Thursday, May 21, 2009

Save me Daddy!

We had big plans for today. First Daddy was going to come home for lunch and eat leftovers with Kaylani and Mommy. Then, Daddy was going to watch Kaylani after work while Mommy got her nails done. And at 2pm, everything was going exactly as we had planned. But then the clock hit 2:23pm, and cows, I mean chaos, broke out. Here's what went down:

Daddy's Office, 2:23pm (insert 'dum dum' sounds from Law & Order) - I was sitting at my desk looking over a report one more time before giving the go ahead to send it out when my cell phone rang. It was Mommy. I answered. "Hello?" I asked innocently. "KAYLANILOKINCAR" came back through the phone (or at least that's what it sounded like). "What'd you say?" I asked, but I already knew something was wrong. I was already on my feet. "KAYLANI IS LOCKED IN THE CAR!" is what came back the second time. "Are you serious?" came out of my mouth and my body started moving faster than I could think. I was halfway out of my office when my brain started processing things like "IM Gordon and tell him you've gotta run out and might not make it back for the 3pm meeting" or "lock your computer before you leave" but it was too late. I was gone.

Daddy's Car, 2:28pm - I peeled out of the parking lot and was headed home to get our spare key. Turns out Mommy was at Village Park which is about 8 minutes from the house without traffic. 10 minutes to get home, then 8 minutes to the park meant I'd get there about 22 minutes after "the incident," assuming Mommy called me right when it happened. Mommy called a few more times as I sped down 95. "Don't worry, she's not crying" she would say one minute, but quickly follow it up with "should I call the police?" No, there would be no time for the police. Not on my watch.

Home, 2:36pm - Home at last. Made it home in just over 8 minutes, all made possible by the aggressive move to cut off the 18 wheeler so I could still make the exit ramp going under 40mph. Didn't even have to pass any cars on the local roads...this time. I hopped out of the car and was in the house before the car or the garage door stopped moving. By the time the garage door was fully open, I was back in the car with the spare keys in hand and halfway out of the driveway already.

Daddy's Car, 2:42pm - Some jackass cuts me off when I'm less than 2 minutes from the park and slowed me down from 50mph to 20mph. Good thing since speed bumps were coming up, but that guy is still a jackass in my mind. Mommy has called me 2 more times by this point just to make sure that I wasn't driving "recklessly." Recklessly...ha. She had no idea. As I pull into the parking lot, I start pressing the remote to unlock Mommy's car. I park next to her and hit the remote a few more times since apparently it didn't work. The dash was over.

Village Park, 2:45pm - Kaylani was okay. We opened the door and she was just sitting there playing with her feet. She took one glance at Daddy and gave a smile. Daddy just stared at her. She was okay. Thank God she was okay. Mommy opened the trunk to get her keys. That's when it all made sense. She put the keys down in the trunk of the Highlander to get the stroller out. By some freak accident, she was able to push the lock button on the remote with the trunk door while she was closing it, pushing the keys inside at the same time. If the keys jammed the door, none of this would have happened. But it did.

I stared at Kaylani for a few more minutes before even acknowledging Dorothy and Makayla's presence. Then I gave Kaylani a quick hug, Mommy a quick kiss, Dorothy the spare set of keys, and I was back in my car. As much fun as this little adventure was, I had a meeting to get to, and I only had 8 minutes to do it. But I made it. It was 37 minutes of craziness, but I made it. Made it home. Made it to the park. Made it back in time for my meeting. And made sure my blood pressure was ridiculously high. But that's just another day of parenting. So for all you driving parents out there, remember, it could happen to you so be prepared. Or work close by home and make sure Mommy doesn't go far away. Either one.

Oh, and if you want Mommy's side of the story, you're going to have to ask her. From what I heard, Dorothy did a great job of distracting her with small talk, pointing out hot guys as they jogged by, and keeping an eye on Kaylani so she didn't cry when she saw Mommy. And Mommy did a great job holding it together so she didn't cry when she saw Kaylani. Everything turned out okay. Let's not do it again.

By the way, because I won't write again until sometime Friday night, Happy Fatherhood Friday! Don't forget to check out Dad-Blogs for more great posts from the rest of the family. And while you're there, take a read of my latest Sports IllustraDad post. It's my humorous take on Michael Vick's possible teams! It reads better than that sounds. Trust me, or your money back!

Fatherhood Friday at Dad Blogs


Tommy said...

That is a Krazy story. Fortunately you have had years of NJ turnpike training for emergencies like this. Give Brenda a big hug and let her know superdad will always be there!

JonnyTam13 said...

Very true. And I didn't even crash my car this time because it was NJ, not stupid MA.

Brenda says thanks!

Daddy Files said...

Wow, you're a better man than I am. You didn't get heated with your wife or at the very least crack a few jokes about locking the baby in the car??

I wouldn't have been able to resist.

Oh, and I'm not sure if you're trying to compare NJ to MA, but there's no comparisons. Jersey drivers are the absolute worst of the bunch. You can't even take a left hand turn in that godforsaken state!!

JonnyTam13 said...

I didn't get heated, but trust me, I've cracked more than a few jokes. Things like:

"Remember when I didn't do the dishes? Well YOU locked the baby in the car!"


"When you put my sunglasses back in my car, can you make sure you take the keys out with you? Thanks"


"Sweetie, I'm leaving for work now. So if you go out, drop your keys or your cell phone on the floor, or put the carseat on the ground before you close any doors. Love you!"

Oh, and as for NJ vs MA drivers, I won't argue that NJ drivers are bad. But the main difference is that people in NJ will accelerate after they cut you off. People in MA pull out in front of you then slam on the brakes.

Jason said...

I am so terrified of locking myself out of the car I check for my keys 3 times before shutting any doors. Glad to hear all turned out well in the end though.

Otter Thomas said...

You showed superhero like skills to save the day. Way to go.

Mayte said...

Nicely done! You were lucky it wasn’t a very hot day and you were able arrived soon. You know Triple AAA Emergency Road Service membership it great for these emergencies they come very quick. (jump-start, a tire change, gas delivery, or a tow to a service station, lock key in car) I have done my chare of locking myself out of the car.

Gordon said...

I made a cameo! Nice.

JonnyTam13 said...

Thanks everyone! I've only asked the wife if she has the keys 10 times today, and she's only been out once!

ciara said...

hope you're not really cracking jokes. trust me, she feels a lot worse than you could ever feel. she will always blame herself even if it was an accident. everything turned out fine, and i'm glad.

WeaselMomma said...

And that's why parents turn gray early. Glad everything turned out okay.

-Justin said...

Speed Racer saves the world again! FTW! ;)