Feeling Old

I'm a few months away from being 29, but I feel like I'm a few months away from being 39. Kaylani's a week away from being 6 months, but I feel like I've aged 10 years in her 6 months. That sounds bad, bit it actually has nothing to do with her. It all has to do with the perception that she brings about.

I work for an agency based out of Princeton, NJ, but we have a big office in NYC. Most of the partner agencies I work with are based out of NY too. What that means is that the fact that I'm 29 means absolutely nothing. But, the fact that I have a 6 month old daughter and a house in the suburbs makes me far older than a few months away from 29.

Besides the NYC social sterotype that adds a perceived 10 years to my life, there's something else that has added far more years to my life. More appropriately, it's likely taken away years of my life. Tonight, I particpated in my first Little League coaches softball game. You would think that playing with/against a bunch of 40-50 year olds would make me feel younger. You'd also be wrong because that's when I realized just how old my body was.

Forget the fact that I have a daughter and a house in the suburbs. The real definitive point to my elderliness (is that a word?) is that I have the body of a 40-50 year old. On the field we joked about 80% of the team needing to chug a bottle of Aleve instead of another Silver Bullet. Off the field, I actually chugged a bottle of Aleve.

When it comes down to it, I made my plays tonight like a 29 year old. I fielded my position, got my hits, and ran on and off the field. But tomorrow, it's likely that I'm going to default to Mommy a bit more to pick up and hold Kaylani because I'm just not sure I'll be able to. Typing this post luckily only involves my fingers. If it required any more physical exertion, it's likely that it wouldn't have happened at all.

So consider this one of my first major sacrifices for The Daddy Diaries. Holding Kaylani tomorrow won't be considered a sacrifice because I love every chance I get. It just may not happen as often as I'd like it to on a weekend day. Not unless that Aleve works it's magic 24 hours a day.