Ever dress a fish?

I'm not a big fisherman. In fact, I'm not any type of fisherman. I went deep sea fishing once on a boat with my Dad when I was probably around 10 and I ended up getting seasick and throwing up off the side of the boat the entire trip. Then, to make matters worse, we got fined $50 a fish for the 2 measly fish that my cousin caught because they were too small. Then, on top of all of that, the cop took the fish for us. What a terrible trip.

So while I didn't take Kaylani fishing, and probably never will, I've decided that getting Kaylani ready for bed is like trying to hold a fish. Not a frozen fish or a dead fish, but an actual live fish. Kaylani squirms so much when we try and get her into her pajamas that if she was a fish and we were on a boat, she'd be back in the water and I'd be standing there looking over. Then, to top it all off, I'd probably get fined for letting a fish go.

Okay, maybe I'm stretching this whole fish thing a bit far, but she really is squirmy. She's so squirmy that I've given up on the changing table and I now change her exclusively on the floor while she's pinned down with my left leg. Sure she's crying most of the time because she hates when "the man" holds her down, but it's the only way to keep her still. The problem is that I can't get her pajamas on when my fat leg is over her. That means I've gotta let her loose.

Kaylani sleeps in full, long sleeve, footie pajamas that button all the way up (or down) through both legs. I can usually get her sleeves on just fine, but the rest is a challenge. Getting her to stay on her back doesn't work. Getting her to stay still and not flip over doesn't work. Trying to button 12 buttons between both legs and all the way up top while she's on her belly doesn't work. Trying to button her up while she's crawling away from me doesn't work. After about 10 minutes of flipping her over, buttoning a button, pulling her back to me, buttoning a button, holding her in a bear hug, buttoning a button, and so on, it's finally done. Finally she's ready for bed and released into the wild for a few minutes before the routine continues on.

Thankfully tonight's routine is over with and she's asleep peacefully in her crib. Tomorrow night we'll do it all over again. Maybe I'll head downstairs and turn on the Animal Channel or Discovery Channel to see if I can find a good fisherman's show. Or maybe I'll just keep trying to dress the cutest little fish I know.