You're cut off

Tonight was the night. For the first time in 13 months and 3 days, Kaylani has been cut off officially. Tonight, Kaylani went to bed without nursing. Last week, she went to bed without nursing, but that was more like passing out. Tonight, she "voluntarily" went to bed without nursing. And I had front row seats to see it all unfold.

The plan involved Mommy being out of the house for the entire bedtime routine. The thought behind this was that if Kaylani even saw her at any point, she'd freak out...more so. So after dinner, Mommy said good night as Kaylani and I went upstairs for bath time. To make sure she was nowhere close, she left completely to get some holiday shopping down around town. That meant it was just Daddy and Kaylani in the house at bedtime. Woah.

I had no idea what to expect besides a lot of crying. This was all new for all 3 of us, so the only thing we anticipated was a lot of crying. Bath time went well with only a little crying (but that was because she slipped in the tub and splashed water on her face). Getting dressed went by without any crying. We even got through Goodnight Gorilla and Hush Little Polar Bear without any crying. But when it was time to flick off the lights and close the door, with no Mommy in sight, Kaylani knew something was up.

When the lights went on, the tears and crying started. She wiggled, she squirmed, and did everything she could to get down so she could open the door and look for Mommy. She screamed louder in case Mommy was still somewhere within the neighborhood and could hear her. She pushed herself sideways in my arms to see if that was an easier way out. She even did the hands and arms over the head trick to see if she could slide out. But I had a good grip on her and was determined to get her sleepy in my arms.

After 10 minutes of swaying, bouncing, walking, and singing songs that I was making up on the spot ("good night sweetheart well its time to sleep. lay down your head and don't make a peep. Close your eyes and drift away. Tomorrow will be time to play"), she started rubbing her eyes more frequently and screaming a little bit less. As I got closer to the crib, she pushed away from me which meant it was time to put her down. This is where the nerves kicked in. Was she going to scream and cry for hours? Would sleep training work? Was it mean? Should I just give up and pick her up again? All questions that I didn't have the answer to.

After her standing up and me kissing her and laying her back down 5 times, I decided it was time to leave the room. After a check-in with Mommy to give her the update, I went back in after 5 minutes to comfort Kaylani a little bit. Fortunately she was still laying down (which was a good sign). After a few "shhhs" and a few rubs of her belly (which she pushed my hand away from...another good sign), I kissed her on the forehead and left the room again. The next 6 minutes were agonizing as I stared at the monitor and listened to her cry while pulling at her ears...but still laying down. And then it happened. At 7 minutes. Silence.

She was quiet. She was laying on her side, with both arms on her left ear, but she was quiet. At the next "check-in" 3 minutes later, I didn't even go in because she was definitely asleep. Hands still on her ear, but definitely asleep. That was it. I survived. No, WE survived. And after texting Mommy to let her know, she responded with "I can breathe again!" Truer words were never spoken.

So night one of no nursing went relatively well. 13 minutes of crying in her crib plus 10 in my arm before that? Not too bad. Could've been a lot worse. Funny enough, yesterday she cried for 35+ minutes...and that was just a normal bedtime WITH nursing. Maybe this whole non-nursing thing isn't going to be so bad. In fact, I'm thinking it's going to be a real good thing. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes first.

And speaking of the weekend, for the first time in a LONG time, happy Fatherhood Friday! Don't forget to check out the other posts at Dad-Blogs. Even though I haven't written for them in a long time, they're still there going strong and doing great, so head on over! That's where I'm going now too.

The End Is Near...

So the time has finally come. What we thought might have happened at 6 months, 9 months, and then at a year, has finally come. It's been 13 months in the waiting, and now our wait is no more. The only problem is, we have no idea what to do. We have no idea how to do it. And we have no idea if it's going to work.

This weekend, Kaylani is going to go to bed without nursing...for the rest of her life. To this day, it's only happened once, and that was 3 days ago in Orlando and it was only because Kaylani passed out on the bus ride home. She was so tired that she let us change her clothes and transfer her into her pack and play without even waking up. Something tells me that this weekend will be nothing like that.

Kaylani's pediatrician recommends that Mommy nurses Kaylani for as long as she can, but with Kaylani having 6+ teeth now, nursing has become far from enjoyable. We actually meant for Kaylani to stop nursing right at her one year birthday, but with guests, holidays, and vacation, the right time never came about. This weekend though, is the right time. This weekend is the first weekend we've had home without distractions for almost a month. This weekend is when I can be around to put Kaylani to sleep without Mommy. This weekend is it. So...what now?

My gut feeling is that this isn't going to go well. Kaylani is going to cry. She's going to scream. She's going to figure out that it's just me and her reading a book. She's going to realize something is up when she's drinking her bottle with me instead of nursing from Mommy. She's going to find it odd that she's brushing her teeth after her bottle instead of right after bathtime like normal. And most of all, she's going to freak out when Mommy kisses her on the head and then leaves just the two of us in the room.

It might not be that different from sleep training I guess, except this time she might not be drowsy, but not asleep. This time, she'll be on alert, and when I put her in her crib, it'll kick in that she didn't nurse. Hopefully we can do 5 min, then 10 min more, then 15 min more without giving in and sending Mommy in to nurse. Hopefully that's all it takes, because if it goes on longer, who knows what we'll be able to do. And then, let's just hope that we don't have to go through it for several days/weeks in a row.

So D-Day is 2 days away from now. Any suggestions? Or better yet, anyone want to come babysit while Mommy and Daddy leave the house? No? Just us? Alright, well then I guess we'll see what happens! Wish us luck!

Kaylani's First Tooth!

Kaylani's been acting up for the last couple of days. She hasn't been eating well, she hasn't been nursing well, and she definitely hasn't been napping or sleeping well. We thought that maybe we had screwed her up with all our travel plans and general craziness over the last couple of weeks. We thought maybe she was getting a little cold and fussy because of it. We thought maybe she was even teething, but then again, we've been thinking that for 4 months. Turns out that this time we were finally right about the teething.

Daddy got a text message from Mommy today saying "Good news! Can't wait 2 tell u. Stupid mtg of urs!" And since Daddy was in his "stupid mtg" I didn't get news of Mommy's discovery of her first tooth until an hour later. Finally we could celebrate her first tooth (for real, unlike 3 months ago on April Fools' Day)! But the way Mommy discovered the tooth wasn't exactly the most pleasant.

Apparently nursing and teeth don't mix well. We've heard stories from friends who have nursed babies with teeth and barely lived to tell about it. And now that Kaylani has a tooth, Mommy came clean and said she was secretly hoping Kaylani wouldn't have a tooth anytime soon. For the last few days, Mommy's been saying that Kaylani's not doing something right, or something is different, but there was never anything we could pinpoint. Today though, it became clear as day and when she checked, there it was!

When I got home to see the tooth, it took me 5 minutes to get Kaylani to stop trying to lick my finger so I could just see her tooth. And since we're being honest, I was kinda disappointed when I finally saw it. For some reason I was expecting like a real little person tooth to just be hanging out there, like those cartoon pictures of a baby with 2 or 3 curly hairs, and 1 or 2 teeth just hanging out in their wide open mouth. Instead, I saw the very tip of a tooth poking out through her gums. Still exciting, but just not up to my unrealistic expectations I guess. Silly Daddy.

So Kaylani has her first tooth, and she's not afraid to use it either. She chomped down (or up I guess since it's her bottom tooth) on me and it definitely felt like a tooth. My favorite is to tell Mommy that she has no idea what that feels like, but then I just look away when I get the dirty stare back from her. Apparently nursing moms don't find teeth funny. Anyways, we're very excited that Kaylani is all growed up again with her first real tooth. Soon the rest will come filing in, but until then, we'll celebrate this one and start to take care of it. The tricky part will be seeing how Mommy handles it!

And since it's Thursday/Friday, don't forget to check out Dad-Blogs for the latest Fatherhood Friday! I can't wait to spend the first part of my July 4th holiday reading up on all the other great posts over there, so you should too. Enjoy and Happy 4th and Fatherhood Friday!

Sorry, We're Closed

I'm going to talk about something that I know very little about: Nursing. I haven't done it since I was a baby and frankly I don't remember it anyways. I've definitely never nursed Kaylani either and lucky for me, she's never tried to nurse from me. But I do see a lot of nursing going on. Let me clarify, I do see Kaylani nursing quite often (just wanted to make it quite clear that I don't spend a lot of time watching other moms nurse their babies). And there are certain things I can see which means I'm highly qualified to talk about them.

There are times when Kaylani's not all too interested in nursing. She'll nurse for a minute, then pop off to see what's going on around her. Then maybe go back for a bit, and then right back out. It's like the girl doesn't want to miss a thing. When you think about it, it's kinda cute. At least to me it is. To Mommy, not so much.

This is where I cross over from what I see to what I hear. I can see Kaylani turning her head in then out over and over again, but I have no idea what that feels like. However, Mommy does tell me about it. More specifically, she tells Kaylani to cut the crap or she's gonna get fired. Apparently it doesn't feel that good. So after a few drive by nursings on Kaylani's part, Mommy calls it quits for a minute and closes shop.

The funny part is that Kaylani has no idea that she's been cut off until she turns back for her next shot. It's kinda like being cut off at a bar. You think everything is going just fine and you're just having a good time checking things out, but then when you go back for another round, you're persona non grata. Most people in this situation would cause an uproar. Scream, shout, make crazy arm motions to try and get your point across that you didn't deserve to be cut off. Well, Kaylani's no different in that regards.

Unlike the drunks at the bar, Kaylani doesn't get cut off for the night very often. It usually takes a few minutes of calming her down before she's ready to nurse for real. And on good days and nights, she'll have learned her lesson and not take any quick shots. She knows better so she'll stock up like a chipmunk in the winter just in case the shop closes on her again. Or on bad nights like tonight, she'll be content not nursing and just stare at Mommy or Daddy with a big ol' grin on her face instead of nursing. The glow of Papi's face in the laptop might just be too compelling for her to nurse, so I guess I should wrap it up. So move along now. We're closed.

Get your hand out of my mouth

Kaylani's been chomping on her hand for awhile now, and it's kinda cute (except for the drool). But the part that is funny is when she wants us to chomp on her hand. She just sticks her hand right up in our mouth and expects us to chomp on it. Then she'll usually give out a little giggle and we'll do it all over again. Oh, and I forgot to mention that it drives Mommy crazy.

Apparently Mommy isn't a big fan of the Kaylani's hand in our mouth game. It's not because it's not fun or because it isn't cute. She isn't a fan because Kaylani does it while she's nursing, and that's when it becomes not cute and not fun. I mean, I personally still think it's both, but I guess it's annoying to Mommy. Let's find out why:

Daddy: Soooo, why do you find Kaylani's hand in your mouth so annoying?
Mommy: Ay, because! Somebody reaching for your face and blehhh and wanting to put her finger in my mouth. It's annoying! And I'm breastfeeding and it's annoying! If you did it, it'd be annoying too. And she does it everywhere! At home, in public, doesn't matter. All the time. So cut it out. Plus she scratches my face.

I was going to do that as a long interview session and write it as a back and forth conversation, but I haven't had a chance to ask anymore because Mommy is still going on about it (she's since added "it's just annoying! Look at her now!" and a few other things about facial cleanliness this late in the day).

I'm not convinced that I've taught her to do this to Mommy, and I think a large part of it is that she likes to hold on to something while she's nursing and Mommy's mouth just happens to be within her reach. But I get blamed for things like this. I just got blamed for teaching Kaylani to "blow bubbles" and the fact that Kaylani just spits bubbles all day. Luckily I'm used to getting blamed for things. And as long as putting Kaylani's hand in my mouth or blowing bubbles makes Kaylani happy, then I'll accept that blame anytime.

For now, I'm going to go take Kaylani's hand out of Mommy's mouth so she can finish nursing and go to sleep. You can take a look at the last couple of days of pictures in the meantime. And after that, this guy is officially on a 1 day vacation so he can head up to the new Yankee Stadium for the home opener. Maybe next year I'll take Kaylani with me.

Burp Baby Burp

When it's just family around, Daddy may let loose a burp or two right at the dinner table. I know it's kinda rude (even if it is just family), but the way I look at it, I'm helping Kaylani. Mommy disagrees with me of course, but if you really think about it, burping after eating is exactly what we need Kaylani to learn. And since burping Kaylani has been taking longer and longer, it can't hurt to show her the way, right?

Kaylani's never been the best burper. Even when she was first born, it would take us several minutes to get a good burp out of her after she nursed or took a bottle (you know, back when she used to take the bottle). It didn't matter if we did the sit and burp, the over the shoulder and burp, the airplane burp, or the give her Mylicon and burp because there wasn't any special way we could get her to burp quickly. Sometimes she wouldn't burp until Daddy took her, and sometimes she wouldn't burp until she went with Mommy. But now, neither of us seem to have the magic touch.

They say breastfed babies don't need to burp as much as bottle fed babies because there's less air involved. That'd be comforting if breastfed babies didn't have to burp at all. At least then we wouldn't worry if she was okay because she didn't burp. Instead, we are always left with some uncertainty if she'll be alright when she doesn't burp. Is she going to wake up in an hour because she didn't burp? Is she going to spit up instead of burp once we put her down? Do we really have to wake her up to burp her since she probably won't burp anyways?

I'm not even sure at what age we can stop burping her. Sometimes she'll burp on her own just sitting there (like she did right now). Does that mean she can control her own gas? I doubt it since I know certain 33 year olds that can't control their own gas. Mommy just burped herself while she was nursing Kaylani, so unless she wants to be a hypocrite, I think Daddy just got the green light to keep burping at the dinner table (even though she claims it's different because we're not at the dinner table). But hey, Daddy's little girl has to learn somehow, right?

The Kitty Cat

Babies supposedly give you signs and little clues as to what they want. It's our job as parents to pick up on these clues and translate them. And when that doesn't work, you go through the checklist of things they could be trying to tell you. Is she hungry? Is she wet? Is she poopy? Is something pinching her? Is she gassy? Or does she just want to cry? Well she's got a tell, and it's something Mommy calls "the kitty cat."

Now she doesn't always do "the kitty cat", but it's happened enough that we can officially call it a tell. Some of you can probably already guess what it tells us, but for those who can't, here's a little description.

Picture a cat, lying on her back. Now picture a string dangling in front of her face. What's the cat gonna do? She's gonna swipe at the string, usually with one hand, then the next, again and again. For those of you cat owners/lovers, picture that same scene, but when your cat is actually sleeping, so everything kind of just happens in slow motion. Well that's what Kaylani looks like, except she also turns her head to the side a little bit and opens her mouth too.

So, mouth open, alternate arms swiping at the air, is what we call "the kitty cat," and she does it when she's hungry. 10 times out of 10 if we see her doing that, it's time to nurse. 10 times out of 10, if she doesn't nurse immediately, she's going to cry.

We figured that one out a few days ago. For those of you keeping score at home, that's 1 point for Mommy and Daddy! Now all we have to do is figure out the rest of what she's trying to tell us, and we'll be just fine. And we'll get there, I know we will. All we need is a little more time, and that's not a problem, because we're just at the beginning of a lifetime.

And as is customary here at The Daddy Diaries, new pictures from the last 2 days are now available for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy! And don't forget to come visit for a live viewing. We're always happy for the chance to show off our baby girl!