Friday, December 19, 2008

Late Night Shoot Out


I woke up at 6 this morning to give Kaylani a bottle like I do most days, and when I walked into her room, I knew something happened while I was sleeping. Something serious happened. I wasn't quite sure what it was yet, but from what I could see, it involved poop. And by the looks of it, a lot of it. The changing pad cover was on the floor in a ball, which is never a good sign. In it's place was a hooded bath towel, also not a good sign. And when I unswaddled Kaylani, she was wearing something different then what we put her to sleep in. That's 3 bad signs, and that was all I needed to know I missed something big.
I went downstairs to grab her bottle, and put it in the bottle warmer which is in our bedroom. Mommy was awake at this point, and pumping away as usual. So, I innocently asked her, "Kaylani have a blowout last night?" What I got back was more than I asked for.

Mommy took a deep breath before she looked up at me. She stared at me, exhaustion clear on her face, and said as calmly as she could, "it was EVERYwhere." Of course I needed more, so I probed a little deeper and this is the beginning:

"Jonathan, you have no idea. I was about to change her and she started farting and pooping, so I waited a little bit. After a minute, she started crying real bad so I thought she was done. When I took out the diaper, the poo SHOT out. It really just SHOT out. You know the part of the changing table thats higher? Underneath the basket of diapers? The poo hit that, and just went EVERYwhere!"

And that wasn't the end of it, but the bottle was warm, and Kaylani was crying, so I had to wait a bit to hear the end of it. I know that's not important to you right now, but I figure if I had to wait, so should you. Anyways, here's how the rest of the story goes:

"When it hit that part of the changing table, it just went everywhere. It went up, back onto the changing mat, on to the wall, but that wasn't the worst part. It was still coming out and I had nothing to cover it with, so I put my hand to cover it."

"You put your hand over her butt to cover the poo from coming out???" I asked.

"I had nothing else I could do! When I did that, it went all over the place. It went all over Kaylani's clothes, it went on the wall, it went on me. It was disgusting! I wanted to wake you up, but if I screamed for you, you would have had a heart attack. There was poo everywhere and I couldn't pick her up, so I wiped my hand clean with some wipes, cleaned up the area a little bit, and then I took off all her clothes, but I had nowhere to change her. So I put her in her bed after I wiped her down, got rid of the changing mat and her clothes, and then started to wipe the walls and the table off."

"I couldn't believe that poo could shoot out like that. It was like a hose, and it just bounced and splattered everywhere. Gross! But I washed my hands, came back, put a towel down, and finished changing her before I could nurse her and get her back to sleep. What a night!"

"Umm...sorry I missed it?" I said apologetically.

"Shut up."

And that was last night. I had heard stories of projectile poop, but we had never experienced it. Well, technically I still haven't experienced it, but I did hear about it. All in all, Mommy did a great job handling the situation. You can't even tell there was poop on the walls in here, or on her. Luckily for us, tonight was bath night anyways, so everything and everyone is back to normal. Well, maybe not Mommy's memory. That's one that will linger for awhile.

It's been awhile since we had a blog worthy poop story, so I hope you enjoyed it. It's now also time to enjoy some more pictures. These are from the last 2 days, which if you're keeping track, means I finally missed a day of pictures. Day 40 came and went, and it wasn't the best of days for any of us. Kaylani was a bit fussy during the day, and even at night, so when we remembered she was already asleep. Sad, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Hopefully it won't happen again for awhile. Either way, enjoy, and come back soon!

2 comments:

Mr. Sherman said...

Hehe. Hehe. Poop. Hehehe.

JonnyTam13 said...

When you visit, YOU'RE changing her. Then we'll see who's laughing about poop (me)