Imagine if...

You ever wonder what life would have been like if things were different? What could have been if you had just (insert regret here)? Or maybe you sit back and dream about what might be in the future? Lay there and imagine the infinite possibilities of what's to come? Well lately I've been doing both.

I haven't posted a single thing since 2009...which for those of you counting, is over 9 months ago. And before that, I logged a grand total of 39 posts between September to December, which is about 300 posts less than I did over the previous year. Pretty sad, and now looking back, I wonder what could have been. What would I have written on Kaylani's first day(s) of daycare? What about her first day at gym class, music class, or Sesame Place? The first wedding she attended? Her road trips to Boston, NYC, Philly, to the beach, or her trips to Puerto Rico and Beijing with her cousins? Or what about the first (and only) time she used the potty, or when she started talking in full sentences? Or when she started counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 6? Or maybe when she decided to change it to 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 instead?

All of these things and so much more happened in the last year and none of them were documented. Sure we've got pictures of all of these things, but after looking back at what this used to be, pictures just don't compare to a good old fashioned story telling blog.

So here we are, almost a year since my last "real" post. Kaylani is 6 weeks away from turning 2 years old, Daddy is 4 days away from starting a brand new job, and we're up to 4 people who have asked what happened to "The Daddy Diaries." I could give a million excuses on what went wrong (crazy job, lack of time, writers block, etc), but instead, I'll vow to pick things back up. I'm going back to the basics. Back to writing from the heart and about the things we're going through with Kaylani. Back to writing for Kaylani's sake, instead of for writings sake.

This blog was supposed to give us something to look back on and smile as we saw where we've come from and how we got to where we are. So that's what we're gonna do. You can just imagine what that's gonna be like.

SAHD Week: Day 5 - 300th Post!

Today is the 5th and final day of my SAHD week. Monday starts a new era in my professional career, and I'm just glad I got to spend a whole week at home with Mommy and Kaylani before doing so. Part of me thinks Mommy is glad that I'm going back to work...but we'll get into that in a little bit. First off, let me get some blog business out of the way.

Today marks the 300th post into The Daddy Diaries. I started this way back on 11/6/08, or 2 days before Kaylani was actually born. I wrote my first 100 posts in 102 days. I wrote my second 100 posts in 98 days (not sure how that happened). And here I am, writing my third 100 posts over the course of 121 days. Sensing a trend? Okay, it's not so much a trend, but this last 100 posts took significantly longer for me to write. Part of it was due to some writers block, but most of it was due to the amount of time I had to write. When given the opportunity to spend more time with Kaylani or write a post, I chose Kaylani. Thanks for all of you who have stuck around, who've been around since the beginning, or those who just pop in every now and then. Now, I bring you back to our regularly scheduled blog post.

We started our day around 7:15am today, or somewhere in the middle of early and normal. Kaylani actually woke up a little before 6. We had no idea why, but when Mommy went to change her this morning, we knew exactly why. Apparently Kaylani had a little bit of a Code Brown in her sleep. Nothing major by any means, but enough to send her pajamas straight to the wash. Breakfast went well (peach oatmeal banana and scrambled eggs and cheese with toast). Around 9:30, it was naptime. It didn't go quite as well as yesterday, but after 20 minutes, she was out for a solid hour (or enough time to watch Project Runway).

For class today, we had Little Gym, and Daddy went on a solo mission. Mommy took the opportunity to clean out her closet and then go get a massage. Little Gym was fun. For those who don't know, it's basically gymnastics for babies (and toddlers). We learned how to do back flips (there was some fancier name I don't remember), forward rolls, and to hang onto a baby bar. Then hanging part was the funniest since most babies do a "dead hang" straight down. Kaylani decided to do a "girl pull-up" (where she keeps her chin on top of the bar). Amazing upper body strength, but she cried through the whole thing. Silly baby.

After class, Kaylani, Sonia, Aadi, Sheena, Haley, and I all went to lunch nearby. It was a gorgeous day so we sat outside, had our lunch (pizza for me, pizza and peas and brown rice for Kaylani) and just chatted. This was a life I could get used to! The day was going great so far, but the part I dreaded most was coming up: afternoon nap without Mommy.

Around 1:50pm, it was time. I fixed up a 4oz bottle (you know, in case she decided she'd want some although she still only drinks an ounce or two) and we went upstairs. After about 15 minutes, 1.5 ounces of milk, and a whole lot of struggle, bottle time was over. I took Kaylani into our room, swung her around for a few minutes, and when she pushed off of me, that was it. Into the pack and play she went. I made my peace with her, kissed her a few times, laid her down from the standing position a few times, and then left. After 5 minutes, it was a miracle...she was sleeping! Couldn't believe it.

Kaylani ended up sleeping for 1.5 hours, or enough time for me to clean the garage and the shed. When Mommy called to check in, she said a few choice words (not clean enough to be mentioned here). I mean, of course she was happy that Kaylani napped and made it easy for Daddy. She wasn't happy when I said "this stay at home stuff is easy! What do you do all day?" I, of course, was joking.

The rest of the day went great. Yin Yin and Yea Yea are actually here and they're going to "watch" Kaylani while Mommy and Daddy sneak out for a "date" at a comedy club. I say "watch" because we're actually about to put Kaylani to sleep, and since she sleeps for 12 hours usually, the only thing they'll have to do is check out the video monitor every now and then...hopefully. Yin Yin asked what she should do if Kaylani cries. We weren't exactly sure how to answer because she hasn't done it!

Anyways, it's time for me to go say good night to Kaylani for the last time and hope she stays asleep. I sure hope it's a lot better than the last time we tried to go out on a date. Wish us luck! Other than Tommy and Gretchen's wedding, this will be the first time Mommy and I have been out without Kaylani. Oh man, I hope she stays asleep...for all of our sakes.

But before I go, don't forget that it's Fatherhood Friday over at Dad-Blogs! Check out all the great posts over there from the dads and moms in that great community. You won't regret it! I know I never do!

Baby Story

Not surprisingly, I have no problems talking about Kaylani. Some way or another, Kaylani works her way into pretty much every conversation I have. It's like I can't even have a conversation without bringing her up. Does my life even exist without her? I'm thinking no. Here are a few recent examples:

Example #1: Today at a client meeting (one of my last...sigh), my client was talking about her 2 American Bulldogs that she had to pick up from the vet. She came to the decision with her fiance that he would drop them off, but she would pick them up so that way she wasn't associated with the "procedure" that they were being left to. That's a perfectly normal story that had nothing to do with me. What did I do? I said I felt the same way when Mommy makes me hold Kaylani when she gets shots at the pediatrician (but on the losing end of course since I'm the one who actually has to hold her). Related? Sure. But was it really necessary to bring Kaylani up?

Example #2: I have a coworker, Amanda, who likes to use words that only people who got an 800 Verbal score on the SATs wouuld know. She came in to my office saying she had just taught Danika a new word. What did I do? I told her she should teach Kaylani some new words because she only knows how to say "mamamama", "papapapa", and "ishhhhh" real well. Could I just have called her a nerd and moved on? Oh wait, I did call her a nerd. Couldn't I just have moved on?

Example #3: I was at the Yankees game the other day watching Derek Jeter tie the all time Yankees hit record held by Lou Gehrig. As soon as he did it (in the 7th inning), we all stood up and went wild cheering. Then I said to the guy next to me, "Holy cow Derek Jeter is the greatest Yankee of all time! Did you know my baby has 2 teeth and poops twice a day?"

Okay, so example #3 didn't actually happen (she only poops once a day so I would never lie and say twice), but the other 2 are examples that have actually happened in the last 2 days. I'm sure there were plenty more, but the point is, Kaylani has consumed my entire life. As another point, this blog has allowed me to express my adventures with Kaylani. If you add them together, that means that this blog is my entire life. So if you read this blog regularly and run into me sometime in the near future, just tell me you already know everything about Kaylani and I'll just sit there quietly instead of telling you stories that you already know. Without Kaylani, I might not be anything at all, but with her, I'm the happiest Dad alive. And that's the only story that matters.

Can I help you?

Half of my job is developing strategerie for my clients to figure out how they can best market to their customers online through a CRM (customer relationship marketing) program. The other half of my job is spent analyzing data for different brands. We analyze things like who is opening our emails, how many people signed up to hear from us, who is coming to our website, and how are they getting there?

So of course, I implemented things like Google Analytics tracking on my own site as well (doesn't everyone?) Before I start talking about geeky tech things like tracking, pixels, tracking pixels, and actual code, the real reason I'm even talking about this is because web analytics can give insight into some pretty funny things. For example, I can tell who came to my site from a search engine. While that doesn't SEEM too funny, the funny part is HOW they found my site. Without further ado, I present to you my top 5 favorite search terms that drove a visitor to my site. Click on each one to find out which of my posts they saw when they clicked through.

"because she love gas" - I'm not entirely sure what this person was searching for, and I'm not entirely sure I want to, but I'm glad they got to experience a little bit of dad blog humor.

"breastfeeding wrestling match" - Seriously? Who searches for things like this?

"daddy boner blogspot" - This one grosses me out just a little bit. And no, the content they ended up on here is not remotely gross.

"doody soap" - Hehe, they searched for "doody"

"pictures of hershey kiss to color" - I bet this person was looking for a nice blank picture of a hershey kiss that they could give to their kid to entertain them for awhile. What they got was much different from that.

So there you have it. There were plenty more terms that drove visitors here, but those are definitely my favorites. Whatever it is that got you here today, thanks for coming. I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing. Oh, and since it's close enough to Fatherhood Friday, don't forget to check out Dad-Blogs for other great posts. I promise you'll get exactly what you're looking for. See you tomorrow!

The Daddy Diaries - 200th Post!

I've been thinking about this moment for the last couple of days now, and with the way Kaylani has been sleeping, I've had a lot of time awake to think. Today's post is my 200th here, which I think is a significant accomplishment. And to mark such a significant accomplishment, the post itself should be significant, right? I think so, and that's why I'm stuck.

I sat at breakfast in the hotel lobby this morning looking around for the people or event that would be the perfect lead in to my 200th post. I saw a couple with their 3 young kids sit down for breakfast across from us. I stared at them for a little bit but nothing came to me. Then 2 families with 2 kids and a newborn came in. For sure they would spark something for me. But they didn't.

We made the drive home from Baltimore re-living our vacation after Kaylani fell asleep to see if that would give me any ideas. I even asked Mommy what I should write about because I just couldn't figure out a way to make it all work. I could recap the last 100 or 200 posts and everything that we've been through with Kaylani, but I already did that when I reached the 100 mark. Again, I kept thinking that it just had to be something big. Something meaningful. Something significant.

It wasn't until I sat here on Kaylani's futon while she nursed before bed that I realized I didn't need a "gimmick" topic to write about. I didn't need any external motivation or event to write about as it relates to 200 posts. I started this blog because I wanted to capture our experiences, our challenges, our time together as a family, and I had all of that right here in this room. These 200 posts have been a blast for me to write and I'm thankful that my mind is still good enough to keep going. It's possible that I'll stop one of these days, but for now, we're still going to march ahead. Kaylani still has lots of things to experience, and that means I'll always have something to write about.

For all of you that have been with us since the early days, thanks for sticking around. For anyone who's jumped in mid-stream, or even just once or twice, thanks for stopping by. I hope all of you will continue to read along as I share a glimpse into our life. And for Mommy and Kaylani, thanks for letting me write about you everyday. Actually, thanks for being with me everyday. I couldn't do it, or anything, without you both.

So one last time, thanks for reading along. To show my appreciation, and because I know some of you just come here for pictures (Madrina Maria), here are pictures from our weekend in Baltimore. As for us, we're going to finish getting ready for bed. But tomorrow, it's the beginning of our journey to 300 and beyond! Stay tuned.

Fatherhood Friday at Dad-Blogs.com

Every day Kaylani seems to learn just a little something more. But yesterday, I learned a little something myself. Apparently there's a blogging community of parents (mostly Dad's) out there. I happened to find it through one of the Dad's in the group (Outnumbered), who found me through my Facebook group. At first I thought this was just another blogger surfing around, and probably as meaningful as my followers on Twitter (which I still don't fully understand). But once I spent some time in the community, I realized I was on to something big.

The site is called Dad-Blogs and it launched at the beginning of this year. It's essentially just a group of Daddy bloggers thrown together. Sounds simple, but it's much much more than that. For example, Friday's are deemed Fatherhood Friday's, hence the logo at the top of this post. On the outside, it seems like just another cheap marketing scam, like Thirsty Thursday or Naked Wednesday's (no? how about Naked Tuesday's?), but to me, and I'm sure to many more Dad's out there, it's just a little bit of appreciation that goes a long way.

I'm not saying that I feel unappreciated, because I know that Mommy and everyone around appreciates what I do for and with Kaylani. And even though she can't say it verbally yet, the smile on Kaylani's face all the way down to her cute little kicks let me know that she too appreciates me. And because I get to see her smile at least a little bit every day, I know that Fatherhood Friday is more like Fatherhood Everyday in her world.

So here's to my new tradition of Fatherhood Friday. May it come every 7 days, and last for 6 more on top of that. Tomorrow, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming, which in all honesty, is not much different from what you just read. But if you do want to read something new, something different, and something sports related, check out my brand new column on The Dad-Blogs called Sports IllustraDad. Think of it as The Daddy Diaries with a sports twist. Even if you don't like sports, I guarantee you'll enjoy the read. I'll even give you your money back if you don't. So why not give it a shot? You're LOSING money if you don't!

The Daddy Diaries - Post #100!

Today is the 100th post on The Daddy Diaries and it comes on Kaylani's 101st day that she's been with us (outside of the womb at least). Unfortunately it didn't coincide with her 100th day which would have been pretty cool, but I've missed 3 posting days since she was born (but had 2 pre-natal posts if you're wondering how I'm only one day off). Anyways, let's kick off this special Daddy blogging day, and the first day of Kaylani's 2nd century of days.

About a week ago, I made a slight change to The Daddy Diaries that may have been unnoticeable to most. Besides the picture slideshow that is now on the right hand side, it allowed for better archiving of all my posts. I originally clicked around past posts of mine just to see how it worked, but I found myself reading each one with new enthusiasm. At that point, it had only been 3 months since I started blogging, but as I read post after post, I realized how much I had forgotten, and just how glad I was to have posted as diligently as I have.

I re-read the first post I ever did, the one where I wasn't even officially a Dad yet. And as I read it, I remembered anxiously waiting for the day we would finally meet Kaylani, and all the fear and joy of those final days. Were we ready? Was I going to be a good Dad? Was she even going to like me? And what will she look like? Then I read a few more posts, including the one I wrote in the hospital at 5:30 in the morning just hours after she was born. I was a Dad, and the proudest Dad anyone could be. The next few days in the hospital were unbelievable, and mostly spent staring at Kaylani and actually saying "We made you!"

Then we went home, and that's when we had our first poop incident, and man was it a good one. My first day back to work and trying to focus on producing a quality work product instead of wishing I was back home holding my brand new baby girl. Then, the normal Holiday crunch came in, with Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then our first plane ride and trip to Orlando.

Before I knew it, I was all caught up and had read every single post and relived every single moment that I've shared. Each post spun off different memories in my own head, ones that never quite made it into the blog but still were clear as day to me. And all of this made me remember why I do what I do.

I do my best to write every single day so that I can remember every single day that goes by. I don't even need to write about what we did each day because whatever the topic of the day is brings back it's own memories. This blog has made me feel closer to my daughter, and closer to Mommy, and closer to myself. I read back on 3 months worth of posts and was taken aback by how much had happened. I can only imagine what it will be like when Kaylani (and Mommy and Daddy) are much older and we read back on all of these same stories that I'm writing right now. It's been an amazing journey to live, and I think it'll be just as amazing to relive it in the future.

And of course, I write this blog so that I can share my life with my family, my friends, and maybe even complete strangers. I hope you all find it entertaining to read because I certainly have been entertained writing it. But most importantly, I write this blog so that someday I can share it with Kaylani. Maybe then she'll realize just how much she means to me, because I'll never be able to get it into words, no matter how hard I try.