A Sad Ending

We were ecstatic when Kaylani learned to go from belly to back. Overjoyed when she went from back to belly. Thrilled when she went from down to sit. And happy (ran out of fancy synonyms) when she could go from sit to stand. But now, all of that just makes us sad.

Being back from vacation means Kaylani finally was in the comforts of her own room and her own crib again. It also meant that bedtime routine was back on, and we didn't have to worry about her crying at night, or putting her down in the pack and play. Instead, we could lay her down in her crib after we both said goodnight, and she would drift away into dreamland for 12 hours (hopefully). But the past 2 nights, Kaylani's been the saddest little baby in the world before bedtime, and she knows it. She almost got through us yesterday too.

After Mommy finished nursing, I went back into Kaylani's room to say goodnight. After 2 kisses from us, she gets put in her crib for the night. Usually she'll either stay asleep, or ideally she'll open her eyes, look at us, and then go back to sleep when we put our hand on her for a brief second. Last night, she looked at us, rolled over, and tried to climb out. Being firm sleep training parents, we put her back down, kissed her good night again (no easy task with the crib lowered all the way down), and left the room. This is when things get sad.

For the next 5 minutes, Kaylani cried. While that's sad, it's something we're used to at bedtime. But now, she just looks sad (through the video monitor). She rolls over onto her belly, crawls to the corner of the crib, and tries to stand up. 2 nights ago she tried to stand up and toppled over pretty badly. We of course went in to make sure she was okay, which she was except for a small red bump on her chin. Nothing too bad for 2 nights ago, but there were lasting effects. Instead of trying to stand up last night, she just sat there, in the corner of her crib, looking out at the door, and crying. Not wailing, but more like a whimpering, sad, cry, for 5 minutes.

When I went in after those 5 minutes, she still cried, but tried to stand up to see me. And when she would stand up, I would lay her back down, rub her belly (or her back when she rolled over), and try to get her to sleep. Each time, she would crawl back to her corner and try and stand up to get me to pick her up. Again, being the strict sleep training parents that we are, I would lay her back down and try again. After 2 minutes, I laid her down, said good night again, blew her a kiss, and walked out the door as she crawled back to her corner.

The next 5 minutes was more of the same. Kaylani sat in her corner, holding the crib, looking at the door, crying, with a slouched over defeated look to her. At the 9 minute mark, Mommy called me from downstairs (where she was watching the other monitor) to beg me to pick Kaylani up for a little bit. She thought "Kaylani just needed a little love and wants to be with her Daddy." As if Kaylani wasn't tugging on my heart strings enough, there was Mommy guilt tripping me into picking her up. And then, Mommy goes "See?? She fell down again!"

Kaylani didn't fall down again. What she did was lie down and fall asleep, in her corner. It happened right at the 10 minute mark, and before Daddy could give in and pick her up to give her a big hug and let her know she shouldn't be the saddest little monkey in her crib. It's about that time now tonight again, so here's to hoping she stays asleep, or closes her eyes after she sees us when we put her in her crib. I'm not sure I can handle 15 minutes of the saddest baby ever waiting for her Daddy to come rescue her from her crib.