Bathing Doody

Sleeping Beauty is a cute fairy tale. It's one that I'm sure Kaylani will enjoy as she gets older and acts like (and is treated like) a Princess. Bathing Doody, however, is something drastically different, but something that Kaylani could be now. And the only relationship between Sleeping Beauty and Bathing Doody is that they are both stories that Daddy was told. Warning: Like Sleeping Beauty, Bathing Doody is a long story.

It's been 4 days since Kaylani had a bath, and she desperately needed one. We bathed her Thursday night before heading to Boston, with the intent of bathing her after the Super Bowl when we got home on Sunday. To make sure that we knew she needed a bath, Kaylani thought she'd help stress the bath point by spitting up on herself whenever she could over the last 4 days. And it wasn't just the "cute" spit up where a little bit drips out of her mouth and we wipe it up. They were the big spit ups where it either was a projectile spit up all over herself, or even worse, the kind that went straight for her neck.

So Sunday night, turned out to be a non-bath night just because of the car ride, the Super Bowl, the lack of sleep, and everything else. Normally we would have just waited the extra night and bathed her tonight, but that's not what happened. Since Daddy's friend Steph was coming to visit (thanks for coming Steph!), Mommy thought she would make Kaylani presentable (read: not smelly) and bathe her all by herself during the day while Daddy was at work. It was very nice of Mommy to do so I thought, but it's undecided if the outcome was worth it.

Daddy called home around 5pm to see how Mommy and Kaylani were doing. Mommy didn't answer the house phone, but called right back from her cell. I innocently asked, "How are you? How's Kaylani?" And this is what I got back:

Mommy: You remember how you wondered what would happen if Kaylani pooped in the tub?
Daddy: Ummm...yes? (I said it like a question, but I remembered quite clearly since I blogged about it a few months back)
Mommy: Yeah, well I'll tell you all about it when you get home
Daddy: You bathed her by yourself?
Mommy: Yeah...she smelled funny and Steph is coming over so I thought I should bathe her. I was wrong
Daddy: So what happened?
Mommy: I'm kinda still dealing with this right now so I'll tell you when you get home.

And then she hung up. Of course, my curiosity got the best of me so I quickly wrapped up what I was doing and headed home. It was around 5:45 when I got home and I found Mommy in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner (which was delicious despite the day's events) and Kaylani under her musical light up piano. I went over to Mommy and gave her a kiss, then to Kaylani and gave her a kiss (and received a beautiful smile in return). I counted to 5, and then not being able to contain myself anymore, asked Mommy what happened.

Mommy: Okay, so I was giving her a bath, and she was liking it. But do you remember last bath time how she was pushing her stomach real hard while we were bathing her?
Daddy: Yep, and we thought she was going to push poop out?
Mommy: Yeah, well today she did. She was pushing her stomach so hard and I was saying, Kaylani, relax! Just enjoy your bath! Then all of a sudden she went "uhhhhhh" and everything went brown
Daddy: She pooped? Just like that?
Mommy: Yeah, the clear water turned brown all of a sudden. Oh, and the tub was pretty full by the way, so she was literally bathing in her own poop
Daddy: So what'd you do??
Mommy: I panicked, so I picked her up real quick. Of course she wasn't done, so she pooped down her leg and into the bath some more.
Daddy: Ewwww! How'd you clean her up?
Mommy: I held her in my arm by the sink and splashed water on her and rinsed her off. Then I had to put her wrapped up in her towel on the floor so I could dump the bath tub out in our tub
Daddy: You dumped the poop in our jacuzzi tub??
Mommy: Don't even start with me. Yes, I dumped it in the tub. Then I ran a LOT of hot water over it and a LOT of soap...
Daddy: What soap? Don't tell me you used the Burt's Bees...
Mommy: Yep, that one
Daddy: What are we rich??
Mommy: Don't start. So after that, I picked her up off the floor, poor baby, and finished bathing her in the tub

And that concludes the story of Bathing Doody. I can't say I wish I was there, but in a way, I really do wish I was there. Not sure I would have done anything different, so Mommy did a great job handling on her own. And Steph, if you're reading this, hope you liked smelling Kaylani, because this all happened because of you!