Thursday, June 11, 2009

Kicked in the Bjorn

A universal feeling among guys is the pain of being kicked in the "area that should only be treated nicely." It actually extends beyond kicking, as any pain in that "area" is too painful to even watch, let alone experience. Videos like football to the groin, or of skateboarders who fall spread eagle onto a railing they were stupidly trying to skate down all produce the same cringe reaction from every guy. But the cringe is even worse when it's happening to you.

Ever since Kaylani was old enough to fit in our Baby Bjorn, we've had a great time using it. It's been completely handy for us when we're out walking, shopping, or even trying to get her to nap. It was the perfect accessory to free up our hands, but still have Kaylani secure and close by. All of a sudden I could drink my coffee (being very careful not to spill on her), use my Blackberry (although she can still disrupt that plan with her grabby little hands), or just pick up things while we're shopping. But now, I'm not a fan of the Baby Bjorn.

Even though there are guidelines on height and weight restrictions around usage, they're useless, or not intended for Dads. The guidelines have settings to adjust the Bjorn if your baby is up to 28", which Kaylani is just under. And since the weight can go up to 22lbs, then theoretically she should be okay. But she's not or at least I'm not. Apparently when you combine Kaylani's current height with the right setting on the Bjorn, you get pain. Not for her, but for me. And its not the type of pain that Motrin could help with.

The first time I noticed this was a few weeks ago while I was buying some new clothes. Kaylani, having just woken from her nap, was facing outwards so she could witness the world. At this particular moment, she was starting to get a little fussy, so Daddy turned to his failsafe entertainment option: his Blackberry. Now, ignoring the problem with the millions of germs that go from Blackberry to mouth, the bigger problem was her excitement level of getting the Blackberry. When babies get excited, they kick. And Kaylani kicks HARD.

Her legs happen to hang right around the "area that should only be treated nicely", and kicking does not qualify. Having been out, I had little choice but to leave her in there, but I did spend the rest of the time with one hand in a groin protective position. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly the look I was going for while I was out. Instead of fun, loving Dad, I probably looked like Dad touching himself while wearing baby. Sigh.

That was the last time I've worn the Bjorn, and it may have very well been the last time I'll wear the Bjorn. As of now, we're officially in the market for a new Bjorn that either sits in a different place...or has a reinforced steel kick plate (with padding so Kaylani doesn't hurt her feet of course). Anyone know where I can find one?

Oh, and if you enjoyed this post, then dont forget to check out Dad-Blogs for other great posts this Fatherhood Friday. With a tagline like "Dad-Blogs: A Great Place for Dads & Mom to chew the fat", why wouldn't you want to check it out?

Fatherhood Friday at Dad Blogs

9 comments:

Melisa with one S said...

How about one of those baby backpacks? Then she'll just be kicking your a$$. (ha ha, sorry: couldn't resist!)

Baby Bjorn should come with a protective cup for Daddies.

Daddy Files said...

Oh c'mon, stop complaining. Even if she did kick you in the junk isn't that a minor injury in your case? ;-)

But seriously, the backpack isn't a terrible idea. It's nice now that Will is older because I just throw him on my shoulders whenever I walk the dog or need my hands free.

Jason said...

While I've never used a bjorn, I have carried my boys on my hip. Pretty much the same experience...lots.

Mocha Dad said...

I've never used a Bjorn. I pushed all of my kids around in a stroller. I could never get used to a child being attached to me.

WeaselMomma said...

I suggest you upgrade to a stroller.

Lauren said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

But I have to admit - you shared the story with a great amount of artistic integrity. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed the read.

(PS. the title is AWESOME)

The Devoted Dad said...

We have a baby bjorn and I hear yah loud and clear. Reminds me of the boost mobile commercial. I agree with a previous comment. Maybe it's time to update to a stroller or wear a cup. -Jason

Out-Numbered said...

Piggy Back is the only way to go...

JonnyTam13 said...

@Melisa - I think the cup is a good idea! Although for teh record, they're still not comfortable to wear

@Daddy Files - You're hilarious. Let's just say it hurts more than the Yankees getting swept...and that's saying something!

@Jason - Hmm...I've heard a lot about the hip. Not comforting if it's the same!

@Mocha - I was a fan of the Bjorn. Kept my hands free and me close to my baby. Now when it was hot out...not a fan

@WeaselMomma - We def use the stroller, but the Bjorn works much better in crowded areas or in a pinch

@Lauren - Not as sorry as I am. Thanks :)

@Devoted - Luckily my daughter is much younger than the guy in the Boost Mobile commercial, but still probably kicks as hard

@Outnumbered - 7 month olds don't hold on all too well...but soon.