Stand Up, Sit Down, Cry, Cry, Cry!

We had a full day today. Okay, a full half day since it didn't start until 2, but Mommy, Daddy, Yin Yin, Yea Yea, and Kaylani all went shopping today. We headed over to the Jackson Outlets to see if we can take advantage of cheap deals on even cheaper clothes. The past few journeys out with Kaylani had gone off as well as they could, but this trip had a slightly different twist.

First of all, the Outlets are outdoor so we had to walk outside to get from store to store. Normally, not bad, but when it's 40 degrees out, it poses its own little challenge. We bundled her up nice and tight every time we stepped outside, and only had to stop once to feed her in the 5 hours we were there. From a baby-outing standpoint, it went great. She slept the entire time, cried when she was hungry, and went back to sleep. No diaper blowouts, no tantrums, just sleep.

So, in anticipation of what I'm sure will be a 1 on the scale of 1 to sleep tonight for Mommy and Daddy, I present to you, Jon's 10 Step Sleep routine (a spin on the Johnson's 3 Step Sleep Routine found here).

Step 1: "Bubbles Away to Dreamland" - Taken straight from the Johnson's routine. Every other night, we give Kaylani a nice tub bath (tonight was only the 2nd time, so before her umbilical cord came off, it was sponge bath time). She gets nice and clean, a quick towel cuddle, then dried off.

Step 2: "Massage Your Way to Sweet Slumbers" - Also straight from the Johnson's routine (although we use Aveeno Baby cream instead of the Johnson's Bedtime lotion - sorry Jbaby team)! After she's all lotiony, she gets pulled into a onesie (seriously...pulled), and her nightgown.

Step 3: "Quietly Off to Sleep" - Last step in the Johnson's routine, and we adhere to it. Mommy will read her a few books (headlined by Buenas Noches Luna), Daddy will soothe Kaylani with the sweet sounds of a keyboard typing away (currently happening), and Mommy will hum song like tones at Kaylani while she nurses.

Step 4: "Sway Like the Wind Blows" - The last step in the Johnson's routine sounds nice, but it doesn't work, so we added on. After gliding in the glider until she's almost asleep, the trick is to get to your feet and still keep that same movement for Kaylani. This usually causes her to stir, but not wake up...yet.

Step 5: "Swaddle Like a Duck" - Not so much like a duck, but here's when Kaylani goes in her crib and gets swaddled up real tight. The key is to keep a hand (preferably Mommy's) on her chest so she thinks she's still bundled next to her. It's like asking for someone to put a finger down when you're tying a bow, except instead of a finger, it's a hand, and instead of a bow, it's a baby.

Step 6: "Quiet Please" - Here's where the "shushing" comes in. The next few minutes are spent with rhythmic "shhhhhh" noises that I believe are to simulate sounds within the womb. Don't quote me on that, but I do know it works.

Step 7: "Run Away!" - If she's asleep, or calm, here's where we make our exit. We head to the bedroom, and then turn on the monitor to see if all's calm on the bedroom front.

Step 8: "So, do you come here often?" - When step 7 lasts less then 10 minutes, it's time to pick Kaylani back up and repeat Step 4. On a good night, Step 4 can be done standing with a side to side sway (which is much easier than a back and forth sway while standing...unless you're drunk).

Step 9: "Sit Down and Shut Up" - When standing Step 8 doesn't work, it's time to get back into the glider. If we're lucky, we don't need to unswaddle her, because that would take us all the way back to Step 4 instead of just going through the motions. Either way, if this doesn't work, then it's Step 8, Step 9, Step 8, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Step 8...you get the point.

Step 10: "Baby is a Four Letter Word" - Hopefully it doesn't come to this, but if all else fails, you call for reinforcements, which is Mommy's boob. Sorry to be so graphic, but hey, it works. I try not to resort to this for at least an hour so she can get some rest.

Alright, well sorry for the long post but that held me over pretty well. It's time for me to follow Step 4 for real. Hopefully I'll only have to do it once tonight...