Foodertainment

We've created a monster. In doing so, we've also managed to turn ourselves into a pair of clowns. "Do I look like a clown? Am I hear to entertain you?" Yes. The answer to both is yes. Luckily the monster only comes out twice a day (usually).

Feeding Kaylani is no easy chore. She used to just sit there and eat her 2 to 4 ounces of food peacefully without a fight. We wouldn't have to play any games, or sing any songs, or make any funny faces to get her to open her mouth. But now? Now it's a different story. We have to do all of those things plus react quickly when she talks in "plbbbbbts" and sends food back at us. Then there's the constant reaching down to pick up whatever toy she dropped while again avoiding food being spit at us.

We had a few tricks up our sleeve for the rough days. Mommy could sing "you are my sunshine" to Kaylani and usually she'd open up (after the entire song was done of course). Or we could give her one of the high chair attached toys and she'd usually open up. Sometimes I could just sit and smile at her and she'd eventually smile back (and open her mouth). But lately, we've had to be a bit more original.

Tonight it was just Daddy and Kaylani for dinner. Now Mommy goes through similar things, but I don't think she's quite the sucker that Daddy is. When Kaylani would stop eating, Daddy would go get something new to entertain her with. Here's what it took to get Kaylani to eat 5oz of food:

1. Let her play with the 2nd container of food while feeding her the first (4 spoon fulls)
   
2. Let her play with one of the high chair attachments (2 spoon fulls)
   
3. Make funny faces at her until she laughed and opened her mouth (1 spoon fulls)
   
4. Let her play with the 2nd high chair attachment (0 spoon fulls)
   
5. Let her play with the house phone (5 spoon fulls)
   
6. Get up and get a crab toy for her to play with (0 spoon fulls)
   
7. Get up and get a ball toy for her to play with (1 spoon fulls)
8. Get up and get her a hammer toy to play with (3 spoon fulls)
   
9. Try the house phone again (2 spoon fulls)
   
10. Make "ahhhhhhhhh" noises with my mouth wide open to get her to copy me (9 spoon fulls)
11. Get up and get the container of Veggie Puffs to play with (1 spoon fulls)
12. House phone (0 spoon fulls)
13. Hammer (0 spoon fulls)
14. "Ahhhhhh" noise (0 spoon fulls)

When she started to cry the last time I made the "ahhhhh" noise and threw the phone and the hammer to the floor, I decided she was done. We made it through 5 oz of food which was good enough. Sure we would love her to eat 6 oz at each meal, but it just wasn't happening. I'm not sure if we're teaching her bad habits by catering to her needs, but if we don't play the game, then she just sits there with her mouth wired shut. And while I'd love to teach her a lesson by not feeding her, that usually causes some concern when she wakes up in the middle of the night because she might be hungry.

Not sure what to do about this since we've already started down this path, but at least she's eating right? That's the main part. After all, I am a clown, and I am here to entertain her. Oh, and if you want some entertainment, check out my latest Sports IllustraDad column over at Dad-Blogs. This post we look at the sad, sad, sad story of Big Papi and the life of lies he led in Boston. Very sad. I'm heartbroken about it. Really.