Sleeping Like a Baby

Math quiz! If I went to sleep 3 hours after my 1 year old does, and woke up 2 hours before she did, how many hours could I sleep? I'm sure the answer would vary greatly for most people with a 1 year old (or any infant/baby/toddler for that matter). For me, the answer is 7. I could get 7 hours of sleep if I went to sleep 3 hours after her, and woke up 2 hours before her. That's how many hours I could get (at least). The real answer is 5. I get 5 hours of sleep each night. So the real question isn't how many hours could I get, but why don't I?

Most people I know would kill for 7 hours of sleep a night (especially parents). They would sign a contract right now signing over their first born for 7 hours of sleep, especially if it was their first born that was making that task impossible. But for me, 7 hours of sleep is apparently too much. In fact, if you did the real math, you would have figured out that I could actually get 12 hours of sleep if I went to bed at the same time as Kaylani, and woke up at the same time as her too (that would of course mean I went to bed at 7pm and woke up at 7am, but that's besides the point). So what's wrong with me? Why am I throwing away anywhere from 2-7 hours of sleep each night? And the other question some parents have asked me is, where do I get this wonderful drug that I give Kaylani each night?

The answer to the second question is easy...Target. Just kidding, I don't give her any drugs (except Infants' Tylenol...but only when she's teething, sick, or tired). The answer to the first question is harder...because I really have no idea. I've been given the gift of sleep and I've chosen to return it for what amounts to unusable store credit. For all her life, Kaylani has been a great sleeper. Whether it was only waking up every 3-4 hours when she was born, to sleeping 11-12 hours straight through now, she's been better than I could have ever imagined. The problem is that for all my life, I've never been a good sleeper.

I'm what you could call a morning and a night person. I'll wake up at 5 or 6am, and could still be going strong at 2am or 3am (sure helped me get through college...and by get through, I mean stay up and play video games while watching TV). I could be up and at the gym (back when I used to go to the gym) at 5am and then close down a bar at 2am. Or more appropriately now, I could be up at 5am checking email and surfing the web, and still up at 11pm checking email and finishing up some work. Something I figured out about 10 years ago was that I just don't need sleep.

For years, I thought that the phrase "sleeping like a baby" was a bunch of BS. Sure they look like Angels when they're quiet and laying there, but it only lasts for a few minutes or hours at a time. And if that were true, then you could say that I used to sleep like a baby. But now that I have Kaylani, the phrase makes a lot more sense to me. I only wish I could really sleep like a baby too.

In the middle of the night...

I always knew that parenting included being up in the middle of the night to take care of my baby. I knew that it would be hard work, but that my body would adjust to the long days and nights eventually. What I didn't know is that my body would adjust...unnecessarily. For the 6th straight night, here I am. Awake in the middle of the night. All by myself. Where's Kaylani? Oh, she's sleeping in her crib. Did she cry and cause me to wake up? Nope, just me. Just me and my overactive brain. I used to think my overactive brain would help me be a better parent because I'd be up in the middle of the night anyways. So much for that thought.

I've actually learned a few things over the course of the last week. First off, it's REALLY quiet and dark between the hours of 1am and 6am. Okay, I guess I already knew that, but never quite realized HOW quiet and HOW dark it was. The second thing I learned is that Kaylani talks a lot in her sleep. I knew she moved a lot since she's always in a different position every time I look at the monitor, but I never realized how much she talks. If she talks this much in her sleep now, I'm afraid to think about how much she's going to talk in 13 years. Yikes. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Over the course of a few hours, Kaylani will make a few noises. Sometimes it's a little cry which makes me think she's going to wake up (but she doesn't). Other times it's a sigh. And the best times are when she just babbles a little bit (blah blah mamama papapapa) and then goes silent again. It's not long enough or loud enough for our monitor to pick it up (thankfully so it doesn't wake us Mommy up), but it's definitely loud enough for me to hear when I'm sitting in the guest room/office in the middle of the night.

Hopefully her sleeptalking doesn't mean she's not getting enough rest at night. I figure if she's only making a few noises over the course of a couple of hours, it's not that big of a deal. Plus, she's still sleeping (or playing/talking quietly in her crib for all we know) for 11-12 hours a night, so I bet she's okay. Whatever she does, I just hope she's not up for 4 hours in the middle of the night now or in the future. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone else...and especially not my little girl.

Aaaaand we're back!

And we're back. Finally home. Done with vacation. Thankfully. Don't get me wrong, I actually loved vacation. A week away from thinking about work (most of the time), drinks starting around noon, endless amounts of meat and seafood, and 8 full days to spend with my 2 girls and the rest of my family. What's not to love about vacation? Before I get into that, let me give you a recap of what there was to love about vacation.

During our 7 days in Cape May, we went to the pool for 2 days, the beach for 2 days, mini golf for 1 day, a lighthouse for 1 day, downtown for 2 days, grilled 5 days, out to dinner 2 days, the liquor store 3 days (to restock), out for ice cream 2 days, and played games at home every day and night. All of that happened between the hours of 6am and 1am. That was the good part. The other 5 hours of the day were bad enough to make us want to cut that 3 days short.

Almost every night we would put Kaylani to bed between 7pm and 8pm, just like we would at home. And every night she would be fast asleep and stay that way for hours at a time, so we would stay up and play games, drink, or just hang out with the fam. The problem was that when we would go to sleep (around 12am or 1am), Kaylani would wake up shortly after, like 2am. Then she'd be so awake that she'd be up and crawling all over us in bed or crying until 5am. It got so bad that we almost left on Thursday. Looking back, I'm glad we didn't, but man, we were really close.

We got home Saturday afternoon and finally took the time to unwind. It was a little mini-vacation from our vacation, but it was much needed, mainly because I caught a cold at some point along the way. Apparently no sleep, lots of alcohol and food, and a bit of sun is enough to make me catch a cold in the middle of summer. Luckily I was the only one who got sick, and even luckier, Kaylani played along with our mini-post-vacation vacation. Saturday night, she slept 8 hours then another 3 hours right away. Last night she slept 12 hours. Looks like we're not the only ones glad to be home.

Anyways, that about wraps up our vacation. I should be back to our regularly scheduled postings soon enough. And as an apology for all of you faithful readers, or to Kaylani's photo stalkers, here are pictures from our vacation in Cape May. Enjoy, and see you tomorrow!

Learning from the past

Something about Kaylani was a little off last night and today. Last night, she nursed for a real long time before bed, slept for 7 straight hours, but then woke up and fell back asleep twice between the hours of 4am and 6am. Then, she was up at 7:30am for good, and didn't nap until around 4pm, no matter how hard Mommy tried. She didn't nap in the swing, in her arms, or even in the car. And when she finally did nap, it was only for 20 minutes.

Normally we'd think Kaylani was just being a pain, but she actually wasn't a pain today according to Mommy. She wasn't whining or crying, and wasn't overly attached to Mommy, but it was just a long day. There were no signs of new teeth coming out, and no fever to think she was getting sick. It wasn't until she ate up 6oz of food at dinner without a problem that we figured it out. Growth spurt. A quick Google search on growth spurts confirmed our suspicions. There is a 9 month growth spurt. And wouldn't you know it, Kaylani's 3 days away from her 9 month birthday.

They say the best way to make it through a growth spurt is to feed her more. That explains why Kaylani nursed for so long last night. It also explains why she polished off 8oz of food tonight (green bean casserole and apples), still had room to take in about 10 puffs, and drank an ounce or so of water all during dinner. It also explains why she woke up randomly through the night, and why she didn't want to nap during the day.

We were waiting for something like this to happen. Unlike the 3 month and 6 month growth spurts that snuck up on us, we knew this day would come at 9 months just based on the fact that things were going a little too well. She was starting to sleep for 10 hours at a time again and she was eating her food without fussing too much. Before we were the extremely experienced parents that we are now, we would think that she would last like that forever. Now, we're just enjoying it before it goes away. And all signs point to it going away soon.

Hopefully this growth spurt goes by quickly and we can get her back to her normal schedule. Some growth spurts only last a few days. Some last a week. Either way, I just hope it's gone in the next 10 days because that's when Daddy's 1 week vacation from work begins, and vacation with a growth spurt baby isn't what I'm looking forward to. So bring it on growth spurt! Now please?

She's baaaaaack!

Is it true? Can it be? Is she back? Those are questions we asked ourselves this morning when Kaylani woke up at 6am. Waking up at 6am isn't exactly groundbreaking news, but it is when you consider the fact that she didn't cry at all last night after falling asleep quietly at 8:30pm. For the first time in over 2 weeks, Kaylani slept for 9+ hours straight. And when Kaylani sleeps for 9+ hours straight, all is right in the world again.

Not only does it make Mommy and Daddy get better sleep, but it makes Kaylani happier during the day (in my opinion). For the hour I got to see her this morning, she was smiling, energetic, and best of all, not fussy. Then, in the hour I got to play with her after work, she was eating, she was playing, and she was laughing. And from what I heard from Mommy, she wasn't too bad during the day either. And now that Kaylani is back asleep again, we find ourselves hoping that the answers to our questions this morning are all "Yes." And so far, all signs for "Will Kaylani sleep 9+ hours straight again?" seem to point to "Yes."

Sign #1: She ate all 4 oz of her food easily
Sign #2: She nursed for 30+ minutes
Sign #3: She closed her eyes a little bit when I kissed her before putting her in her crib
Sign #4: She stared at me after we put her in her crib but didn't cry
Sign #5: She cried for only a few seconds when I left the room, then found her bedtime monkey and played with that
Sign #6: She was asleep within 3 minutes of me leaving the room
Sign #7: It's been 90 minutes and she's barely moved and hasn't made a peep
Sign #8: We didn't even give her Infant's Motrin or Tylenol tonight for the first time in 3 nights

Those are 8 great signs that we're headed towards another great night of sleep for Kaylani. I only wish I could go to sleep now too and take advantage of it. Instead, I'm watching the All-Star game on ESPN Gamecast, and preparing for a10pm conference call at the same time. Speaking of which, I gotta run to that now. For those of you who don't have to work right now, check out my latest post at Dad-Blogs on some ways to fix the "All"-Star game!

Please Sir, can I have some Mo'

I couldn't tell you what the movie was about, or when I watched it, or really anything about it, but there is one thing that I remember distinctly about Oliver Twist. There's this one line in there where he carries his empty bowl up to the front and goes "Please Sir, can I have some mo'", and is answered with "Whaaaat? You want more????" I have no idea why that's been funny to me for the last 15 or so years, but it has been. And if Kaylani asks me that tonight, I'll fall over myself trying to give her more.

"Mo," in this case, means Motrin (Infants' Motrin of course). It didn't even hit us that we could try giving Kaylani Motrin instead of Tylenol for the last 2 months (not appropriate for children under 6 months). It wasn't until Danika mentioned it to us that we thought, hmm, we should give that a try since Motrin lasts longer (6-8 hours instead of 4). And try it we did. Early results are in, and they're gooooood!

Last night, Kaylani was asleep by 8pm. Before that though, she had 1.875ml of Infants' Motrin (odd measurement, but whatever). When she woke up at midnight, we were tempted to say "Motrin, you suck!" But after she cried for an hour and then passed out when Mommy nursed her, she slept from 1am all the way until 6:15am. The best part was that when she woke up at 6:15am, she didn't scream or cry. Instead she just laid in bed and played with her stuffed monkey, her feet, and anything else around her. It's morning like these that are the best to wake up to!

Of course Daddy woke up at 5:45am because that's what his body has adjusted to, but for the next hour he got to surf the web, catch up on some blogs and some sports, and listen to Kaylani play happily by herself until he went to get her around 6:45am. Then, after a bit of playing, and some breakfast, it was time to wake Mommy up (around 7:45am) so that Kaylani could nurse before a quick nap and swim class.

We're convinced that Motrin saved our day today. Kaylani was happy. Kaylani napped. Kaylani ate. Mommy slept in just a bit more. Daddy got to drive around and have coffee while listening to America's Country Top 40 with a napping Kaylani. All was good, and we have Motrin to thank. Motrin let Kaylani sleep for 9+ hours last night while only waking up once. Motrin let Kaylani survive the pain of her 3rd (and probably 4th) tooth are causing. Motrin makes the world go round.

We obviously gave Kaylani her dose of Motrin again tonight. And if it works again, you better believe that we're going to do it for another few nights too. While we'd rather not revert to "drugs" to have quiet nights, we're more than okay "trying" it for a few nights now. We promise we won't get dependent on it. That would be bad. But for now, it's all good. So Kaylani, if you want some mo', you can have some mo'. No ifs, ands, or whaaaats about it!

We've only just begun

A few days ago I asked for tooth number 2 to come in so we could be done with this phase of teething. It's been one week since tooth number 1 came out, but months of anticipation. Over the past few nights, she's been sleeping better. Not great. Just better. Instead of waking up every 2-4 hours, she's been lasting closer to 6 hours. And what keeps us running (barely, but running) is that we've been going to bed the same time as she has. So Kaylani's in bed at 8pm? Well then we'll be in bed and hopefully asleep by 9pm. It's pretty lame, but it works. And we figured it'd only be a short term routine anyways.

Today, Kaylani's 2nd tooth finally came in. It listened to our calls and poked its way on out. And since teeth come in twos, that means we're in the clear and Kaylani will go back to her regularly scheduled 9-11 hour sleep shifts. More importantly, Mommy and Daddy could go back to their regularly scheduled 8 hours of sleep, and still have time to stay up a little later and get some stuff done (and boy does Daddy need a few extra hours to get stuff/work done). But then we found out that we've only just begun.

Right next to Kaylani's 2nd tooth we can see our dreams of extra hours in the day and normal hours of sleep disappearing faster than the gums holding in Kaylani's 3rd tooth. A 3rd tooth? Seriously? Now? I really thought teeth came in two's and then took a break for awhile. A 3rd tooth on the horizon means more moving, more teething, more pain, and unfortunately, not more sleep. Sleep is something we all need to keep going. For Kaylani and Mommy, sleep makes them able to play all day, nap at reasonable times, and not be fussy. For Daddy, sleep means that I'm able to keep my head in the game during 10 straight hours of meetings and still be able to play with Kaylani for a few hours before getting actual work done at night. Sleep means so much to all of us, but we've only just begun.

Teething means Kaylani is growing which is great. I'm sure I'll echo this sentiment for many years to come, if not for the rest of my life, but sometimes I wish that Kaylani would just grow a little bit slower. I wish she would develop faster, but grow slower. Does that make any sense? I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't. I spend working hours ensuring that I make sense. Sleep would help me make sense all the time. Too bad we've only just begun.

Diaper Power

Sleeping through the night is a great thing. It really is. It let's the entire family not worry about waking up for anything for a solid 8 hours (or 10 hours if you sleep like Kaylani did last night). But the real fun is the next morning, and it's not just because we're well rested. It's not just because Kaylani greets us with a great big smile when we open her door and hover over her crib. It's not just because Mommy and Daddy feel completely relaxed and at ease. It's because our baby weighs about 10 lbs heavier then she did the night before.

Now, there are plenty of reasons Kaylani could gain weight over night, but only a few that would explain a weight gain of up to 10lbs. It's possible that she ate the monkey doll that we put in her crib with her at night now, but that wouldn't make much sense since the monkey only weighs 1/2 a pound or so. I mean, I guess it could have changed into something much heavier once it got inside her, but that would be unlikely.

She could have eaten the shirt off her back, literally. But I think that would pose much more problems than eating the doll. I mean, she'd have to figure out a way to get the shirt off, which requires her figuring out how to get it over her fat head.

It's also possible that she ate one of her own arms, but then I don't think she would have gained any weight since the arm was originally part of her weight. Plus, I hope she never knows what Coyote Ugly is, or more specifically, I hope she never has to actually experience it (probably will be impossible for her to be in a situation like that since she'll be locked up in her room until she's 30 anyways).

So I guess the only real reason she could have added 10lbs to her weight overnight would be due to the ridiculous amount of pee that she pumped into her diaper. Seriously, there are mornings when the diaper is starting to fall off of her when I pick her up because it's so heavy. These are the same times that I put a dent in the floor after throwing the diaper in the garbage. I mean, they're so wet (how wet are they?) that they leave wet pee outlines on the changing table if I put it down just for a second.

This may sound gross, but I wouldn't change a 10lb pee diaper for anything in the world (well, I would change it, but not CHANGE it). If she's got a 10lb pee diaper, then it probably means she slept for a solid 8+ hours. Or it could mean that we're mean parents and let her sit in her own pee all day instead of changing her, but that sounds mean so let's just stick with the 8+ hours of sleep scenario. So keep sleeping Kaylani, and I'll keep posting pictures like tonight. Check em out and hope Kaylani keeps on sleeping!

Repeating Sleep Training

Kaylani was sleeping so well for awhile. 10+ hours every night. No crying. Went down easy. Woke up refreshed and happy. And all of that meant Mommy and Daddy got 8+ hours of sleep, didn't cry, fell asleep real easy, and woke up refreshed and happy. Well that's gone. And we want it back. Now.

Kaylani's almost 7 months old and she's been a great sleeper pretty much the whole time so I really shouldn't complain that this latest stretch started last Saturday in Baltimore. But the fact that she's been a great sleeper is what makes times like this so very bad. It's like we're new parents again when this happens. We haven't adjusted to 2 hour naps at night because we haven't had to. I'm sure we'll adjust in a due time, but I'd rather not. We're going to fix this. Now.

Our intervention hasn't started before tonight because it's been a crazy week with the whole Baltimore trip, a short but intense work week, and then a weekend birthday party for Yeh Yeh (which by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEH YEH!!) with Daddy's side of the family in town. All of that basically meant that when Kaylani cried at night, one of us went and picked her up to calm her down. And since she's learned to manipulate us by crying, she would wait for us to pick her up, then pass out immediately. It ends tonight.

I know I sound really mean right now, especially to those of you who don't believe in sleep training, but it has to happen. And because sleep training means that we let her cry it out for an entire night whether it's 20 minutes or 3 hours, I feel real mean doing it, but it's worked. Every time we've had to do this (which is twice), she's gone back to sleeping 10+ hours all by herself for at least a couple of weeks. So it has to be done. Tonight.

We may be rushing into this, but there's a reason it has to be tonight. Other than the fact that we're really dragging lately because of this lack of sleep, there's the fact that we have another trip coming up. In 3 weeks, we're headed to Cape Cod for 4 days for Tommy and Gretchen's wedding, which means we'll be sleeping away from home again. But more specifically, Cape Cod marks the first time Kaylani will go to sleep without us because Yin Yin is going to watch her while we're at the wedding. And if she's waking up every 2 hours without us, it's not going to be pretty for Yin Yin.

No matter how bad we're going to feel tonight as we sit in bed and listen to her cry while staring at her through the video monitor, hopefully we'll stay strong. We've made this decision together because it's going to work in the long run. It better work in the long run. Please let it work in the long run.

Right or wrong?

Last night was one of the more trying nights we've had with Kaylani. We thought we had put nights like that behind us when we survived sleep training 3 months ago, but we were wrong. Our first attempt at sleep training was nothing compared to what we went through last night. And we're hoping that was the last of it.

After surviving the cows during the day yesterday, Kaylani gave us all the signs that we were in for a good night. She nursed well, she burped well, and she was sleepy but awake when we put her down for bed. She even played by herself for 10 minutes before falling asleep all on her own around 8:30pm. So for awhile, Kaylani looked like she was back to her good sleeping habits.

But then 12:45am rolled around. We woke up to Kaylani crying, but we held off on doing anything. We had to break her of this crying for someone to get her habit she was getting into because she was just manipulating us. If she would just re-learn how to fall asleep on her own, we'd be okay going forward. After an hour, I went in to turn her around and calm her down, which didn't work. After two hours, we were on the verge of giving in but had to stay strong. Our pediatrician urged us to stay strong so she didn't learn that crying gets results.

After two and a half hours we were at our breaking point. Mommy had to get up and leave the room. She resorted to the computer to help distract her from running into Kaylani's room and picking her up. Daddy sat on the edge of the bed for awhile and stared at the video monitor while listening to her cry. 15 minutes later, or two hours and 45 minutes after Kaylani started crying, she fell silent. She finally fell asleep.

Mommy couldn't even come back to the room right away. She needed to calm down just a bit more before she could even think about sleeping. "Why did we have a baby if we're going to let her do that" was the only thing she could get out of her mouth before breaking down. "Because we're teaching her to sleep in the future" was the only answer I could give, and last night, even I wasn't convinced. It was a tough night, but we survived. Barely, but we survived.

Now many parents will probably tell us we were wrong to let her cry for so long. That we should run to her and comfort her because she needs our support and she's too young. Others will tell us that we did the right thing, and that it really will pay off in the future. Right now, we're not sure if we did the right thing or the wrong thing yet. We do know that she cried again tonight for an hour before finally falling asleep, but she fell asleep on her own, and that's what matters.

If she cries again in the middle of the night, I'm not sure what we'll do. I'm not even sure what we can handle at this point. We're just hoping that we don't have to make that decision again tonight. We're hoping that what we went through last night will prevent us from having to make that decision for a long time. We'll know what happened in the morning, and I sure hope that morning comes quickly because I won't have any answers to give otherwise.

Sleep-rolling through the night

You always wonder what parents consider "the night" when they say "my (insert child's name here) slept through the night last night!" Everyone has their own definition of "the night", with most people considering thigns like 12am-6am as "the night." Well last night, Kaylani slept through the night. And trust me, Mommy and Daddy have a much longer definition of "the night."

Kaylani was asleep by 8pm last night on the dot. Every night before Mommy goes to bed, she counts off 4 hours and assumes that's when Kaylani will wake up. So when we crawled into bed at 11pm, Mommy said "9, 10, 11, 12am...that's when she'll be up." I'm not exactly sure why Mommy does that since Kaylani averages closer to 6 hours, but it's never good to set expectations too high, especially when not meeting those expectations means waking up 2 hours earlier than expected. So anyways, 12am came and went, and Mommy was still sleeping.

Mommy woke up a few times after midnight just to take a peek at Kaylani and each time she found her fast asleep still. It wasn't until 5am that Mommy and Daddy both woke up to the sounds of baby talk. She wasn't crying so we let her be and laid in bed trying to fall back asleep. It wasn't until Mommy took a closer look at the monitor that we realized Kaylani was on her belly!

To our knowledge, Kaylani has only rolled over onto her belly once, and that was a week ago. And that time, she cried after a few minutes of being on her belly, and it was around 8am so Mommy just picked her up. This time, we stared at her on her belly reaching out for her bumpers and just talking to herself. After a few minutes, her head was down and she was still. Mommy, being the constant worrier, debated whether or not she should sneak a closer peek. Of course she ended up going in and sure enough, Kaylani was asleep, on her belly, for the very first time (again, to our knowledge).

As exciting as it was, Daddy went back to sleep. Mommy however stayed staring at the monitor to make sure that she could react in case Kaylani needed us. Around 6am, she woke Daddy up and said "she rolled back over!" to which the response was an incomprehensible grunt of approval. Around 7:30am, Kaylani gave her "wake up cry" and we knew it was time.

In total, Kaylani spent 11.5 hours in her crib before she got out. Our best guess is that she slept approximately 11 of them, which blows away her previous 9.75 straight hours of sleep she accomplished just about a month ago. So no matter whose definition of "slept through the night" you use, I'm pretty sure that Kaylani's sleep last night would hold up. Let's just hope she sleeps through the night again tonight. Or to avoid any confusion, let's hope she sleeps 11-12 hours tonight. It's best she gets it in now before her teeth start coming in. I've heard that's when it all goes down the diaper genie.