Is it here yet?

There's still ~22 weeks left before baby #2 makes its grand entrance into the world. But according to one of us, June 1 can't come soon enough.

Every now and then, Kaylani wants to touch Mommy's belly. It usually happens when we're taking pictures to see how they've grown. Sometimes it happens when Mommy is rubbing her belly, or when she's wearing a shirt that doesn't quite cover her belly (which only happens in the privacy and comfort of our own home). Most of the time, she just touches Mommy's belly button, or says "hi" to the baby through the belly button when we tell her to talk to her baby brother or sister (which she says "no brother. Sister mama/papa!" to before she says "hi"). But today, she was different.

Before nap, Kaylani was getting ready for nap, and wanted to say "good nap" to the baby. After going straight to Mommy's belly and pulling down her maternity pants so she could play with and talk to her belly button, Mommy explained to her that Kaylani was going to sleep in her crib and Mommy and baby were going to go take a nap. She said okay and then went to nap. After nap, this happened:

Mommy: Hi Kaylani! Did you have a good nap?
Kaylani: Is the baby awake yet? I wake up from nap and play with baby. Baby awake?
M: No sweetie, the baby is still in Mommy's belly
K: But I want to play with the baby. Baby wake up from nap
M: Sorry sweetie, but the baby isn't ready yet. Your baby brother or sister won't be ready for awhile.
K: No brother Mama! Baby SISter!

Then for the rest of the afternoon, she asked questions and talked about her baby "sister" with Mommy. We've still got 5+ months left. Last time it was Mommy who wanted the baby out more and more with each passing day. This time, I think its going to be Kaylani. Or maybe it'll still be Mommy since she'll be feeling it AND hearing it, for the next 5 months!

Second Fiddle

For as long as I can remember I've been preaching against unfairness towards the second (or youngest) child/sibling, obviously because I was both the second and youngest child in the family. I always felt that different rules applied for my older brother, or that he got preferential treatment when it came to...well, everything. And the same things applied to Mommy's older sister, which was validation enough for me. But when we saw the younger of our niece and nephew going through the same thing (seemingly), it solidified to me that I was right on with my feelings. Well, until we found out we were expecting our second.

It kills me to say this, but so far, 17 weeks in, we've been completely different from the way we were when Kaylani was at this point, especially me. And the answer that I heard for so long that I argued about and against is so true: its different with 2...and we don't even have 2 yet! Now, in my defense, the level of difference with our second one is still early...REAL early. I'm not attending every single one of Mommy's pre-natal visits, which is bad since I probably only missed 1 with Kaylani, but my excuse there is now I work 45 min away from the doctor instead of 10 min. And I'm not reading directly to Mommy's belly (yet), but the baby/fetus still hears my voice since I read to Kaylani while Mommy and baby bump are in the room. And even though Mommy is eating nuts, cold cuts, and other things she stayed away from the first time around, its okay because we were being overprotective the first time. And those are things that can be remedied...and its still early...right?

The things I made a big deal about growing up were more about the attention the olders got, or how they got to carve their own path while we had to follow in their footsteps. They got to set expectations while we had our expectations set for us. Those things are different than the difference we're going through with the pregnancies. Things will be different for us with our second, which means they'll be the same for both our children. I won't let that happen with our second. I can't let that happen for our second. I shouldn't let that happen. That's possible...right?

Kaylani's Big Announcement

Sometimes it takes a minute to figure out what Kaylani is saying. It takes even longer than a minute if you're not around her often, but for the most part Mommy and I "speak Kaylani" pretty well. But a few months ago, it took me a couple of minutes myself, and I even had help.

It was the morning of September 23rd and Mommy told me I had to get Kaylani because she wanted to see me. Nothing unusual there, especially since I had gotten home late from NYC the night before and missed bedtime. So around 7:15am, I wandered into Kaylani's room. She stood up as usual, and started to say something. I, of course, went on with my usual routine of turning off her nightlight, opening her blinds, and turning off her humidifier. Still Kaylani was saying something that I couldn't make out so I kept on going.

First I said "Good Morning Kaylani" and asked her how she slept. I gave her a hug and a kiss and knelt down in front of her crib to talk to her. She kept saying "pajamas" and "I have girl" which I thought nothing of since Mommy had told me the night before that she bought Kaylani new pajamas with a little girl on them. But when I noticed Mommy standing in the doorway, and Kaylani looking at her and repeating "I have girl I have girl" while they both smiled, I started to think I was missing something. Boy was I ever.

Slowly it all started to come clear and I started to understand what Kaylani might have been talking about. I looked over at Mommy and she was smiling wide as could be and on the verge of tears. I looked at Kaylani again and looked at her harder to see if I understood correctly. I looked back at Mommy and she confirmed it. It was true. Kaylani was telling me in the clearest way possible. She had a little girl on her pajamas. And with that picture of the little girl were two words that she couldn't be happier to have learned: Big Sister. Kaylani was gonna be a big sister. She had a little girl on her pajamas, but Mommy had a little girl (or boy) in her belly. Wow.

Immediately all the feelings I had over 2.5 years ago when we found out that Mommy was pregnant the first time came flooding back in. But this time, It wasn't just 2 of us hugging and smiling. This time it was 3 of us. We're not entirely sure if Kaylani grasped exactly what being a big sister meant (she does now), but she was happy enough to just be a part of it. Thankfully we have some of this time documented through pictures you can see here. Also thankfully I didn't have a recently peed on stick stuck in my face as I was waking up like last time.

So here we are, 11.5 weeks into Mommy's 2nd pregnancy and its like its all new to us. She just had her 12 week ultrasound and we stared at the little baby inside her with what seemed like the same amazement as the first time. It was still hard to believe a little baby with a head, arms, legs, and a rapidly beating heart were inside there. Just a few weeks ago we saw a dot that was supposedly the same thing. Its grown so much but we have no concept of size even though we've been through this before. Guess we should re-sign up for those Babycenter newsletters to find out if we have a peanut, pear, squash, or some obscure fruit sized baby each week.

Already we've seen differences from the first time, like Mommy not being able to sleep for the last 7 weeks, or the nausea caused by the cooking of food, or of course from the presence of Kaylani. But the biggest difference is that I've got the blog up and running already and I plan on documenting the next 6 months and beyond in addition to the normal blogs on Kaylani. So stick around, keep on reading, and look ahead to May 29, 2011 with us, which is when all three of our lives will change again. And change is always good...especially in this case.

Baby Story

Not surprisingly, I have no problems talking about Kaylani. Some way or another, Kaylani works her way into pretty much every conversation I have. It's like I can't even have a conversation without bringing her up. Does my life even exist without her? I'm thinking no. Here are a few recent examples:

Example #1: Today at a client meeting (one of my last...sigh), my client was talking about her 2 American Bulldogs that she had to pick up from the vet. She came to the decision with her fiance that he would drop them off, but she would pick them up so that way she wasn't associated with the "procedure" that they were being left to. That's a perfectly normal story that had nothing to do with me. What did I do? I said I felt the same way when Mommy makes me hold Kaylani when she gets shots at the pediatrician (but on the losing end of course since I'm the one who actually has to hold her). Related? Sure. But was it really necessary to bring Kaylani up?

Example #2: I have a coworker, Amanda, who likes to use words that only people who got an 800 Verbal score on the SATs wouuld know. She came in to my office saying she had just taught Danika a new word. What did I do? I told her she should teach Kaylani some new words because she only knows how to say "mamamama", "papapapa", and "ishhhhh" real well. Could I just have called her a nerd and moved on? Oh wait, I did call her a nerd. Couldn't I just have moved on?

Example #3: I was at the Yankees game the other day watching Derek Jeter tie the all time Yankees hit record held by Lou Gehrig. As soon as he did it (in the 7th inning), we all stood up and went wild cheering. Then I said to the guy next to me, "Holy cow Derek Jeter is the greatest Yankee of all time! Did you know my baby has 2 teeth and poops twice a day?"

Okay, so example #3 didn't actually happen (she only poops once a day so I would never lie and say twice), but the other 2 are examples that have actually happened in the last 2 days. I'm sure there were plenty more, but the point is, Kaylani has consumed my entire life. As another point, this blog has allowed me to express my adventures with Kaylani. If you add them together, that means that this blog is my entire life. So if you read this blog regularly and run into me sometime in the near future, just tell me you already know everything about Kaylani and I'll just sit there quietly instead of telling you stories that you already know. Without Kaylani, I might not be anything at all, but with her, I'm the happiest Dad alive. And that's the only story that matters.

The Big (Inconvenient) Apple

We finally did it. We ventured out of our safe little suburb and headed into the big city with Kaylani. Sure we've been up there before to Bat Bat and Auntie Shannon's house, or even to Chinatown for a party, but we've never been up there to be tourists. Long story short, it ain't easy being a tourist in NYC. Well, not with a baby at least.

You'd think that we would be pros at getting around the city since we lived there for a year before moving to NJ. You'd also think that Daddy would be even more of a pro since he has an office in NYC that he goes to a few times a month. But if you really think about it, living in the city and traveling to the city previously has nothing to do with the trip we took. Traveling in the city before today didn't involve Kaylani. Traveling in the city before was just the 2 of us driving downtown, or taking the subway, walking the streets, or taking a cab wherever we wanted to go. Traveling in the city before was easy. Traveling the city now, is anything but easy.

Instead of driving into the city like we normally would, we took NJ Transit from Hamilton into NY Penn Station. Kaylani fell asleep about 30 minutes before we got to the city (or an hour after we got on the train) which you would think is a good thing. The problem is that she fell asleep in her stroller. Normally Kaylani napping in her stroller is great. But in the city, strollers are a pain unless you're above ground. And since we were not even close to being above ground, we had to do some searching around for elevators, which is no easy task in NYC.

We found a few elevators to at least get us to the subway to head downtown (conveniently, the elevators already smelled like urine so we didn't have to worry about Kaylani's diaper offending anyone). After making our way downtown, we ran into our first situation: no elevator. Sleeping baby in a stroller + no elevator = ow, our back. We carefully lifted Kaylani up as evenly as we could and headed upstairs. Luckily for us there were only 20 of them this time.

The next part of our trip was wandering around Canal St and Little Italy until we found a restaurant to eat at. NYC is great for people watching because there are tons of people around. NYC is not great for strollers because there are tons of people around. So after pushing our way through hoards of people, we finally found a nice restaurant to park at for a little bit. Surprisingly it even had a changing table (although we assumed they wouldn't and changed her in her stroller the first time).

Next was a walk uptown to From Rice to Riches (Mommy's favorite rice pudding place) and Pinkberry for some dessert, before we took the subway way uptown to FAO Schwartz. Another subway meant more stairs (and no elevator). This time, it was about 30 steps down so we just took the kids out of their stroller. That meant that Kaylani was free on the subway. While she was greatly entertained by all the people staring at her (and equally entertaining to them I'm sure), it also meant she was free to touch things. People, subway railings, walls, and other germ infested things. After making our way out, we wiped her down and were on our way.

FAO Schwartz was completely overwhelming and we didn't even end up buying anything (her 1 year birthday is too close). By the time we finished, it was after 5pm and Kaylani had fallen asleep in her stroller. We took another subway (down 40+ stairs this time), and an escalator (completely illegal with Kaylani sleeping in the stroller) before we got to Penn Station to catch a train 2 minutes before it was leaving (Kaylani was awake by this time). And since it was rush hour on a Friday night, the train was packed and we were split up. Kaylani and Mommy sat next to a guy who luckily didn't mind being poked and thrown Cheerios at by Kaylani, and Daddy sat nearby. About halfway through, we all got a row together and the rest of the ride went fairly well.

All in all, a day trip to the city turned out to be quite a long adventure (kinda like this post). We had a blast and I'm sure Kaylani loved it, but it was amazing to find out just how inconvenient the city is with a baby. No cabs, no elevators, no space, and no breaks. I guess that's the price you pay of living in the city. I'm not sure how people do it. I know plenty of people who love it (like Bat Bat and Auntie Shannon), but I'll take our SUV in our wide roads any day of the week. For us, the city is just fine as a day trip. Well, fine enough I guess!

Dog Days of Summer

It's a dog eat dog world out there. If you can't beat em, join em. Put those two together, and what you get is the fact that I want a dog. In fact, Mommy wants a dog too. If I had to guess, Kaylani would want a dog as well. So why is it that we don't have a dog? Oh right, because everyone told us not to get one.

3 years ago when we lived in Orlando we talked about getting a dog. Mommy wanted a Yorkie or a Maltese and Daddy wanted a big ol' Lab. What we wanted didn't matter because we weren't at a point in our lives where we could get a dog. Mommy and Daddy were both traveling 4 days a week, which meant there was little time for a dog (or much else) . Then, after moving to our apartment in NYC, we had to put our dog day dreams on hold. But all of that changed when we bought a house in NJ, but then quickly changed again.

Our backyard is completely fenced in which means it's perfect for a dog of any size. Well, maybe not ANY size, but definitely big enough for a Lab and way too big for a Yorkie. We finally had our house in the burbs with a fenced in yard, so it meant it was dog time, right? Right...kinda. We were in the market for a dog, and at that point, we even knew Kaylani was on the way. Unfortunately for us, everyone else knew Kaylani was on the way, and everyone else steered us away from getting a dog.

Apparently the consensus was that having a baby AND raising/training a puppy is not a good decision. These "babies" take up a lot of time and attention, and so do puppies. We thought we could handle both, especially with the aforementioned fenced in backyard, but in the end, we decided to hold off. Not because we thought we couldn't handle it, but because we were unconfident, newbie parents. Well here we are now with 7 months of parenting experience built up (plus 50% on top of that that I earned from having a "Dads, Not Babysitters" t-shirt from Dad-Blogs). And now, I want a dog.

We finally got around to watching Marley & Me last night. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it as long as you can handle a sappy movie with a ridiculously sad ending (which I won't give away although I'm sure you could figure it out). Sappiness aside, it brought back my desire to have a puppy of my own again. It's been 15 years since we gave away my puppy Max (a Bichon) because I was headed off to college and my parents were moving to Boston. And for 15 years, I dreamed of the day when I could get a puppy of my own again. Maybe, just maybe, that day is near.

There are definitely the pros and cons of having a puppy, and I'm well aware of most of them. Sure they take a lot of work, need a lot of attention, and have the potential to eat my baby, but all of those are offset by how fun, loyal, and cute there are (okay, maybe not the eating my baby part). We were over at Aidan's house today and they have a Yorkie that definitely didn't try to eat Kaylani, unless you count a couple of licks to the face as eat attempts. I mean, I guess it could be a bit different with a Lab, but that really just means it's a bigger tongue to lick her face with, right?

So we're not sure if we'll get a puppy now or not. Maybe we should hold out a few more years until Kaylani asks for one. Sure would be easier than buying her a pony or a spaceship. Unfortunately I've never been one to wait around for things to happen, but fortunately the one thing I've learned since I've had Kaylani is patience. They say it's a virtue. I say it doesn't get me a dog. Tough call.

Bouncy Baby

Tiggers like to bounce. We all know that. What I'm unsure of is whether or not Kaylani is a Tigger. Early results seem to indicate that she is, but I'm hoping the verdict is still out. I don't mind that Kaylani likes to bounce. In fact, I think it's pretty damn cute when she bounces...in her jumparoo. It's the fact that she likes to bounce everywhere that struck me as different.

We went out to dinner with Makayla (and Dorothy and Tom of course) tonight, and we couldn't help but notice the difference in mannerisms between Kaylani and Makayla. Makayla is 6 weeks older than Kaylani, and far better behaved in public. Actually, that's not fair. Both Kaylani and Makayla didn't have any sort of meltdown tonight, so "better behaved" isn't the right comparison. "More calm" I guess is what I meant to say.

We were at dinner for just about 2 hours, and for the first 1.5 hours, Makayla sat in her carseat playing by herself with her toys or looking around. By comparison, Kaylani only spent the first 20 minutes doing the same. For the rest of the time, Kaylani was in our arms bouncing up and down and looking all around us and the restaurant. It's like she was listening to the cheer "stand up, sit down, fight fight fight!" and instead of clapping or cheering along, she was going through the motions. And the whole time, Makayla sat in her carseat or in Tom's lap and stared at Kaylani (or tried to eat her own foot).

Now, since Kaylani was well behaved, I don't want to seem like I'm complaining because I'm not. It just struck me how different babies can be from one another. I mean, I've obviously known that babies are different from one another, but what makes one baby so active and the other so calm? I can't help but think that we influenced this personality somehow by the amount we used to rock her, sway her, and swing her. Did all that movement get engrained in her head so much that she loves to move? Or maybe it's just the fact that she's half Puerto Rican. That's my other explanation.

Whatever it is, she's an active little baby, and she's not even mobile yet. I guess we better get used to her activeness now, because if we don't, we're gonna be in for quite the shock when she gets older. And to make sure we're living in the moment, here are pictures to round out week 20. Enjoy looking at my little girl. I know I do!

Taking It All In

After particularly long days, I find myself taking a step back from everything and just staring at Kaylani. She brings a level of calm to me that I've never had (or noticed) before and I think it's because she is a symbol of things during a less complicated, more relaxed time.

There's very little that Kaylani has to worry about or even do. To her, life is whatever she wants it to be. It's the same every day for her and so different all at the same time. Every day, things take on different meanings, or she learns that she can do something new, and it's an amazing thing to watch her go through. And it's exactly what I need every now and then.

Tonight, Kaylani spent 20 minutes in her Jumparoo, and for 20 minutes, I sat there and watched her play by herself. She's grown so much since the first time we put her in that she now uses it for different purposes. Originally, it was to stare at the lights and listen to the music. Then, it was to bounce and flex her legs. Now, she still does all those things, but takes a moment to take in her surroundings. She seemed to notice every toy and feature on the jumparoo and played with each for a little bit. But it was her ability to take everything else in that caught my attention.

She ignored the music and the lights, and instead focused on the walls around her, the toys next to her, the legs of the jumparoo that were holding her up. Sure, she stole a few glances at me staring at her, but she just went back to her own thing. Play with the toys a bit, look around. Jump a little bit, look around. Stare off at something only she could see, and then look around some more. 4 months ago, she couldn't even stare straight ahead. Now, she's staring at anything she can.

Sometimes I wish I could spend my life just taking it all in. I wish that I had nothing else to do but analyze my surroundings, and then move on to the next thing that came my way. There's nothing simple about taking care of a baby, but life sure is simpler being a baby. And oddly enough, it's the baby that makes life feel so simple after all.

If you don't believe me, take a look at this video of Kaylani I posted to our YouTube page. Take a step back and just look at how simple life can be, and I bet it makes you feel as relaxed as I do right now.

Swaying in the Wind

Swaying is a technique that anyone who has held a baby is well aware of. It's a natural soothing technique that works on all babies, which is why all people know about it. I hate to pull the parent card out, but us parents are far more aware of just how much we sway. We sway to get them to sleep. We sway to get them quiet. We sway to keep them quiet. And we even sway to have some fun. Most of the time we sway WITH them. But some of the time, we even sway WITHOUT them.

I've seen other parents sway when people are holding their baby, but I don't think I've ever done it myself without holding Kaylani (or another baby). When you're in the presence of a baby, there's some external force that just makes you sway. And that part I understand because it really is a natural instinct to sway when you see a baby. But the other day, I found myself swaying without Kaylani (or any baby) being anywhere near me.

I was checking in for my doctor's appointment and the nurse told me to give her a few minutes to finish something up. I of course said no problem, and took out my Blackberry to kill some time. After about 2 minutes, I realized that I was swaying side to side. I have no idea if I just started or if I was doing the entire time, but there I was doing the baby sway...with no baby. It's like I was soothing my Blackberry (or perhaps myself).

Perhaps Mommy was home swaying Kaylani at that exact moment and our bond is so strong that I was swaying with her. But unfortunately Mommy was actually on her way to exercise class, so unless she was swaying in the car, it's unlikely that our bond is THAT strong. Well I think the latest statistic is that a baby is born every 8 seconds, so it's likely that I was swaying along with some baby. But my guess is that Kaylani was dreaming about swaying and that's why I was doing it. Or maybe I'm just a little weird. Hard to say.

Anyways, we're at the end of week 17, and only 2 days away from Kaylani's 4 month birthday! So to get the weekend started, check out these pictures from the last few days. They include Kaylani's first time in her high chair and her jumparoo (thanks again Danika!), and our first pictures as a family that I took using my new wireless camera remote (which was one of my rewards for being so healthy over the last month. I highly recommend getting one for any Canon EOS owners). And don't forget to come back tomorrow for some videos of Kaylani in her jumparoo (and a great one with Mommy too)!

Who doesn't want to be a baby again?

Life as a baby is pretty great. That thought has come into my mind several times since Kaylani was born. I mean, think about it for a second. You sleep 16 hours a day, and when you wake up, you eat. While you're eating, you fall back asleep! And whenever you're awake and not eating, all you have to do is lay there and look around. The only thing you have to be worried about is when you're going to eat again, or when you're going to sleep again, or maybe when someone is going to come clean the pee or poop that's stuck to you.

Okay, so maybe the pee or poop thing doesn't sound like the best thing in the world, but the sleeping/eating/sleeping thing does, and the no other worries thing does too. You don't have to get up early to go to work, don't need to worry about an upcoming deadline, and don't even need to worry about what to cook/eat for dinner. It sounds pretty ideal to me. Well, I guess some people would have a problem with eating the same thing every meal (I wouldn't), and others would find it boring to sleep for so long (I would), but still, the good still outweighs the bad, right?

As a baby, you have people that do everything for you...EVERYTHING. Hungry? Someone will feed you. Tired? Someone will rock you to sleep. Lonely? Someone will hold you. Pee or poop on yourself? Someone will change you (and you don't even have to tell them to promise never to tell anyone about it or that you owe them one). What a great life! Well, except that you're completely reliant on someone all the time. That could be kinda tough.

Hmm, so maybe it's not the best life in the world, at least not now that I've experienced so much more. But for Kaylani, I'm positive she has the best life in the world. Anyone with these parents and friends wouldn't think otherwise either. So what that I'm not a baby anymore. After all, that's why I have one.

Does this baby make me look fat?

Seriously, does my baby make me look fat? I'm not saying my baby looks fat, and I personally don't think that I look fat, but apparently I'm the only one who doesn't think I look fat. I've had several people tell me (including mommy) that I look fat. They tell me it via email, via IM, and right to my fat face. Actually, mommy told me I look "wider", but I'm pretty sure it means the same thing in Puerto Rican English.

To my credit, I've actually LOST 4lbs since Kaylani was born. Now at my weight, I'm not sure anyone would notice that I even lost 4lbs, but I didn't think that holding a 8lb baby would make me look fat. What is it? Is it my belly? Sure it's out there a little bit (mommy says it looks like I'm 20 weeks pregnant), but it's not like kids are mistaking me for Santa. Is it my head? I know I have a big head, but it's not like I have trouble putting my shirt on in the morning. Whatever I look like now, I haven't gained any weight in the last 2 weeks, so the only thing I can think of is that my baby must make me look fat.

Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion, but I don't think so. I think I have an actual thing to complain about (unlike all those Motrin moms). I don't wear my baby as a fashion accessory, unless you count fat as an accessory. Next time someone tells me I'm fat, I'm going to puff up my cheeks, stick out my belly, hold my baby close to my body and say "you're damn right I am. You try carrying around an extra 8lbs and see what people say about you...jackass."

And as my first act of protest, I've posted Kaylani's new pictures. None of them have me in them because I'm tired of looking fat in pictures, but I'll never get tired of looking at my little girl. I think looking fat next to my baby makes me look like an official dad. And when it comes down to it, being an official dad is really what matters...no matter how fat it makes me look.