Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Sad Ending

We were ecstatic when Kaylani learned to go from belly to back. Overjoyed when she went from back to belly. Thrilled when she went from down to sit. And happy (ran out of fancy synonyms) when she could go from sit to stand. But now, all of that just makes us sad.

Being back from vacation means Kaylani finally was in the comforts of her own room and her own crib again. It also meant that bedtime routine was back on, and we didn't have to worry about her crying at night, or putting her down in the pack and play. Instead, we could lay her down in her crib after we both said goodnight, and she would drift away into dreamland for 12 hours (hopefully). But the past 2 nights, Kaylani's been the saddest little baby in the world before bedtime, and she knows it. She almost got through us yesterday too.

After Mommy finished nursing, I went back into Kaylani's room to say goodnight. After 2 kisses from us, she gets put in her crib for the night. Usually she'll either stay asleep, or ideally she'll open her eyes, look at us, and then go back to sleep when we put our hand on her for a brief second. Last night, she looked at us, rolled over, and tried to climb out. Being firm sleep training parents, we put her back down, kissed her good night again (no easy task with the crib lowered all the way down), and left the room. This is when things get sad.

For the next 5 minutes, Kaylani cried. While that's sad, it's something we're used to at bedtime. But now, she just looks sad (through the video monitor). She rolls over onto her belly, crawls to the corner of the crib, and tries to stand up. 2 nights ago she tried to stand up and toppled over pretty badly. We of course went in to make sure she was okay, which she was except for a small red bump on her chin. Nothing too bad for 2 nights ago, but there were lasting effects. Instead of trying to stand up last night, she just sat there, in the corner of her crib, looking out at the door, and crying. Not wailing, but more like a whimpering, sad, cry, for 5 minutes.

When I went in after those 5 minutes, she still cried, but tried to stand up to see me. And when she would stand up, I would lay her back down, rub her belly (or her back when she rolled over), and try to get her to sleep. Each time, she would crawl back to her corner and try and stand up to get me to pick her up. Again, being the strict sleep training parents that we are, I would lay her back down and try again. After 2 minutes, I laid her down, said good night again, blew her a kiss, and walked out the door as she crawled back to her corner.

The next 5 minutes was more of the same. Kaylani sat in her corner, holding the crib, looking at the door, crying, with a slouched over defeated look to her. At the 9 minute mark, Mommy called me from downstairs (where she was watching the other monitor) to beg me to pick Kaylani up for a little bit. She thought "Kaylani just needed a little love and wants to be with her Daddy." As if Kaylani wasn't tugging on my heart strings enough, there was Mommy guilt tripping me into picking her up. And then, Mommy goes "See?? She fell down again!"

Kaylani didn't fall down again. What she did was lie down and fall asleep, in her corner. It happened right at the 10 minute mark, and before Daddy could give in and pick her up to give her a big hug and let her know she shouldn't be the saddest little monkey in her crib. It's about that time now tonight again, so here's to hoping she stays asleep, or closes her eyes after she sees us when we put her in her crib. I'm not sure I can handle 15 minutes of the saddest baby ever waiting for her Daddy to come rescue her from her crib.


Eric the Bolton said...

I'm torn when it comes to the baby crying. Within the past month we've laid her down when she wasn't knocked out. She'll cry for a bit and eventually she'll crash. Sometimes we put herin teh crib because its the end of the day rush to get other things done. We know she's tired and hopefully she'll fall asleep.

We're about 50/50 in that strategy.

But we want her to be able to self soothe herself. We don't want to get into a bad habit of being picked up everytime she cries. But we also know that sometimes she just wants mommy or daddy.

But I wouldn't have been able to stand it.. I couldn't have lasted 15 minutes if it was just sad cry, not a pissed off cry.

welcome back home.

Melisa with one S said...

Oh my gosh, although I never like hearing about sad babies,

I APPLAUD YOU (see? *clapping*) for being strong on this. You will really not be able to absorb how great it is that you are doing this until Kaylani is a little bit older and you're hearing horror stories from your friends w/ younger kids about how they can't get them to bed/have to lay with them/sleep with the parents, etc. You're doing great! Keep it up!

(And tell Mommy to stop watching the monitor if she feels herself weakening. Put on some tv or something for her. haha)

JonnyTam13 said...

Hang in there Eric. It gets easier. Last night Kaylani only cried for 5 minutes. Today, she only cried for 1 minute before passing out. Soon enough (assuming we stick to our schedule), she might be good to go!

And thanks for the support Melisa! We'll keep on keeping on as best we can! And Mommy claims she can still hear Kaylani crying even with the TV on. We'll work on it thought :)