What the?!?

There are certain things that just come out of your mouth instinctively. For example, if someone punches you, you say "ow." If someone is about to run across the street into traffic, you might yell "stop!" If you drive by a cow (or a horse or a goat), you'll say "mooooo" (no? just me?). If you see a bale of hay, you say "hey!" to get people to look (no? just me again?). Or if you look into your baby's diaper and see a lot of light brown that looks to be liquidy, you say "what the?!?!?"

Tonight, Kaylani's diaper gave us a "what the?!?!?" moment. We were getting Kaylani ready for bed when Mommy asked Daddy to look at something. Daddy, being as innocent as he is, went over to Mommy to take a look. That's when Mommy pulled the back of Kaylani's diaper away from her so Daddy could look down into the abyss. "What the?!?!?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth. Stepping back a step was the first movement I did. Of course Mommy didn't have a good answer to "what the?!?!?" and frankly, neither did Daddy. The more concerning part was that it was light brown, looked extremely liquidy, and there was a lot of it. The "there was a lot of it" part was definitely the most concerning.

According to Mommy, Kaylani made a short farting noise and then "that" happened. We tried to think of what could have been the cause. She did have Country Chicken Apple Compote (or something like this), and it sure did look like it was some sort of compote in her diaper, but that didn't make sense since this was Day 2 and her poop was normal before this. Maybe it was the Gerber Corn Puffs we gave her at Babies R' Us today, but that didn't make sense either because one puff (or 20) shouldn't have come out looking like 300 puffs mashed together. So we had no real cause, and just figured it was because she hadn't pooped in a good 24 hours and has been stuffed full of food since then.

Thinking back some more, it explained why she randomly started crying after dinner and before bedtime while she was playing with her bucket of blocks. At the time, it didn't make sense for her to make a really sad face and start crying when Mommy and Daddy clapped after she put a piece back in the bucket. Thinking she just didn't want us to clap, we let her keep playing on her own, but she kept making sad faces and crying. Turns out she didn't care if we clapped, except for the fact that it forced her to poop her own weight out at that very moment.

Anyways, after changing Kaylani on the floor with one leg over her chest to prevent her from moving (thanks for the advice WeaselMomma!), we examined her poop a little bit closer (one of the joys of parenting). Turns out it wasn't liquidy at all. It was just a lot of light brown poop that was smushed real flat (which I guess happens when she poops out a beer cans worth of poop and then sits on it and rolls on it for 10 minutes). Now she's nursing and just about ready for bed. I think Mommy put it best when she said "let's hope she doesn't poop like that while she's sleeping." Let's hope so indeed because frankly, I'm not sure the crib can support that amount of added weight.

Flip Flop

Flip. Flop. Back. Belly. Flip. Flop. Back. Belly. Repeat that sequence about 10 more times and you have Kaylani's nighttime performance. Luckily she doesn't wake up every time she flips or flops, but she has been trying to escape her crib around 4am each morning. Even luckier for us is that she'll usually go back to sleep for another 3 hours if Mommy nurses. Since she's getting 11 hours of sleep in total during the night, she can flip and flop as much as she wants in her crib. Kinda.

The great crib escape is something Mommy and I have been dreading for quite awhile. She can't exactly pull herself up yet, and she's barely getting from down to sit as it is, but the way she's developing we just never know when it'll happen. A few nights of waking up to Kaylani whining to get out of her crib, and seeing her tugging on her bumpers trying to either get up or get out was enough to cause us to take action. Tonight, we lowered her crib one more level. Now her mattress is a a good 1.5 feet from the top which means she'll have to work pretty hard to get out. There's only one more level to go. Hopefully our backs won't give out before we get to that next level. So far so good.

Taking care of the worry around flipping and flopping in bed was the easy thing to do. Figuring out what we're going to do with her on the changing table is a completely different story. There, it's not flip, flop, back, belly. Instead it's flip, crawl, bang head on wall, grab edge of table, pull, roll, and try and jump off the 3' ledge. Now repeat that 10 times and you have Kaylani's diaper change routine. No matter how many times we pick her up and put her on her back, she'll immediately flip over and try and make a break for it. In bed? Kinda cute. On a changing table? Not so cute. On a changing table without a diaper? Definitely not cute (okay, still kinda cute, but don't tell Kaylani that).

A few months ago we laughed at our friends Steve and Lisa when they showed us that it took 2 of them to change Aidan's diaper. One of them would hold him by the arms and belly while the other changed his diaper. At the time, it seemed ridiculous that they would need 2 people to overpower their baby. Now, I'm thinking that we need 3 of us, or perhaps a restraining strap attachment for the changing table to keep Kaylani still. Karma sucks.

Kaylani's new diaper change routine is still new enough to us that we're okay avoiding any type of restraining device for the moment, but if she keeps it up, that all might change. After all, safety comes first, and giving her the chance to pull herself off the 3' ledge and onto the ground (or into the garbage can/diaper genie that happens to be on that side of the table) doesn't sound like a good thing. We'll see what happens, but in the meantime, check out these pictures from the last couple of days. Unfortunately none of them are of Kaylani hanging off of the changing table because we can't spare a set of arms for a picture during diaper changing time!

And when you're done checking out those pictures, don't forget to check out Dad-Blogs for the latest installment of Fatherhood Fridays! There's always a great bunch of reads over there to keep you busy for the weekend. You'll love it. Trust me, or your money back!

Diaper Power

Sleeping through the night is a great thing. It really is. It let's the entire family not worry about waking up for anything for a solid 8 hours (or 10 hours if you sleep like Kaylani did last night). But the real fun is the next morning, and it's not just because we're well rested. It's not just because Kaylani greets us with a great big smile when we open her door and hover over her crib. It's not just because Mommy and Daddy feel completely relaxed and at ease. It's because our baby weighs about 10 lbs heavier then she did the night before.

Now, there are plenty of reasons Kaylani could gain weight over night, but only a few that would explain a weight gain of up to 10lbs. It's possible that she ate the monkey doll that we put in her crib with her at night now, but that wouldn't make much sense since the monkey only weighs 1/2 a pound or so. I mean, I guess it could have changed into something much heavier once it got inside her, but that would be unlikely.

She could have eaten the shirt off her back, literally. But I think that would pose much more problems than eating the doll. I mean, she'd have to figure out a way to get the shirt off, which requires her figuring out how to get it over her fat head.

It's also possible that she ate one of her own arms, but then I don't think she would have gained any weight since the arm was originally part of her weight. Plus, I hope she never knows what Coyote Ugly is, or more specifically, I hope she never has to actually experience it (probably will be impossible for her to be in a situation like that since she'll be locked up in her room until she's 30 anyways).

So I guess the only real reason she could have added 10lbs to her weight overnight would be due to the ridiculous amount of pee that she pumped into her diaper. Seriously, there are mornings when the diaper is starting to fall off of her when I pick her up because it's so heavy. These are the same times that I put a dent in the floor after throwing the diaper in the garbage. I mean, they're so wet (how wet are they?) that they leave wet pee outlines on the changing table if I put it down just for a second.

This may sound gross, but I wouldn't change a 10lb pee diaper for anything in the world (well, I would change it, but not CHANGE it). If she's got a 10lb pee diaper, then it probably means she slept for a solid 8+ hours. Or it could mean that we're mean parents and let her sit in her own pee all day instead of changing her, but that sounds mean so let's just stick with the 8+ hours of sleep scenario. So keep sleeping Kaylani, and I'll keep posting pictures like tonight. Check em out and hope Kaylani keeps on sleeping!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

I'm not sure what is scarier: the fact that Kaylani is 4 weeks old today, or that Christmas is less than 3 weeks away. With time at a premium nowadays, we took advantage of the weekend and headed out to get some key Christmas activities out of the way. This being our first year in our own house in the Northeast, there were a few necessities we had to buy before we could pick up our tree. So a trip to Lowe's for a tree stand and some lights and basic ornaments (great sale going on right now!), followed by a lunch break for all of us at Houlihan's (very kid friendly!), and then it was on to the tree yard.

We picked a short, fat tree that reminded Mommy of Daddy (her words), tied it to the roof, and we were off. While we were at it, we also picked up a ring of firewood (~100 pieces) because Christmas isn't officially Christmas unless you've got a fire going (also helps to keep non-Santa people from coming down the chimney). So now, the tree is up, the fire is ready to go, and the lights/ornaments are sitting in a bag next to the tree (hey, you can only get so much done with a baby around).

Actually, the reason we're not officially ready for Christmas is that we had our first holiday party tonight. It was at our friend's house and we were a little nervous to take Kaylani to her first party EVER! I mean, it was definitely kid friendly (there were about 7 kids, rhe youngest of them being 15 months), but still, we weren't sure how Kaylani would behave. But like every other adventure we've had, she did great!

And like every other adventure we've had, we also had a poop related incident. We thought we'd be safe since it was at a home less than 10 minutes away, but we had a little miscalculation. Apparently we were in a bit of a rush since we didn't refill the diaper bag after our afternoon errands. We had 3 diapers, which for 3 hours, is normally plenty. But what started as an easy pee change turned into a "three-fer" when pee turned to poo, and poo, turned into more poo. In case you didn't notice, the "public blowout" tracker in the upper right has been increased to 4.

Kaylani had finished eating, pooping, pooping, and eating (in that order) and we were ready to go back to the party. All seemed well, but we were out of diapers. We were essentially flying without a net, and if she decided she wasn't done, well then we would have been. She ended up not going again until we got home, and she was great. She was passed around from person to person so that they could get their "newborn fix" out of their system, and she stayed her cute little self for each one of them. I actually would not be surprised if there was a mini "baby boom" 9 months from now!

So it's been a long, eventful day, and all 3 of us are ready to call it a night. The original plan was to finish decorating the tree tonight, but it ain't gonna happen. It's time for this one to get some sleep, and that one to stay asleep, so come back tomorrow and hopefully I'll have pictures up of our entire family's first Christmas tree! Oh, and it's snowing right now (and sticking!) so maybe Daddy will have to shovel tomorrow with a Baby Bjorn on (just kidding).

Getting Rid of the Devil

We went to Church today for the first time since Kaylani was born. We thought it would be good to cleanse our mind, and good for Kaylani to experience what Church was, since we plan on doing it every week. What we didn't know was that it would cleanse more than our mind.

We were about 5 minutes late to Church, so Mass had already started and the Church was packed. It was also raining, so I dropped Mommy, Yin Yin, Yea Yea, and Kaylani off at the door and went to park the car. When I got in, I saw them all getting into an aisle, and of course, we didn't have the end. I excused myself in and took a seat. We were through the Gospel in no time and Kaylani was calm as could be. She just sat in her car seat and stared at the people, the beautiful stained glass windows, and just enjoyed the music and the readings.

Then IT happened. She started to cry, and if you've been reading along with the Daddy Diaries, you know what IT usually is. Mommy picked her up and immediately noticed that she was wet. Wet like Chinese Restaurant wet. And since Daddy was the closest to the aisle, he was handed the diaper bag and a wet Kaylani and sent walking.

So, Kaylani and Daddy excused our way out and headed for the closest bathroom. For those of you who are good with measurements, it was a 4'x2' bathroom that had a toilet on one end, and a sink on the other. Standard size toilet, and standard size sink means that there was roughly 2' in the middle. For those not good with measurements, picture one of those mall photo booths, but a tiny bit roomier. Of course there was no changing table, but luckily the toilet seat had a cover, and it looked clean, so I went to work.

Out comes the changing mat with its two pockets (one for diapers, one for wipes). I unzipped both pockets and took out the necessary tools, except the wipes came out in a group of 5, and there was nowhere to put them so I had to separate them out and lay them neatly on the backpack. Oh, and Kaylani was pinned against me with my left arm this whole time. After I had everything laid out, Kaylani was laid on the changing mat covered toilet seat (which, was slightly curved as most are by the way), so I had to hold her steady all the time.

The next step was the clothes. Off come the pants, which used to be brown, but now were brown with yellow splotches. Then, there was onesie number one, which had a cute cow that looked like she had her own little accident. Of course, since this was a pull over your head onesie, it had to be rolled up as to contain the poop. Onesie number 2, which was a plain white short sleeve onesie, was no longer plain white. It basically served as diaper #2 and took the brunt of the blowout. Same thing happened, and it had to be rolled up and over her head. Then I got to work on cleaning her.

Now, all this rolling and pulling did 2 things. First, it rubbed off on the changing mat, so now that had poop on it. Second, it left me with a poop covered Kaylani, and a poop covered changing mat, and nowhere else to turn. If I put a clean diaper on her while she was on the changing mat, poop would be on the outside of the diaper then. So, I picked her up (bare naked and poop covered) and went to wipe down the mat, except I ran out of wipes. By this point, Kaylani had enough, so she was crying and squirming in my arms. The wipes, securely in a zipper pocket hanging off the mat, wanted nothing to do with me, so I gave up. I folded the mat back in half, and put her down on an even smaller changing surface now (still on top of a toiliet in case you forgot).

Then I dressed her as quick as possible, which was not quick since it consisted of a long sleeve onesie and then a button up body suit, which for organization sake, was already buttoned and had to be UNbuttoned to be put on. Finally, Kaylani was clean, dressed, and ready to go. Now all we had to do was clean up our work area. Diaper mat in the bag, plastic bag (of course at the bottom of the diaper bag) taken out, poopy clothes put away, poopy diaper disposed of and covered by a mountain of paper towels, and then we're ready to go.

I headed back into the Church after what seemed like a long time. I think it was actually about 10 minutes, which I thought was pretty good. Oh, and as I held her in my hands for the rest of Mass, she also spit up on me. And did I have a burp cloth handy? Yep! But was it over my shoulder? Umm...no. Anyways, that was our Church experience. If I had known that Church was going to cleanse Kaylani like that, I probably would have gone better prepared. But, as Mommy pointed out to me, next time, I could probably just use the bigger bathroom down the hall that has a counter and is about 6'x6'. Sigh...

Anyways, check out a few pictures from the last 2 days. There aren't many, but they're still adorable pictures of Daddy's little girl. Enjoy!

Baby, you're full of...poop!

We are making a TON of progress over here at the Tam household. Tonight, we see if we can keep that momentum up. Before I dive into today's crap, here's last night's recap:

Kaylani had a nice sponge bath at 8pm, followed by some quiet time (nursing), and then she went quietly off to bed. If you recognize the routine, then you've tried (or read about) the Johnson's 3-step sleep routine! Well, if you replace bed with car seat, then that's exactly what we did last night. After a tip from our pediatrician to let Kaylani sleep in a car seat to help keep her close and warm, she made it 4 straight hours before waking up! Slept 9pm to 1am, nursed until 2am, slept til 4, nursed until 4:30, then slept until 6...all in the carseat! At 6, mommy took her into the glider and stayed there until 8, which is when I got up and watched Saved By The Bell and Sportscenter with her before we kicked off the day. I thought we could help the sleeping in a carseat process by making "vroom vroom" car noises, but that turned out to be wrong. Oh well, I guess we'll just stick with the carseat by itself for now.

So to get into today's topic of poop, Kaylani hadn't gone #2 since leaving the hospital, which in the world of babies, is a doo doo no no. Thankfully, she passed a bit of "mud" around 4:30pm yesterday, so we avoided the unpleasant business of a suppository. We were told that if she didn't have some "brown gold" for 24 hours that we would have to get her checked again. After entertaining Kaylani's first non-family visitors (thanks for coming Danika and Amanda!), the clock started ticking down. We were down to the wire and we checked to see if there was any "gas" left in the tank. What we got, was a whole lot more than gas.

Picture a baby, on a changing table attachment of a pack and play, getting ready to be changed. Her pants are being pulled down, a sock falls off, but just one. There are 3 buttons holding her onesie in place, and they slowly get undone, one by one. The onesie is pulled up above her waist, both legs held in one hand and high up in the air, and the first side of the diaper is unlatched. But wait, the dad freezes just for a second. He thinks the diaper looks a little...dark. He is overcome with joy! His baby girl has avoided a trip to the pediatrician! But something is wrong. He tries to restrain himself from unlatching the other side of the diaper. He hears his brain telling him to slow down. Telling him to call for mommy who will come make everything better like she always does, but his mouth isn't moving fast enough. In fact, his mouth isn't moving at all. And now...now, it's too late. The diaper is undone, it hits the changing pad, and that's when it all went...brown.

Finally, his mouth moves. Time speeds back up into realtime, and now he's calling out for backup. "Backup! BACKUP!" he yells. Mommy comes over in a flash, and she too experiences the same feeling that something has gone terribly right and terribly wrong at the same time. But she is much more in control, but not IN control. Together, they scramble. Wipes are flying around left and right, diapers being taken up and put down. Paper towels are being used as makeshift tarps, more wipes, more diapers. But it's no use. They're overmatched. They're knee deep in poop! It's coming out faster then they can handle it. It's like a chocolate soft serve ice cream machine with the handle stuck in the "on" position. Finally, the poop machine, I mean the baby's butt, turns off. More wipes. More diapers. They think it's over. But it's not. Baby's not done with us. Not yet. More wipes. More diapers. More wipes. Eventually they give up. At the next break, they throw a diaper back on baby and call it quits. They know when they've been defeated, but they'll live to fight another day.

And that's enough detail for today, or probably a lifetime for all you non-baby experienced readers. But for those of you who do have kids, or have experiences with kids, tell me if you think I'm off, or feel free to share your own experiences. As parents, we might be on to a new form of birth control via storytelling! For now, I'm going to rest up for the night and just be glad that we avoided a trip to the pediatrician. Can't wait to see what our next adventure together is, because no matter what it is, I'm going to cherish them all.