Thursday, January 22, 2009

Divide and Conquer

It's been 11 weeks, and I've yet to spend more than 2 hours alone with Kaylani. Because of that, I haven't had to deal with any of Kaylani's fussiness or tantrums by myself. Whenever they happen with me, usually Mommy will come to the rescue and nurse her. For the most part, she only freaks out when she's hungry or tired, and for us, those two things typically go together. And until Daddy can produce milk from his breasts, those two things are associated with Mommy.

One of these days, Daddy is going to take care of Kaylani by himself for an extended period of time so Mommy can get a break and do something for herself. And when that day comes, then I may be able to understand what Mommy goes through on a daily basis. But until then, I can only listen compassionately when I come home from work and hear those four somber words: "It was a bad day."

A bad day for Mommy typically consists of general fussiness, which means Kaylani won't eat properly, she won't stay alone, and she will just cry a lot. When that happens, it also means that Mommy can't eat properly, can't be alone, and she might cry a little. Those are the days that I wish I could do something to help out, but unfortunately, there's little I can do from the office.

But the funny thing is (not funny "haha," but funny "awww, that's sad") is that as soon as Daddy comes home, things will be alright again. Kaylani will be napping, or have just fallen asleep, and when she wakes up, she's back to being a perfect little angel. She'll smile and she'll play. She'll even nurse properly and then let us know she's ready for bed and go to sleep. It's as if it was a brand new day, except that Mommy is still tired and still a bit stressed out.

So it seems to us that Kaylani has learned to divide and conquer. When she has both Mommy and Daddy with her, she'll behave for the most part, and calm down relatively quick. But when it's just Mommy, all bets are off and its a coin flip as to which version of Kaylani she'll get. More often then not, I've heard it's a good day. It takes a few good days to make Mommy forget about the bad days, and they've got to be consecutive good days. Now, don't get me wrong, Mommy handles the bad days better than I could ever imagine and that's why I have all the respect in the world for her, but I shudder to think what consecutive bad days would do.

I think it's just a phase that Kaylani goes through. Actually, I HOPE it's just a phase that Kaylani goes through. Whenever Kaylani decides she'll take a bottle again, I hope that the phase is over because that signifies that Daddy's day with his little girl is just around the corner. And if it's a bad day for Mommy, I'm sure it'll be a much worse day for Daddy. It's well known that Mommy is the strong one in the family, but only time will tell just how much stronger that is.

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