Thursday, June 25, 2009

Alonehood

Fatherhood Friday at Dad Blogs

Having a baby completed me. At the ripe young age of 28, having a baby was one of the final pieces in my personal life goals. Now that its happened, my personal life goals extend much further, like celebrating my 50th anniversary or watching my daughter get married (which may happen at the same time if the boys stay away as I plan). But besides that, Fatherhood has been great to me. The problem is that with Fatherhood comes Alonehood.

Alonehood doesn't happen often. In fact, tonight is the first time in Kaylani's 7.5 months that I've experienced it. What is Alonehood? Well I'm glad you asked. Alonehood is experienced when a Dad (or Mom) are left alone sans wife and sans baby. Tonight, I'm alone. Mommy, Kaylani, Abuela, Abuelo, Carlitos, and Briseida are off in Amish Country and Hershey...and Daddy is alone. And tell you what, I don't like it!

Some may say that I should enjoy my alone time. Sure I went out after work and had a beer with some coworkers, but its not the same as going home to my little girl (and wife). To kill some time, I ran some errands around town and even had time to take care of some things for Mommy's upcoming birthday, which was great. But when it comes down to it, its 9:30pm and I'm still alone.

I had nachos and McDonald's for dinner, just like I did years ago before Mommy and way before Kaylani. I had beer and watched the Yankees game. I did all types of things, and none of them felt like I was reliving my youth/bachelorhood. Instead, it felt like I was alone. To make matters worse, Kaylani slept in again this morning so I haven't held her in over 24 hours which is sad.

After spending 7 hours in a conference room I could use a good Kaylani hug, kiss, and smile. Hopefully she'll be a little awake so I can see her when Mommy gets home. If not, I guess I'll wait until tomorrow. Worst case, I get to see her and Mommy. Best case I'll get to give her a big old squeeze tonight. Either way, one thing I know is that Fatherhood beats Alonehood any day of the week. I know I'm a Father everyday regardless of where Kaylani or I am, but its sure a lot better when we're together!

And since it's Thursday night/Friday, don't forget to check out Dad Blogs for some great Fatherhood Friday posts. I know I will! And while you're there, check out my Little League season ending coaching post on why you should coach Little League when you can! Available exclusively on my Sports IllustraDad column!

13 comments:

surprised mom said...

I don't do "alonehood" very well. I grew up in a house with six other females. Then I was married and my husband and I hung out together. Then came the girls. I've always had people surrounding me, people I love and who love me. Alonehood feels lonely if it goes on too long. An hour here, two hours there isn't bad. It's refreshing. But I don't want to go a day or days without seeing my husband or girls, so I can relate.
As far as celebrating your 50th and seeing Kaylani married at the same time, ummm, I don't think so. I think the boys will be hanging around a lot sooner than you want them to be. My husband just intimidates them with a look. You'll have develop your own "look." Good luck!

Daddy Files said...

I know what you mean. That feeling of "Cool, I can eat take out and put my feet on the coffee table" lasts for about an hour. And then you want your wife and kid home.

We're old, we're dads and we love our families. Some may say that's lame, but I'll gladly be lame.

JonnyTam13 said...

That "look" is something I'm working on. Since I'm not exactly intimidating, I plan on having an accessory to help accentuate it...like a chainsaw. That should do it.

And Daddy Files, I'm lame and I'm proud of it! Now where's my wife? It's late..and the Yankees game is almost over :)

Melisa with one S said...

Ohhhh, you're such a good Daddy! Kaylani is a very lucky little girl.

I LOVE Alonehood. I always have. (Conversely, I also LOVE social time: it's a weird combo.)

My husband and boys are going on a Boy Scout trip for two weeks this year and although I will miss them (they'll be hiking in the N.M. mountains and we won't even get to do more than one or two phone calls!), I am so excited to be by myself for that long, it's not even funny. But if my boys were babies, I wouldn't feel that way. So I guess maybe I can make you feel better by saying that when Kaylani is a teenager, you will probably enjoy Alonehood much more. :)

Doug Swist said...

You and the family are always welcome to stop by when in Hershey. When Kaylani gets a little older, I highly recommend Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster over Hersheypark. Dutch Wonderland is geared much more towards little kids.

Jason said...

I remember always wanting to be around my oldest when he was a baby. Now that he and his brother are a little older, I long for alone time. Not in overly large doses but a few hours to a day here and there are great.

Bella Daddy said...

Ditto man...when alone now, I wonder...what is everyone else doing? Where are they? When they comin home? LOL...Eh, just being Dad eh? LOL

Andrew's Daddies said...

I like SOME alone time. But all I need sometimes is just an hour or two. If there is a trip, I'm going too. :)

PJ Mullen said...

It's funny how the things we used to look forward to doing - devouring a whole pizza while lounging around watching the game - just aren't the same anymore. I've only been away from my son two nights his entire life and as much fun as I had with my friends while at a Super Bowl party weekend, I couldn't wait to get home.

JonnyTam13 said...

So it sounds like everyone is in the same boat. Or at least, we're all in the same boat until we have teenagers! Looking forward to her being a teenager is like me looking forward to retirement. They're both a LONG ways away!

Surfer Jay said...

Yeah good luck with that keeping the boy away plan. Let us know how it goes, or doesn;t go.

It's funny how when the family is gone we do readily miss them, even for a day. I feel the same way.

WeaselMomma said...

That was incredibly sweet. I hope you get some cuddle and play time soon.

Smallprint said...

I love alonetime - I crave it! My personality seems set to liking my own space - not too much an hour a day would be perfect!

If the family head out for longer than a few hours - my mantra now is "alonetime promises what it can not deliver!" - as it is not too long before I miss everybody and want them home!