you straight to her heart: Munchkins. Maybe its the fact that she only gets one every now and then (or more likely the fact that they're made of pure sugar), but every time she has one, she's happy as can be.

The good thing about munchkins are that they're free...if you have a cute little girl with you at least. And if that same cute girl says "munchkin please" (albeit quietly most of the time because she's "so shy"), you sometimes get 2 munchkins. Actually, maybe that's the bad thing about them, or at least part of the bad thing. They're so addicting/good that Kaylani has learned that morning stops with Papa are usually to a place that carries munchkins. Ok, so its more like she knows first stop is always to Dunkin Donuts, so much so that she even recognizes the logo and/or the location (either that or she can read). So who am I to say no to her when she screams from the car "Dunkin Donuts! Papa coffee. Munchkin please!"

Since Kaylani is still teetering between single and double digit weight percentiles, a munchkin here or there is probably a good thing. A little extra weight couldn't hurt, and really, how bad could a lot of extra sugar really be for you anyways? For right now, I don't mind it so much. If it keeps her happy, then it keeps me happy. Plus, its damn cute to watch her ask for and then eat it too. And as an added bonus, any time she gets 2, one is always "for Papa." So for now, its munchkins for both of us, and at the same time, its going straight to our hearts.

School is Cool!

Obviously Kaylani is going to go in and out of a ton of phases in her life. In fact, just last week, she was in an "eat everything" phase, and as quickly as yesterday, she was back to her "all done no mama/papa" eating phase. Well one phase we hope she never gets out of is her "I like school" phase.

Monday will mark Kaylani's first day at a new school. For those of you following, you're probably confused since Kaylani was supposed to start school almost a month ago, but that's a story for another day (sidenote: for those living in the Mercer County area, do NOT send your child to The Learning Experience in Pennington). Anyways, Kaylani will go to school on Monday, which means we'll finally stop feeling bad every time she says "Kaylani go to school and see friends" or "Kaylani say hi friends!"

Its amazing how much Kaylani has learned from school. We're convinced she wouldn't be as social as she is right now had she never gone, and she might not even be talking as much as she is now if not for school. But regardless of how much she's learning, or how social she's becoming, or how often she might get sick (since schools are like "giant petri dishes of bacteria" according to Bat Bat), the most important thing is she likes it and she has fun.

Her new school is only a few minutes from home, and with my new longer commute to work, I probably won't get to take her there (or pick her up) very often. But the times I do, I'm looking forward to singing our school song together again! It goes something like this (and was stolen directly from Sid the Science Kid):

Me: I love my...
K: Papa!
Me: He is so...
K: Cool!
Me: But now its...
K: Time...
Me: To have fun at...
K: School!

Now that its Mama's turn to take her to school, we'll see how quickly the song gets turned back into the actual version from Sid with Mama in there instead of Papa. I've got a feeling that Kaylani won't give in too easily, but even if she does, school will still be cool which is all that matters!

Home Away From Home

I used to get yelled at when I would call my hotel "home" when I was traveling, and I never really understood why. To me, "home" was where I was staying that night. "Home" was where I was when I wasn't at work. "Home" was where my stuff was and where I could catch a few hours of sleep. But now that I'm not a single traveling consultant anymore, my outlook on "home" has definitely changed.

Last week, Mommy and I went to Dallas for Jay and Ashley's wedding. When they first got engaged, our original plan was to bring Kaylani with us. But as things developed, that plan changed. For one, the wedding was at 7pm, which is right around her bedtime. Then, add in the small hotel room, the fact that there was a pool that Kaylani would have constantly wanted to be in, and of course the plane rides, and you get enough to make us sway on that decision. Throw in the part where we haven't had a weeked alone in 2 years, and then you understand why. But what was the real deciding factor was having Yin Yin and Yea Yea move 20 minutes away from us.

3 months ago, when Yin Yin and Yea Yea first decided to move down to central NJ, we were ecstatic because it meant we would have family nearby. We would have someone that we knew we could count on no matter what (in addition to our friends). We would be able to spend more time with them than just the hectic, packed visits to Boston 2 to 3 times/year (plus visits to NJ). But most importantly, Kaylani would get to spend more time with them on a regular basis, and have another place she could call "home."

Sure Mommy and I have loved having them here so we can sneak away for dinner, or for the night, or just have them help out during the day so we can take a break every now and then (or not cook dinner), but Kaylani is the one who really loves it. Its rare that a day goes by without her saying "I'm going Yin Yin Yea Yea house!" or "I play with Yin Yin Yea Yea" or "I see Emma" (which is the name of a doll we leave at their house). And if you didn't want to believe just what she says (which is a good idea since she makes stuff up a lot), you'd believe it just by seeing how happy she is when she's with them.

When we left her there Wednesday night (we flew out early Thursday morning), she said "Bye mama! Bye Papa! Mama Papa go to Dallas! Kaylani stay at Yin Yin Yea Yea home. Yes." There was no crying. No screaming. No protest. Maybe a little crying from Mommy since it was only the second time she was leaving her for more than 48 hours (and the first time was just to NYC), but for the most part, all was okay. And for the next 3 days, we talked to her on the phone to say hi and again to say good night (as best we could with "hi mama, hi papa" being mixed in with "its raining," "I play with Emma" and "I jumping").

And if the updates that she went to sleep fine, and that she said "mama papa in Dallas" after she asked for us, and that she got to see Sesame Street Live with her cousins, and her general happy tone of voice wasn't enough, we knew Kaylani was at her home away from home when we picked her up and got ready to leave on Sunday. We asked her if she was ready to go home, and she said "I want to stay at Yin Yin Yea Yea home!" Sure she finally came around and came with us, but from now on, she might as well just call both places "home," because in my book, "home" is now where you're surrounded by people you love and people who love you. And that's definitely both our home, and Yin Yin and Yea Yea's home.

Imagination Running Wild

There's something about kids imaginations that is just mesmorizing. I can sit back and just watch Kaylani play endlessly...and I have. In fact, I've found myself running out the door to work instead of walking leisurely out on time (like this morning) because I got caught up watching her play. And I would totally do it time and time again.

I don't even know why we buy toys for Kaylani (or bring home donated/hand-me-down toys from friends) since she's entertained by the simplest of things. This mornings "toy" was a cup. A simple, hard plastic cup that I got over 10 years ago from a friend at Microsoft (which is completely irrelevant except I think he might possibly be in the spy business now...like Chuck). One second she's pretending to drink normally out of the cup. Next she's holding it over her mouth (and nose) and talking into her new "micro/megaphone." The next its a sock on her bare feet (which she finds hilarious). And lastly its a camera that she can hold as close to her face as possible and say "smile cheese" to while "taking a picture." All that with a cup. And all that within 10, highly entertaining (for both of us), minutes.

Seeing Kaylani play like that just brings me back to a simpler time. A time where everything you touched turned into so much more. A cup was 4 different things, a blanket 5. A box? An uncountable number of things! Those were the easy times. Times when I didn't have to worry about deadlines, income, budgets, social obligations, or to remember to bring my 2 Blackberrys, iPad, and computer with me to NYC (while forgetting an umbrella on a rainy day).

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the easy times. But then I look at Kaylani play and I realize I'm actually in best time after all. And I'm pretty sure its only going to get better, and that's not hard to imagine at all.

Talk her down

See that picture up there? That's me. Early this morning. Very early. Was in Kaylani's room doing a late night visit trying to see what was going on. Here's what went down:

It was around 4am when we first heard her cries come through the monitor. As usual, we laid there listening for the first 5 minutes (which means Mommy was listening while I was still sleeping). After another 5 minutes of her crying while sitting with no slow down in sight, we took action. Its been awhile since we've had to go in Kaylani's room during the middle of the night (between 9mos and a year), so we were a little tentative on diverting from our usual "let her cry for 15 minutes to fall back asleep plan". But since we were at Yin Yin/Yea Yea's house, and she's been a little sicky, I went in. That's when the plan went from "check on her" to "talk her down".

After kneeling beside her and trying to calm her down for a minute (see picture above), we had the following conversation, which can also be found in any expert crisis negotiation handbook:

Me: Kaylani, are you okay?
Kaylani: *wahhhhh*
Me: Kaylani, why are you crying?
Kaylani: *wahhhhh*
Me: Kaylani, are you okay?
K: *wahhhh* yes *sniff sniff*
Me: Why are you crying?
K: *wahhhh*
Me: Are you tired?
K: Yes *sniff sniff*
Me: Do you want to lay down?
K: Yes *sniff sniff* (lays down while keeping her head up)
Me: Do you want Papa to sing for you?
K: Yes *sniff sniff* (head still up)
Me: Good night Kaylani well its time to sleep. Close your...
K: (lifts up a little) I want to wake up Mama
Me: No sweetie, Mama is sleeping
K: I want to wake up Yin Yin
Me: No sweetie, Yin Yin is sleeping
K: I want to wake up Yea Yea
Me; No sweetie, Yea Yea is sleeping. Do you want Papa to sing to you?
K: Yes (lays down a little again...head still up)
Me: Close your eyes don't make a peep. Rest your head and drift away. Tomorrow it will be time to play
K: I want to play with Yin Yin and Yea Yea
Me: You need to sleep Kaylani so you have energy to play tomorrow. Close your eyes and sleep. We'll play with Yin Yin and Yea Yea when you wake up tomorrow.
K: *wahhhhhh* Okay
Me: Put your head down and close your eyes
K: (puts head down) Okay
Me: Good night baby. I love you.
K: *wahhhh* *sniff sniff*
Me: (backing out of room) Good night Kaylani. Go to sleep. I love you!
K: *sniff sniff whine whine* zzzzzzzz

And that was that. Then I had to talk Mama back to sleep (and get her some crackers to hold over her hunger) before I could finally sleep myself. 2 hours later, we were up for the day. And so began another day in the life of "Papa: Expert Mid-Night Negotiator Extraordinaire!" Until next time...which hopefully will not be tonight.

An Attitude to Learn

There are pros and cons to finding a new job, both of which I've experienced over the past month as I transitioned from Johnson & Johnson to Catalent. The pros are things like not being unemployed, supporting my family, and moving up in my career, all of which are summed up by Kaylani as "Papa go to work to make money yes" (still not sure why she adds "Yes" to most statements, but that's besides the point). The cons are things like starting over, a longer commute, and most recently, finding a new daycare/school for Kaylani.

For the past 6 months, Kaylani was happily enrolled at Bright Horizons which was part of my campus at J&J. And despite my (and Kaylani's teachers) pleas, there was no way to keep her there once I left (legally). So off we went to explore new schools, and in doing so, learned a lot ourselves.

Most importantly for us was a school that would not just watch Kaylani, but also socialize and teach her something each day...at a reasonable cost and within a reasonable commute. The last parts excluded a portion of the area schools for now, so we were focusing on the socialization and the teaching bit for the most part. While I can't say our search was exhaustive, we checked out 4 new schools within 15 minutes of home, or as Kaylani says it: "Kaylani check out NEW school" (not sure why she emphasizes NEW, but she does).

Out of the 4 schools, it came down to 2 real choices. The other 2 were too depressing to even go into detail about. Whether it was a lack of color inside, or depressing teachers, or small spaces, they were just not an option within minutes of seeing the place. Thankfully the other 2 were both good enough to save Kaylani from spending 4 hours at a depressing center for 3 days a week.

Besides the bright, happy environment/people, we paid attention to the lessons that were going to be taught, and there was one thing that one of the Directors said to me that really stuck in my head. She said that they try and teach with "positive redirection" when toddler/twaddlers/preschoolers seemingly have a little bit of an attitude. Not only did the "positive redirection" thing sound catchy (and like the name of a team on Glee), it also stuck because the whole attitude thing is precisely what we go through every day with Kaylani. In short, "positive redirection" is saying "you can play if you finish your food" instead of "if you don't finish your food, you can't play." At least that's how I interpreted the one example we were given. And by interpreted, I mean wrote here word for word as it was explained to me.

Anyways, since she learned to talk, we hear "no" almost every other minute. As she got better, it became "no mama/papa" or "no I do it." And, it then grew into "no I don't like it" or "no I don't want that" or "no you take that spoonful of food and shove it up your..." (ok that last one hasn't happened...yet). Basically, she's become an independent, stubborn (at times) girl all before the age of 23 months...which is what I feared from her at age 2 or ideally 3 and beyond (read: wayyy beyond).

Kaylani starts school on October 4th, and we couldn't be happier because this "positive redirection" hasn't worked so much for us the first couple of times we've tried it. Our attempts at "Kaylani, you can play if you finish your dinner" are still met with "no I don't like it. I don't want it" and the plate/spoon/hand being pushed away as she simultaneously buries her head into her chest/arm and does a fake cry/whine. Plus, its much easier to say "Kaylani, butt on the chair now" then it is to say "Kaylani, you can stand on the chair if you finish your dinner...but even then you can't stand on the chair because its dangerous and you'll fall down."

Ok, so I probably don't really know how this whole "positive redirection" thing is actually supposed to be done, but I do know the school does. Hopefully they'll be teach all of us soon because right now, Papa no like it!

Imagine if...

You ever wonder what life would have been like if things were different? What could have been if you had just (insert regret here)? Or maybe you sit back and dream about what might be in the future? Lay there and imagine the infinite possibilities of what's to come? Well lately I've been doing both.

I haven't posted a single thing since 2009...which for those of you counting, is over 9 months ago. And before that, I logged a grand total of 39 posts between September to December, which is about 300 posts less than I did over the previous year. Pretty sad, and now looking back, I wonder what could have been. What would I have written on Kaylani's first day(s) of daycare? What about her first day at gym class, music class, or Sesame Place? The first wedding she attended? Her road trips to Boston, NYC, Philly, to the beach, or her trips to Puerto Rico and Beijing with her cousins? Or what about the first (and only) time she used the potty, or when she started talking in full sentences? Or when she started counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 6? Or maybe when she decided to change it to 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 instead?

All of these things and so much more happened in the last year and none of them were documented. Sure we've got pictures of all of these things, but after looking back at what this used to be, pictures just don't compare to a good old fashioned story telling blog.

So here we are, almost a year since my last "real" post. Kaylani is 6 weeks away from turning 2 years old, Daddy is 4 days away from starting a brand new job, and we're up to 4 people who have asked what happened to "The Daddy Diaries." I could give a million excuses on what went wrong (crazy job, lack of time, writers block, etc), but instead, I'll vow to pick things back up. I'm going back to the basics. Back to writing from the heart and about the things we're going through with Kaylani. Back to writing for Kaylani's sake, instead of for writings sake.

This blog was supposed to give us something to look back on and smile as we saw where we've come from and how we got to where we are. So that's what we're gonna do. You can just imagine what that's gonna be like.